Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

[Niksik]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

@Zadeh

I was introduced to this girl through mutual families. She’s great. Quite funny and I like her much. We get along just swell. We are still getting to know each other.

Lately she’s on the fast-track of getting emotionally close to me. I have been worried. But today, things took a wild turn…

Shortly after dinner with the families, this potential fiancee of mine suggested something to me that literally knocked the air out of my chest! She might be identified if I give details, so I will just say that it would fall under morals and values category.

Do I tell her “that’s most definitely not my way of doing things” and continue getting to know her, or just quietly walk away from this relationship if it truly bothers me?

Are you just making up stories ? Or is this a fantasy ?

[STA]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

In my opinion, you should start maintain distance from her.

Dont think it as joke. It is worst thing that happened in your life.

Remember, your spouse should have good moral and ethical values.

In your particular case, she is/was offering you a joy of few minutes but not the comfort of mind for the rest of life.

[Mirch]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

His job is done. He has made many of us curious and ran away.

[Zadeh]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

I think I should explain some more...

As an example of what happened would be, say you found out the person you were interested is massively into eating pork and you totally avoid pork. If this revelation came as a surprise, it would be like "What the..?!"

(What she said was of course a bigger thing than pork, but you get the point).

I know I'm a bit more strict on moral issues than my friends...so perhaps if loosen up a bit, I may not find this a troubling moral issue for me.

My driving question ... does it make sense to do this (lower a part of your moral criteria a bit to accomodate a potential love)?

[hareem01]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

I think I should explain some more...

As an example of what happened would be, say you found out the person you were interested is massively into eating pork and you totally avoid pork. If this revelation came as a surprise, it would be like "What the..?!"

(What she said was of course a bigger thing than pork, but you get the point).

I know I'm a bit more strict on moral issues than my friends...so perhaps if loosen up a bit, I may not find this a troubling moral issue for me.

My driving question ... does it make sense to do this (lower a part of your moral criteria a bit to accomodate a potential love)?

I think you know the answer very well.

No, you can't do it before nikah.

[Sohaib]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

dude, if everything else is great.. try talking to her and tell her how you see this issue. If I were you, I should see her as a normal human being first (with imperfections) and then as a potential love.

How she reacts to it when you communicate to her, will give you more insight on her personality and your potential relationship with her.

Have you considered the possibility that she may be testing YOU k how you react to such moral issues?

[partyslims]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

So she wants to pork you?

[hareem01]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

@partyslims

So she wants to pork you?

[STA]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

I think I should explain some more...

As an example of what happened would be, say you found out the person you were interested is massively into eating pork and you totally avoid pork. If this revelation came as a surprise, it would be like "What the..?!"

(What she said was of course a bigger thing than pork, but you get the point).

I know I'm a bit more strict on moral issues than my friends...so perhaps if loosen up a bit, I may not find this a troubling moral issue for me.

My driving question ... does it make sense to do this (lower a part of your moral criteria a bit to accomodate a potential love)?

No. It does'nt make sense.

[Mirch]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

No. It does'nt make sense.

yep it does not.

[eastern11]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

All I'll say is,ask her if she meant that seriously. And if the answer is yes then obviosuly the thing that bothers you will be a big problem. In taht case walk away.

[STA]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

All I'll say is,ask her if she meant that seriously. And if the answer is yes then obviosuly the thing that bothers you will be a big problem. In taht case walk away.

Do people joke like that?

[el_topo]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

OP, don't be coy.

I'm going to regret this..

So she wants to pork you?

No silly, she wants to 'eat' his pork.

[redvelvet]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

@el_topo

OP, don’t be coy.

I’m going to regret this..

No silly, she wants to ‘eat’ his pork.

LMAO!!!

[Gaia]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

I feel like you're talking about drinking. If it's something like that, don't avoid talking about it with her. Get to know her view point on it first, before thinking *you *may have to lower your morals.

[Nisha25]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

zadeh buddy don't be giving us no pork analogy, i think it's ok if you say exactly what was said instead of us assuming something and then giving you the wrong advice..........go on sirji, spill it

talking things out is therapeutic, plus we don't know you and you don't know anybody here...

[blessed2006]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

having sex? sorry zadeh thats what i can assume she must have said from your posts.

[mirage]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

I really doubt if we dont know him or he doesnt know anybody here, anyway.

OP, please please for your own honour and the honour of your last 7 generations, keep away from the monst i mean girl. im sure she is going to lay hands on your izzat next time. cut off all sorts of contacts with her. change your city and hide somewhere for as long as she hunts another bechara shikar for her inappropriate haram desires while you take a tasbeeh and do Allah Allah.

I hope it helps.

[mirage]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry – advice needed

p.S: On a serious note, what do you actually want to hear from us GS folks here? from eating pork to adultary/ premarital sex, we know its HARAM, in case you didnt. Or maybe you are up here for some Sphinx riddle?

I strongly request all chaskaybaz trolls be banned forever.

[partyslims]

Re: Incident today with a girl I might marry -- advice needed

OP, don't be coy.

I'm going to regret this..

No silly, she wants to 'eat' his pork.

bwahahaha I nearly spit out my coffee ahahaha

Ok, to the OP.. C'mon dude you're not a kid. If soemthing your potential fiance or whatever said to you made you so uncomfortable it "knocked the air out of your chest" then you should be a mature bloke and talk to her and tell her your concern. Find out what she meant etc I don't think anyone here will be able to tell you what's what without knowing the whole pic, so sort it out with her!