Hi!!!
I would like to ask your opinion on the following:
What do you think about including wife’s conditions in the marriage document such as: 1) right to work 2) right to divorce etc..
and how realistic is it that the guy and the guy’s family will be ok with it?
Honest views are very much appreciated!
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
^ that would be a pre-nup, wouldn't it? i don't think you can include that in a nikkah. ultimately though, it doesnt matter if its in there- you need to figure this out with your husband before marrying him, because if he doesn't want you working after marriage, what're you gonna do? divorce him? unless you mean you should be entitled to more if you do get a divorce based on that reasoning, for example, in which case that is definitely a pre-nuptial agreement and not a nikkahnama.
That’s true. The only thing that u can include in the nikah naama is the … what was it called… haq meher?
And i’ve heard of some serious fights taking place between families during the time of nikah because the girl’s family wants a huge sum of money and other bits n pieces for haq meher whereas the boy’s family refuse to write down such a huge amount.
On my mother’s wedding, it was only 500 rupees and on my sister’s wedding (last year) it was only 5,000 rupees, we didn’t want any fuss especially when u know what kind of a person you are getting ur daughter married to.
PS: Film actress Meera’s haq meher was 2 crore rupees + 2 lakh monthly income i think 
Coming back to the topic, decide everything else with ur husband prior to getting married.
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
if u r asking for urself then i really think u should sort these issues out with the guy before u get married to him. im not sure abt what kind of conditions u can/cant add in the nikah such as right to work... ive never actually heard of anything being added in the nikah for the girl except for the haq mehr.
i dont think u need to add in right of divorce because every married woman in islam has the right to khulla... someone correct me if im wrong.
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
^ not right of divorce, i think she meant what her rights would be if she got a divorce based on certain conditions like not being allowed to work.
as far as I know a woman can even divorce on the basis that she just can't stand him! :) Talk about women rights in islam!
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
hi all...
i think i know wat conditions she can add...
dear pesh u can add any condition in nikahname rather it will be out of logic...
atleast in my country...
u can get divorce right & i know in pakistan u can check its box but my husband said its very odd there...
u know i was talking with my husband abt these condition statue there...here we take easily no one mind but i feel pakistanies mind as their culture is diffrent...but here any got such rights as written it wasnt main as some member here said im also agree watever u written its not matter watever u agreed by heart is matter...i saw girls who took the right but when in life husband didnt wish & teased them so they left...i also saw husbands who were not agree to work but when they saw wife isnt happy with current housewife job they let her to work...
so as a girl who in my family many takes such rights(even its so common to take right of living place ) but i didnt take any...as i see my khale had right to choose place of living to not go to a specific city but her life goes on as they had free home so now she lives there for some years & after that she will again come back....she is not forced she decide with hubby....
so i feel all depend on heart agreement than papers....
i belive papers r for when u dont know ur husband much be4 marriage...
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
also abt if u can take rights in islamic view...
as far as i know Hazrat Fatima Zahra(sa) was taking right of living place as it should be near his father ....
i also know Hazrat zeinab took right of meeting his bro(imam hussein as)...
so in islamic point of view its not matter islam gave rights to girls to take any right of husband as nikah condition...
also abt working in islam...permission of husband need but our master Hazrat Mohammad(sa) was happy with hazrat Khadija business....also Imam Ali (as) was letting Hazrat Fatima(as) to manage big land of Fadak in time of our prophet was alive...
so if someone belive in islamic vales so he wont mind women job...but same time women job shouldnt disturbe their home light & fresh lovely feelings of wife
any other idea?
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
Like most ppl said, you should talk to your husband before getting married. Remember though, go over your nikahnama yourself and read, re-read it until you are fully satisfied. This whole job issue i don't think should be on nikahnama. You should discuss it with your husband. Try to talk to him about all the things that would bother you, or things you'll like to still do after gettng married. Don't say that in front of Mullah or his family on the D-day. Lets not embarass him. From your earlier posts, I can pretty much tell your husband is nice. I don't think anything you ask for would be an issue for him.
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
dear spiral...
pesh isnt pakistani so she doesnt have ur nikahname same abt me...so if u have it can u give me link also....
also dear spiral...thoes conditions she said she can put in any nikahname by handwritting itsnot issue in any country law
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
nikkah nama is basically a contract. it has some stuff that is universal, but you can modify it in anyway you want. so yeah, islamically, it is ok to add anything you want, besides the stuff alerady present. so you can add to the nikkah nama that the guy is obliged to bring you flowers every day, otherwise the nikkah will be invalid.
as for the right to divorce, the nikkah nama already comes with that stipulation, that is if the girl is allowed to ask for a divorce or not. usually the larkay walay cancel that, so you can get them to not cancel it.
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
Meri opinion toh yeh hai k kagahzon pe ghar nahi basste ghar basste hain with hardwork communication understanding and sorting things out together
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
^ I agree. People who have said that the nikah nama cannot include anything other than the haq mehr are wrong. As Khumar said, the nikah nama is basically a contract and yes haq mehr is madatory for the nikah to be valid but you can add whatever clause you want if that makes you more feel protected. This is just a misconception in Pakistani culture that you cannot include any additional clauses.
Also, you can give yourself the right to divorce in a nikah nama...true there is Khula but you can only get a Khula if the husband gives his consent whereas in a divorce you don't need your husband's consent so these two issues are very different. You can definitely include the right to divorce in a nikah nama. And mehr does not always have to be a monetary amount. It can be anything but a monetary amount is preferred since it's easier to fulfill.
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
Pesh : you have doubts that you will not be allowed to work later? Does that mean you have sort of discussed this with your fiance already?
What did he say? Do you think he will change later on?
My nikah happend in the US... My nikahnama is just half a page.. with both our signatures and witnesses. Haq Mehr.. THAT'S IT. yes very short.. to the point.. no complications :)
Both the parties were given a paper with what nikah demands and we could only sign nikahnama once we agree on those conditions. Basic things like both the parties have right to divorce, our marriage is good faith marriage, we both aren't involved in affairs at the time of our nikah, girl's rights, guy's rights..etc...
Nikahnama itself is very very simple. Though one thing i'll mention is that, the imam who did the nikah said, if it ever comes down to where the guy does not give divorce to the girl when she demands it in all right circumtances and the US court does wrong justification then you come to me. I wish more and more ppl conducting the nikah would do this. It felt really good when he said that. Women's rights.. Hell ya!
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
There is a place in teh nikahnama where it says a woman can have the right to divorce. Its usually marked as N/A but as its being shown nowadays in ARY's "Buri Aurat" its very much doable. Nikah in Islam is like a civil contract. But as someone mentioned above, people don'traelly like these kind of things in nikahnamas. The "nan nafqa" that is monthly upkeep/ money can also be written in.
Hi Pesh!
I believe certain conditions that are set are a pre-nup which is different from your nikkah bc thats a islamic marriage and a contract for mehar. So you can have both. I believe another lovely wrote on your thread that you can even divorce the guy bc you cant stand him so i think you are covered ;)
You should get your fiance and his family together and yours and discuss these issues openly so both families and individuals are on the same page. It is better to clear up things now versus later. So everyone can be at rest and have a peace of mind. (especially you ms. bride to be =) )
hope it helps!
Hi!!!!
I would like to ask your opinion on the following:
What do you think about including wife's conditions in the marriage document such as: 1) right to work 2) right to divorce etc..
and how realistic is it that the guy and the guy's family will be ok with it?
Honest views are very much appreciated!
Re: Including conditions in the marriage document?
Yep, you can put pretty much everything including pre-nup on the nikkah nama. I know the nikkahnama in pakistan is like 4 pages long, or two double-sided. There are boxes in it that you can check off for rights of divorce etc.
Khula is by default her right but that is subjected to an agreement by the husband. Islamically, right to divorce can be added in the Nikah nama.
Following 2 lines are part of Pakistani Nikah Nama
18. Whether the husband has delegated the power of divorce to the wife. If so, under what conditions: ___________________
*19. Whether the husband's right of divorce is in any way curtailed:_________
*
btw guys this is a question out of this topic But are the nikkah namas in Pakistan - in English or urdu?