Re: In this day and age
I’m not really familiar with any of this, but I never understood why weddings have to be very expensive (unless you mean jahez). What is all that money spent on?
Re: In this day and age
Yes, there is all that jahez. Which living in this society you can't always get away with. Then there's the cost of hosting the functions, catering, gifts etc. There is no escape from all that until we evolve as a society. If you're responsible for three or four weddings you'd be looking at a small fortune for an average government employee who lives paycheck to paycheck. And then we wonder why there's so much corruption.
Re: In this day and age
Yes, there is all that jahez. Which living in this society you can't always get away with. Then there's the cost of hosting the functions, catering, gifts etc. There is no escape from all that until we evolve as a society. If you're responsible for three or four weddings you'd be looking at a small fortune for an average government employee who lives paycheck to paycheck. And then we wonder why there's so much corruption.
Ah ok. I don't know, I've never been in touch with that part of the culture. I've heard about it now and then. I've heard of people spending almost 100k on a single function and I just thought they were insane for doing that. For mine we pulled everything off for a couple of thousand dollars, took a couple of months of saving perhaps, but we didn't need to take out any loans or anything of the sort. Then again, I'm a guy so it might have been different for me. That and we set out for something nice and simple.
Re: In this day and age
the truth is most sons do support their parents when the parents are incapable of supporting themselves.
To some extent you're right...
They do get financial support.
However, I see that the expectation does not lie with the sons...its usually with the DIL. She will cook, clean and do khidmat of her inlaws and thats why she is brought into the family to begin with.
So financially speaking some sons might support their parents but physically all the responsibility gets dumped on the DIL when its actually the son's responsibility.
Re: In this day and age
What with the drug-dealing, extravagant and senseless waste of money on materialistic BS to outdo one another, and poor investments that these 8th-grade-mentality boys around here are involved in, I dunno, I kind of am happy that I was not born with a piece of anatomy that fools me into thinking that somehow I'm better, smarter, faster, and more likely to not be weeded out by natural selection.
Where's the "Like" tab? :)
Re: In this day and age
So financially speaking some sons might support their parents but physically all the responsibility gets dumped on the DIL when its actually the son's responsibility.
You say that like the son comes home from work and locks himself in his room refusing to see his parents. Guys do what they can, when they can, when it comes to taking care of parents. I've never heard of a guy handing his dad a paycheck and saying 'here you go dad see you next month'.
Re: In this day and age
However, I see that the expectation does not lie with the sons...its usually with the DIL. She will cook, clean and do khidmat of her inlaws and thats why she is brought into the family to begin with.
I'm sure some people do that but I can only speak from my circle of friends, associates and relations. If the DIL is happy to go along with it, I ain't judging and if she isn't I won't judge her still (If she wasn't expected to begin with, its unfair to force someone to change their lifestyle). Generally speaking, things work out okay. Its as simple as that.
I've never heard of a guy handing his dad a paycheck and saying 'here you go dad see you next month'.
This too.
Re: In this day and age
Maybe my son will give me all his money and stay in my basement :D
Re: In this day and age
In pakistan recently i was told of a guy who after having 3 daughters, got a second wife. she gave birth to a girl a few months ago lol.
Re: In this day and age
After reading some of the posts here by women I pretty much agree the parents are bechare to have such daughters.
Man i am on a roll :D
Re: In this day and age
In pakistan recently i was told of a guy who after having 3 daughters, got a second wife. she gave birth to a girl a few months ago lol.
very sad
Re: In this day and age
mhmmmhm
Re: In this day and age
Yes, there is all that jahez. Which living in this society you can't always get away with. Then there's the cost of hosting the functions, catering, gifts etc. There is no escape from all that until we evolve as a society. If you're responsible for three or four weddings you'd be looking at a small fortune for an average government employee who lives paycheck to paycheck. And then we wonder why there's so much corruption.
QFT!!!!
just look at the wedding section of this forum...
Re: In this day and age
my parents have me and my bros, but i feel like i'll be the one taking care of my parents when they're old and aren't able to take care of themselves....
Re: In this day and age
It's not necessarily a stereotype.
If the girl's parents are poor or didn't save enough for their retirement
and
if the daughter thinks it's not her financial responsibility or if the daughter has a husband who doesn't let her help them financially
they sure are screwed.
Having zameendar/ feudal type of inlaws i have seen alot of instances when money has nothing to do with the haye baicharee ki betti ho gayee type of comments, my husbands younger brother has four daughters, at the birth of fourth daughter my sister in laws were crying, and most of my inlaws have university degrees so i dont think that we can link this to education either its more of a cultural thing for us that sadly has been inherited from being a part of India once.
PS. At the birth of daughter i bought gifts and the usual mithaee stuff to take to my inalws place...........and the wrath i had to face and the comments like is ko to kushi ho ge betta nahe hoya jaidad ka waris jo aa jata type of things, now i even cringe at the thought of buying meethai at anyones birth
Re: In this day and age
A lot of materialistic thoughts are floating around.
No those parents are not bechare. 
Most sons in eastern society do try to take care of their parents and to say they are attached to parents by umblical cord is just too much.
Parents need to be taken care off and not all eastern parents deliberately look for their sons to be providers. Many of them actually refuse.
DIL must go along with her husband to help her in laws and luckily a lot of them do for goodness of their hearts.
Concur with CM.
Re: In this day and age
[quote]
So financially speaking some sons might support their parents but physically all the responsibility gets dumped on the DIL when its actually the son's responsibility.
[/quote]
Her responsibility is what the husband tells her to do.. :ASA:
Re: In this day and age
Having zameendar/ feudal type of inlaws i have seen alot of instances when money has nothing to do with the haye baicharee ki betti ho gayee type of comments, my husbands younger brother has four daughters, at the birth of fourth daughter my sister in laws were crying, and most of my inlaws have university degrees so i dont think that we can link this to education either its more of a cultural thing for us that sadly has been inherited from being a part of India once.
PS. At the birth of daughter i bought gifts and the usual mithaee stuff to take to my inalws place...........and the wrath i had to face and the comments like is ko to kushi ho ge betta nahe hoya jaidad ka waris jo aa jata type of things, now i even cringe at the thought of buying meethai at anyones birth
Wow, that is sad. Assholes.
Re: In this day and age
.. there are still people who think like that! ...
Re: In this day and age
I don’t know what is the big fuss as they can marry their daughters to a tree or a quran that they have and keep the land within the family 