How much of an “arrange” marriage are you willing to have? Like I mean theres the whole baat paki to a complete stranger you’ve only heard about, which is arrange.
But once baat is paki and you guys exchange details, what is the minimum amount of exposure you are willing to have before you two are being wed off?
Exposure includes any and all form of communications. Telephone, email, daak, love letters wrapped around rocks flinged through windows, skype, skywriting, morsecode, braille, dating, whatsapp and any other medium you can possibly think of.
Obviously the time between baat paki and marriage is an important variable here so lets make it between 1-2 years.
I would like it as to how my parents arranged it. I wouldn't like to add him on Facebook. It will be too extreme for me. During telephone conversations, my mom will be there so I won't feel awkward talking to a complete stranger who my life just got arranged with. What is 'daak'? I would not do Skype either. What if I say something stupid and then the whole thing will be off and I'll get the blame. Better safe than sorry :|
phone calls, and may be add him on facebook (nothing to hide)
skype will be a no-no.
i will however feel uncomfortable if talking to him in front of mom :D
def no to skype. I hate phone in general and I sound like a giddy 10 yr old girl when I like a guy so probably no phone. I prefer email, tbh. I can reply when I want and I can think about my answer. But limited. I also get annoyed of people really fast when they're around me too much so talking everyday would make me hate him
this is very interesting! because when I met him talked to him for a while and then the ball was in my court.
The same day my dad told us to exchange emails and numbers, i was a bit hesitant but i didnt say anything as he was there.
He sent me a message first and then it kicked on from there, i replied to a minimum but he kept on asking me questions so we ended up having a long conversations. At first i though omg who the hell just disturbed my life (i hate messaging) i replied at a general level.
My dad is sooo different to me, he kept on saying you should meet each other, talk to each other and understand each other but i was too shy.
We met once after and then he started to call, so we talk to each other.
Yeh im not adding him on facebook, because i think thats a little too much!
But yes I everyone been telling me dont talk too much because things can go wrong. But how much is too much? And how do I tell him we cant talk too much?
this is very interesting! because when I met him talked to him for a while and then the ball was in my court.
The same day my dad told us to exchange emails and numbers, i was a bit hesitant but i didnt say anything as he was there.
He sent me a message first and then it kicked on from there, i replied to a minimum but he kept on asking me questions so we ended up having a long conversations. At first i though omg who the hell just disturbed my life (i hate messaging) i replied at a general level.
My dad is sooo different to me, he kept on saying you should meet each other, talk to each other and understand each other but i was too shy.
We met once after and then he started to call, so we talk to each other.
Yeh im not adding him on facebook, because i think thats a little too much!
But yes I everyone been telling me dont talk too much because things can go wrong. But how much is too much? And how do I tell him we cant talk too much?
When the questions breach your personal space or what you did before marriage, probably? Just a random guess :\
Accepted arranged marriage for me is one where your parents like someone for you and you also approve of them. You get to see them/talk to them atleast once twice and are comfortable with the proposal and hence precede with it.
I don’t believe in too much communication between the mangani/baat paki and marriage period :nono:, maybe a call every 2-3 days? i wouldnt mind communicating with him online thru chat (no video for sure) because i am not much of a talker otherwise. However i don’t believe in having too much communication before marriage like being on at each other 24/7. I think no matter how much you talk and spend time with each other b4 marriage it is not gonna tell you how he/she wl end up being after marriage, and whatever you can find out about them, their personality/habbits you can do so in less communication too. I think most of the times, too much communication has only caused more problems.
Seriously though , you do need to communicate guys... That's when you can tell your right for each other , meet as much as possible, talk over phone etc.. There is no such thing as too much communication!!!!
how are you going to survive being married soconfused? D;
I wonder the same thing...
but for reals: I think the rules that the elders came up with about minimum contact before shaadi was meant for people like me. If I can opt out of a relationship if I'm super annoyed then, I probably would. Whereas, when you're married you can't just leave a person because they're annoying you. Little things, in my experience, cause large , unnecessary problems in couples where they're not married. Whereas married couples are often able to cope with much larger problems. Just my take.
<---- thats all I can say