Re: In this day and age.
Immature people cause large, unnecessary problems.
Re: In this day and age.
^ so behtar kya hai 
u like company or you dnt 
Re: In this day and age.
:k:
Re: In this day and age.
How much of an "arrange" marriage are you willing to have? Like I mean theres the whole baat paki to a complete stranger you've only heard about, which is arrange.
But once baat is paki and you guys exchange details, what is the minimum amount of exposure you are willing to have before you two are being wed off?
Exposure includes any and all form of communications. Telephone, email, daak, love letters wrapped around rocks flinged through windows, skype, skywriting, morsecode, braille, dating, whatsapp and any other medium you can possibly think of.
Obviously the time between baat paki and marriage is an important variable here so lets make it between 1-2 years.
Generally if i were in this situation then i tend to be very communicative fella. So whatever it takes between me and her is comfortable i am ok with it.
Re: In this day and age.
why in the world would anyone have an arranged marriage????
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Well people have different preferences philo!. But i can't marry arranged yo..i don't know how people can be comfortable with short meetings. I mean..there is so much deception and lie makes me cringe...
Re: In this day and age.
I wonder the same thing...
but for reals: I think the rules that the elders came up with about minimum contact before shaadi was meant for people like me. If I can opt out of a relationship if I'm super annoyed then, I probably would. Whereas, when you're married you can't just leave a person because they're annoying you. Little things, in my experience, cause large , unnecessary problems in couples where they're not married. Whereas married couples are often able to cope with much larger problems. Just my take.
Honestly I think the rules that elders come up with are more about not being able to back out of the match.. People don't suddenly become more mature or responsible right after nikah, it's just harder to get away if you find out something you don't like.. There are loads of examples even on GS of elders desperately trying to keep couples together just for the sake of it (eg one partner has been cheated on or mistreated in some way)..
Btw isn't the key to sorting out misunderstandings more communication anyway.. if you can have a normal adult relationship with friends and work colleagues surely you should be able to speak without messing things up to your future husband or wife..
Re: In this day and age.
Enough communication to understand each other, as well as the option of backing out if both arent compatible.
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It works so differently per person/couple. You may have two people who are both not comfortable with too much communication, or have the two people who like to. But if one really likes to communicate and the other doesn’t, then it can be a problem. Both parties have to try and come to some kind of terms where they are both comfortable, which may mean one may have to communicate more than they like to, while the other may need to communicate less than they like to.
I need communication, and if I feel like it’s a constant struggle trying to talk to the person I like or whatever, it’s not gonna be a good feeling.
So, CM, please reply to my PM :hinna:
Re: In this day and age.
Honestly I think the rules that elders come up with are more about not being able to back out of the match.. People don't suddenly become more mature or responsible right after nikah, it's just harder to get away if you find out something you don't like.. There are loads of examples even on GS of elders desperately trying to keep couples together just for the sake of it (eg one partner has been cheated on or mistreated in some way)..
Btw isn't the key to sorting out misunderstandings more communication anyway.. if you can have a normal adult relationship with friends and work colleagues surely you should be able to speak without messing things up to your future husband or wife..
I agree with you for the most part but I guess what I mean is that, by nature, things that are minor are considered much bigger issues by people in general when you're engaged vs married. There's more "superficial" expectations that go with being engaged whereas the expectations of your husband/wife tend to be different. I think that enough communication to determine compatiblity is important but often times people turn the engagement period (even in arranged settings) into more of a dating situation and then "break up" like they would with a gf/bf.
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^K.. I see what u mean..
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I hate arranged marriages. But it provides a failsafe for forever alones like me, so I better get used to the idea. :)