Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
In my neck of the woods and the surrounding communities, divorces among desis have been on the rise for quite some time now. There are several factors contributing to the rising divorce rates and none any different than those affecting non-desi marriages. And, it’s also non-arranged marriages that are heading for divorce.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
Well if you are so materialistic then why get married to someone you know who wouldn't be able to afford all the luxuries for you?
What about men? I'm sure women aren't the only ones asking for divorce. Men must be doing it too. What is their reason?
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
She got too fat
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
One reason: Wife demands it in an emotional outburst and husband obliges.
I have studied plenty of marriages 
and I would say most girls are highly emotional. They think of marriage as some form of entertainment without responsibility. Their images get shattered in the first year of the marriage. I know a couple of friends whose wives demanded divorce in the first year of marriage but were not granted. Both of their wives are happy these days. 
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
It is the perception before marriage that the wealthy family will provide for the other person … a wrong assumption for a lot of people.
A friend of mine who I grew up with got divorced two years ago. A very nice girl from a very wealthy family. It was an arranged marriage and both were born and raised in England. The guy’s family kept demanding money from her family first for household things and then living expenses (they were all living together). It got really ugly cause the girl’s side didn’t think it was right for them to keep giving the other side money. Mistakes were made by the girl’s side too who in the beginning would give in and provide their daughter with money, which would be handed over to her husband/in-laws. He would literally send her home to bring more money for them and she started saying no. The marriage was over within six months.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
here are the stats in the US for 2003. I don’t know about pakistan.
Number of marriages: 2,187,000
Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population
Divorce rate: 3.8 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)
That shows the divorce rate is perilously close to 50%. 
According to a paper by Margaret Brinig and Douglas W. Allen, “These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most Divorce Filers are Women” (in American Law and Economics Review, vol. 2, number 1, 2000, pp. 126-129), women currently file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US.
Men are less likely to want to go thru’ the divorce process, because its cheaper to stay married. With the ridiculous alimony and child support laws, no guy wants go thru’ a divorce. I am fairly americanized and if i marry someone likewise, then accroding to the stats, our marriage has a whopping 50% (or less cuz of desi factor) chance of failure. In which case, i am terrified of losing my house, kids, not to mention doling out exorbitant alimonies. Now, to think the desi broad wont take advantage of the lopsided american divorce laws and milk it for all they have to offer is some wet dream that we men cant afford.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
^ IF u treat ur wife like a queen, don't take her for granted, call her fat after marriage, etc etc, then she will treat you like a king :) At least thas how I think it shud be, or how i would do it..
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
actually divorces are becoming very common in pakistan as well, even though love marriages are on rise and arrange marriages are becoming rare. one would think love marriages should work out, as time has been invested in getting to know each other etc. it is pretty scary. Mehnaz is right about T.O community as well. i have seen atleast 3 couples separating or ending up in divorce within 2 years. two of them were love marriages and one was arranged. in one of the love marriage, it was case of domestic abuse, which was understandable, but in others i didnt really get it. too much expections, being too idealist instead of being realistic?
i guess it all boils down to how much effort and time are u willing to put into ur relationship. how much are u willing to compromise with little things and not make mountain out of a mole.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
Mutual love and respect won't work?
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
Well said…
For some reason, there is no divorce I have heard in Pakistan where I lived…There was on in my family a long time ago…The guy was a perv who had married and divorced 7 times…
And the community I lived in, is all arranged going on there…
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
With all the shiit that happened to some of the women in my family who should have divorced thier husbands, htey didn’t… and i’m thankful for some that didn’t 
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
So true!
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
“It’s a thing called compromise that parents used to teach their kids in the older times. I think every man and woman can “match” and reach a common ground from which to take the marriage further. But for that you have to learn to compromise, and that is something we, the new gen. , are incapable of doing. I think the room for compromise in love marriages is less since expectations are already built up. I am sure if you were to do a study of divorce rates among desi marriages, you would find it to be signifiantly higher in the case of love marriages”
Well said 
…we expect too much from marriage but nothing can ever be perfect…lol couples are supposed to support each other through good and bad times but nowadays people are more selfish and expect everything to be good all the time…
Just a question…how is divorce in Pakistan or is it still quite Taboo?
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
A woman who is not afraid to slap a man would come across these kind of concerns..
And then we wonder why people don’t get along, get married or get divorced.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
So love or arranged, they both now have a significantly higher chance of failing than in the past. As for the materialistic side of the families, I've often heard it's best to marry within your class/status, so likely you won't run into such problems.
I don't really see a solution to this problem, other than learning to live with it (ie. people getting divorced).
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
Why Divorce rate is increasing?
Why it's expensive?
Why it's happening?
...because it's worth it :p
Atleast that's what the people who have divorce think.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
Men are less likely to want to go thru' the divorce process, because its cheaper to stay married. With the ridiculous alimony and child support laws, no guy wants go thru' a divorce. I am fairly americanized and if i marry someone likewise, then accroding to the stats, our marriage has a whopping 50% (or less cuz of desi factor) chance of failure. In which case, i am terrified of losing my house, kids, not to mention doling out exorbitant alimonies. Now, to think the desi broad wont take advantage of the lopsided american divorce laws and milk it for all they have to offer is some wet dream that we men cant afford.
That should give you more incentive to treat your future wife right.
Re: Increasing Divorce Rate
An increasing divorce rate is not necessarily a bad thing. More divorces mean less unhappy marriages. Abusive marriages usually do much more damage to children in the long run than the one time traumatic divorce.
Ofcourse that is not to say that divorce should be encouraged, far from it. However, the fact remains that some couples just can't get along. Instead of duking it out day in and day out thinking they are doing the children some sort of favor by sticking together, its better to just call it quits.
