Dispute started when wife said "my money" husband said never said mine its "ours" like hubby's money is ours like that wifey's money is not hers its ours.
husband has no right on his wife's wealth without her consent from islamic point of view and i guess that had been established by assuming wife is taking care of home and earning by either being at home or giving due care of it.
all the laws whether heavenly or man made are made based on certain reason or assumptions.
if children are in day care and she is out as her husband is then whole equation has changed, i guess we need to look for a fatwa from a learned scholar , because both are out to looking for money/career etc, in this situation logically wealth can be shared as wife didn't do her part of job right based on traditional and islamic point of view.
furthermore it has more to do with understanding if wife wants to use certain piece of law/ethics code to hide something then there would be 100 other things/favours that her or any other husband is not required to do but doing.. if we keep on counting then gare kese chalegi.
relationships are more important (husband wife is unique of them all) than any other thing money is least of them provided other things between them are right (husband is not involved in haram activities).
here is another situation, if husband is stuck/or in desperate need wife got it plenty..then what.....still apna apna