live in a joinr family system wid grand parents n grand grand mother also.now son is developing indecent language n words frm them.some times even shows very aggressive behavior towards them when they restrict him or just make fun of him. what shud i do?
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
first talk to your son and set expectation that behavior is not right.
Then talk to grandparents and set parenting guidelines. Kids feel that they can get away with murder with grandparents because they let kids walk all over them. If he knows that they will not be happy with his behavior - his actions might change.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
children pich up from those around them,
if you and your husband ask them to help you out with his language and try not to use any wrong words infront of him or make fun of him in a bad way. that may help.
you will need to do this carefully so they do not feel upset or insulted.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
Hi to all
I would suggest that recite drood Sharif 1st then.
discus this situation with ur husband.
Don’t shout and beat ur Kid u and ur husband do brain storming session with ur kid.
explain and tell dos and don’ts
live in a joinr family system wid grand parents n grand grand mother also.now son is developing indecent language n words frm them.some times even shows very aggressive behavior towards them when they restrict him or just make fun of him. what shud i do?
I have seen it happening to a 4 year old boy in my inlaws. I can tell you with full confidence that no matter how much you explain to the grandparents they won't mend their ways. They are too old for that now and they don't recognise & accept their wrong approach.
I don't know how old your kid is ! but once he will start going to school things will get better because over there his behaviour use of indecent language would be criticised and the grandparents won't be in a position then to call the school wrong.
It does effect the child's self esteem I know and the only person who can talk out with the grand parents is the child's father.
Or what u can do is infront of grandparents when he does wrong or use bad language correct him & show a little bit of anger towards him too.......don't think what grand parents will think just teach your son as a parent what u shd be teaching be it in private or in front of them and if they stop you tell them you just don't think it's right for him to use such language and it's your duty to stop him.
It's a difficult situation for sure !
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
I agree with Diamond... Sometimes elders find it hard to change their habits and then you are stuck between a hard place and a rock ... In times like these the best strategy is to stop the child and correct him strictly when ever he says the wrong words ... be it infront of his grandparents or privately.
But this should be done only if several conversations with the child dont lead to constructive results .
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
diamond and chicken you are both right
but if you don't let the grandparetns know then they will not even try to make an effort.
it is their grandson who is learning the wrong thing i'm sure most grandparents would not want that.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
Move out.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
thats a very important point mamababa and definitely its important to talk to the grandparents as well … 
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
i agree with diamond...
tell ure child off infront of the grandparents.. that will show them indirectly that its wrong to use such language in the house... or at all ...
and though it may not bear any fruits.. but do talk to the grandparents involved or whoever it is for that matter... they may be careful not to use such language next time around
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
agree with the approaches here
btw what is “indecent” language? 
I know someone who willl not anyone use the S-word (S-word = stupid) around her children. Meanwhle S-word means something else to me. Everyone has diff expectations
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
parents child, parents laws. period :)
everyoen raises their kid according to what they thing is right.. so gotta respect that. what is fine to me wotn be to anotehr parent.. and vice versa..
and taht is where the joint family system or shared living with other relatives friends etc becomes hard.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
^ very true … was about to say the same 
parents child, parents laws. period :)
everyoen raises their kid according to what they thing is right.. so gotta respect that. what is fine to me wotn be to anotehr parent.. and vice versa..
and taht is where the joint family system or shared living with other relatives friends etc becomes hard.
Exactly. I agree with your first two points but there's others who wouldn't agree with that. oh well.
Sorry to say but I have seen several bad examples where the mothers try to discipline their boys nad teach them right but everyone around them spoils them instead. So the child doesn't listen to their mother at all and hte mother becomes the bad guy.
Its wonderful when grandparents and extended relatives are on board with the parents and respect their rules, but when they're not...life can be hell.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
parents child parents law can be extremely hard to implement.
i've experienced it from both set's of our parents
with my own parents we see them regularly cos we are in the same city, they are now used to what we allow for our son and what we don't, yes they still do spoil him a little but when he is doing the wrong thing they don't stop from telling him off that he is wrong.
My in laws are in pakistan and they have only met our son once for a month when we went.
so they don't know our rules and routines it was much harder there.
for example there little babies are handed sweets all the time and we don't allow him sweets and lolipops especially when he was only 18 months at the time. and getting them to understand that was really hard.
and letting him know he was wrong or telling him off was a big no no for them.
i was so kindly compared to an unpar jahil aurat cos i would tell my son off or try to keep a degree of control on his behaviour.
it means illiterate language words, like “saanu v jaaj (not even jahaz) tey baa ley” "bari soni gaddi(car) aye"n so many others.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
Um, that sounds like Punjabi to me…not illiterate language…
yup thats poonjabi. may sound paindu'ish but definitely ain't indecent.
it means illiterate language words, like "saanu v jaaj (not even jahaz) tey baa ley" "bari soni gaddi(car) aye"n so many others.
That's not indecent. Perhaps it's more important to be thankful that your child is exposed to multiple languages and taught how to distinguish them.
Re: indecent language of 3 years old
^ agree.