Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I was introduced to this girl through mutual families. She’s great. Quite funny and I like her much. We get along just swell. We are still getting to know each other.

Lately she’s on the fast-track of getting emotionally close to me. I have been worried. But today, things took a wild turn…

Shortly after dinner with the families, this potential fiancee of mine suggested something to me that literally knocked the air out of my chest! She might be identified if I give details, so I will just say that it would fall under morals and values category.

Do I tell her “that’s most definitely not my way of doing things” and continue getting to know her, or just quietly walk away from this relationship if it truly bothers me?

2

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

why would she be identified if you tell us what it was that she said “under morals and values category”. i’m really curious now :hinna:

why are you being so hard on her for blurting out something that she might have said maybe as a joke and you by accident took it seriously, or maybe since you two were getting close emotionally, she felt comfortable enough to say it :slight_smile: why judge her so harshly?

3

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

sounds like a keeper to me.

4

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

ok, i need more details lol...
but if everything is great, as Nisha said, why not give it a chance?
I too sometimes say things that shock people, but its my sense of humour..im just joking and not serious about it...but i guess people need to know me in order to know that, so what I say can often be taken the wrong way. If anything bothered you about what she said, why not bring it up? If this is potentially the woman you will get serious with, you should be able to be open and honest with her as she was with you. And dont forget that if she was serious, its always ok to agree to disagree (depending on how bad what she said was)

5

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

U need to give more details as to what she said.

6

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Keep an open mind, without compromising your morals. Let her know that that's not something you are interested in (for now :p ), but you are looking forward to meeting with her again, etc. She might have miscalculated in trying to keep your interest. Don't write her off yet.

7

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

lol what a prude

8

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Troll

9

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

And here is the kicker!

You are putting** if **on your own feelings. :wink:

Nice story.

You could have asked the same question as a general situation. :smack:

10

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

A girl advances and a guy back steps. Now where are all the feminazis on loudspeakers wailing that girls are sex objects.

11

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

:smack2:

12

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Details please...it seems as if you're not even sure if this is okay or not.

She might have felt close enough to say something to you and if she did...why judge her?

If she cant be open with you, who else can she be open with?

13

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

May be you misunderstood her. At times when one is thinking too much about something, he might feel someone saying the same stuff (from whomever it can be expected ) and even a minor indication convinces him that the other person was actually talking about the same stuff. Believe me, I have heard people saying things that convey dual meanings, specially in jokes (you mentioned that she is funny).

Please don't take it as an offense, it is just a possibility. It would be better to ask her what she actually meant. She might have tried to say something else or shared a bad joke in a light mood and you might have taken it too seriously.

14

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

:omg:

if a girl had posted this…all u feminazis would go “oh…he is dangerous, tell a lot about his character…run away!!!” LMAO..

nice trolling bru btw

15

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

The girls behaviour clearly shows she is desperate enough for your attention. May be you are not giving him clear signals that you like her that she thinks she needs to do such 'favours' for you to get attracted to her or to make a decision for marriage fast. May be its just her attempt to ensure that you say yes to the proposal. Do not take her advances as something which shows that she has bad character. May be its just that she badly wants this relationship and trying her best to secure this relationship.

You need to give her confidence that you are seriously thinking about entering into this relationship and she does not need to use such tactics. Ask her to save these for after the marriage as you already like her she does not need to lose the moral values because they mean a lot to you. She will know your liking of moral values and she will try to be more mature the next time.

But if she continues this behaviour, you might want to think about leaving her, if you can't stand such girls. The choice will truly be yours.

Isn't it too early to be open with a guy while they are just in the getting to know stage? When a girl becomes too open, she becomes truly emotionally attached to the guy and if things do not work out well, she tends to go into depression. Guys are soo emotionally strong. See, Zadeh is giving second thoughts to this girl on such thing which he is not even sure of. It will be easy for the guy to break off even on just small things.

16

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

There are bad charactered girls in the world (and more specifically in Pakistani community). But guys do not need to be afraid of them. Girls cannot be forceful until there is some reciprocation from guys. The guys can enjoy the company of such girls and then marry off a shareef pak daman girl in the end.

However, if a girl runs into such a guy who needs such favours from a girl, it is kinda dangerous situation for the girl as guys are strong enough to force the girls into something bad which can ruin the lives of the girl. So its just because of this that girls make such a fuss about guys putting even bad nazar (yeah remember those nasty stares on other thread) on girls.

17

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

do you have phone numbers of some?

18

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Why do you want them ;)

There are good and bad people everywhere and my statement was just a general statement. I have heard stories of girls who used to run away from college with guys and a few of them ended up getting pregnant.
Its not that I am badnaaming pakistani girls. But then again, good and bad people are everywhere.

19

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Welll it seems like you both have different moral values or may be what you think bold is what she thinks normal. May be you are not broad minded and she didn't know that. May be she is bold and you don't know her very well. How many times have you met her? To understand someone completely you need to spend more time with her/him. So i will suggest you that if you don't like her behavior you should talk to her openly. Tell her whats your moral values, what you are looking for in a girl for marriage and all the other relevant details.

and please don't walk away quietly. If she has no bad intentions then it would hurt her really badly. And it will be good if you discuss your issues with her so that she would be more careful next time and wouldn't repeat her mistakes. Talk to her, make her feel comfortable with you so she can clarify her situation. Don't make her embarrassed.

20

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

Ohhhhhhhhhhh Sexy ;)
Lols.