are desi parents with just daughters still “bechare” or is the stereotype changing or has it not and it shall never go away?
look what happens when i cant sleeepsadma
Re: In this day and age
my parents still get to hear "haye haye beta nahi hai!"
era , education , awareness etc don't necessarily change thinking of people.
Re: In this day and age
I don't think many are considered "bechare" in the same way, but for people always wish for the experience of having both. We feel bad for people with only boys too, even tho those boys and people are wonderful and happy. It's just nice to have both.
Re: In this day and age
It's not necessarily a stereotype.
If the girl's parents are poor or didn't save enough for their retirement
and
if the daughter thinks it's not her financial responsibility or if the daughter has a husband who doesn't let her help them financially
they sure are screwed.
Re: In this day and age
^ there is no guarantee that a son would be a financial support to his parents in their old age.
infact we humans can only think and plan otherwise there is no guarantee for anything ....like they say man proposes God disposes. I know an uncle who did business from his retirement money and is now making millions he has all sons and no daughter and to date he is the one who is giving financial support to sons and sons are no way near to become the bread earners of the family. If God wants you to be financially stable in your old age He will create a source for you.
Re: In this day and age
^I fully agree with what you say about sons.
And if extended, my response will apply to those parents who have no sons or useless sons.
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pure ignorance, especially since daughters were so beloved to the Prophet (s.a.w).
pfft!! people
Re: In this day and age
In my social circle, Ive met very very very few people who think this way.
Recently though, I have run into a family who believes that larki walay jhuk jhuk ke milte hein. They think if Mr Khawand says “biwi, you better not move!”…she better not move. A woman should leave her family and never look back. A woman is the property of her susraal. A woman should cook, clean and bear kids as soon as is physically possible.
I cannot tell you what was going through my mind when this woman was talking. On one hand, I wanted to slap her and on the other hand I realized that such a person cannot possibly be worth any emotion spent on them. It was so difficult to listen to her…
I come from a family of four sisters…yeah I take it a bit personally.
SO what ended up happening is I said something really mean (I later regretted it kind of because she obviously is mentally unstable and I shouldnt be talking to people like that period) and then completely ignored her for the rest of the evening.
Re: In this day and age
There’s also no guarantee a disgruntled artist will become a fascist leader and start a global war while committing horrible atrocities against others… Wait… Didn’t that one happen already? :hinna:
My response was exaggerated but goes to show your statement your argument is a fallacy when we talk about the majority, there is no guarantee for or against anything. While I’ve witnessed otherwise too, the truth is most sons do support their parents when the parents are incapable of supporting themselves. And that is what Jojo was implying I’m guess. Its all about the numbers.
I do think the stereotype is changing. I think it has to do with awareness and exposure to other parents who are happy with their daughters being successful and helping. AlhamdliAllah in my social circle (Family and friends) its not so.
Re: In this day and age
**My response was exaggerated but goes to show your statement your argument is a fallacy **when .
What I posted was my opinion anybody may or may not agree with it. If you don't agree with me please keep your precious thoughts to yourself and don't judge my statements by calling them "fallacy"
I would ignore any response that would now come from you in reply of this post of mine . peace!
Re: In this day and age
Sadly Most of Parents Have this Thinking 
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Someone’s having a rough day!
I’m awfully stubborn dearie! There’s this thing with a public forum that… Well, its public. By your logic you shouldn’t have replied to any other poster! So don’t fret, take a breather I’ll go easy on you 
Re: In this day and age
What with the drug-dealing, extravagant and senseless waste of money on materialistic BS to outdo one another, and poor investments that these 8th-grade-mentality boys around here are involved in, I dunno, I kind of am happy that I was not born with a piece of anatomy that fools me into thinking that somehow I'm better, smarter, faster, and more likely to not be weeded out by natural selection.
Re: In this day and age
While I've witnessed otherwise too, the truth is most sons do support their parents when the parents are incapable of supporting themselves.
Even though its ALLAH SWT that supports everyone. but still how much monthly allowance and time do the son give when their parents are incapable of supporting themselves? :p
Re: In this day and age
Zobia, most desi kids are still tied to their parents by umbilical cords, so they give and give and give to their parents whatever they possibly can, sometimes at the expense of their own spouse and children.
That's the one thing our community has covered. They take decent care of their parents.
Now, how they treat everyone else, is an issue up for debate.
Re: In this day and age
Zobia, most desi kids are still tied to their parents by umbilical cords, so they give and give and give to their parents whatever they possibly can, sometimes at the expense of their own spouse and children.
That's the one thing our community has covered. They take decent care of their parents.
Now, how they treat everyone else, is an issue up for debate.
PCG, you are talking about the circumstances where elder son leaves the country for his family, that was surviving on pension or sister's tuition. who sends money even after things get better, cuz back in his mind things are still the same. i am sure you are aware that the older we get the more nostalgic we become.
here i am talking about the son which are neither mama's boy nor nakhatu-kaam choor. i am talking about simple, normal guy living with his parents, or near his parents (same city/country). honetly, how much time and money do they give to their parents.
ps. most of the pakistani parents prefer save so later in the life they dont have to ask their children for any kind of financial support.
Re: In this day and age
in my opinion it’s not always the son who don’t support his parents daughter’s too do not support. Just because they are born as female they are not free from all the responsibilities. Allah has never said that only sons should take care of parents Allah has told aulaad / children to take care of parents and that includes both sons and daughters.
sorry to deviate from the topic:halo:
Re: In this day and age
Even though its ALLAH SWT that supports everyone. but still how much monthly allowance and time do the son give when their parents are incapable of supporting themselves?
Sure Allah does provide for all of us but it is up to us to reach out for His blessings :p
I cannot speak for everyone but from people around me, the parents are provided homes, people to look after them, transport and often share time with their children. Sure enough the same people are great with others too. Another point though, these parents have accumulated plenty to pass on to their children but I suppose with Asians its just how it goes. I think you're a caring enough person to look after your parents, you'll do the same for others too. And I think that goes for both men and women.
As to the OP I think its a changing stereotype. I'm sure its only mostly the uneducated segments of society that feel like that. I know plenty of successful women and their parents are very proud of the fact (My sisters included MashaAllah). Eventually though its bound to change because gender split is shifting really quickly on average. It will take time but I'm sure it'll happen at some point. Just be happy if your parents don't think the same way.
Re: In this day and age
I agree with princessjojo here. It’s not always a stereotype. In a country like Pakistan where the middle class has relatively low income, parents with only daughters (and they usually have 4 or 5 since they tried so hard for a son 
) have their work cut out to get them all married. The expense involved would break anyone’s back and they end up spending all their life savings on their daughters’ weddings. From the few examples I’ve come across in real life, I’ve seen the dads working late into their 60s and 70s, well past retirement age, because they have no savings left and they have no financial support. This isn’t supposed to be offensive to the female gender, just the harsh reality for commonfolk here in Pakistan.
I would like to add that those who managed to put their daughters through good education do end up getting some form of financial support from their daughters. More women are working and are just as willing to contribute the family income. However for the overall (middle/lower class) majority, having only daughters still means a hard life, saving/penny pinching as they grow up, spending it all on their weddings, followed by a hard retirement.
Re: In this day and age
are desi parents with just daughters still "bechare" or is the stereotype changing or has it not and it shall never go away?
look what happens when i cant sleeep*sadma*
I haven't seen anyone who thinks like that only based on the fact that someone just has girls. What I have seen/sensed etc. is that if girls are doing something wrong, somehow it becomes a bigger deal than if guys are. So perhaps in this kind of case, but I haven't seen that attitude otherwise.