In need of good advice (inlaws)

[Reha]

Re: In need of good advice (inlaws)

@Theorist

Thanks! I have been fighting with myself the whole time. I don’t really care about the word Marriage but my husband is my first priority and has always been. He knows I have sacrificed wayyy more than just my lifestyle for him. He understands very well and tries to make up for it but I feel this weird change inside me and I am not liking it. I am just incredibly irate and feel very negative now about a lot of things. I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. I don’t know how to stop pretending. It’s like pretending to be someone else is becoming my reality. Even though my husband understands this, what would happen if it comes to a point that he loses his love and respect for me? What and who will i have done all this for? You see what i am saying..damned if i do damned if i don’t..If i move out, he will resent me. If i stay here, i will resent LIFE itself- let alone just inlaws. I can compromise and become the person i have been pretending to be or be true to myself like you said and lose my husband’s love possibly? I would rather pretend all my life but how do I stay sane? arghhh..

My two cents are basically that you need to set some goals and work towards them slowly. You’ve only been married for a year and you cant expect him to change his entire life for you right away. Give yourselves some time to get there.

Please stop pretending to be anyone but yourself. Some people may throw stones at me for saying this but its best everyone stays exactly who they are so they can adjust. Your MIL doesnt know the real you so you cant expect her to understand who you are. Its not her fault and from what you’re saying…she is simply doing her part in her home.

Also, start taking some responsibility in the house and act like its your home. Thats the only thing that can help you stay sane…you have to make an effort to make that home yours too. It cant just be handed to you on a platter…who will do that? If your MIL had turned over the entire house to you after marriage, your thread would be about “my MIL doesnt do **** around the house and expects me to do it all”. Your MIL treats you like a child because right now you’re behaving like a school-girl. You wake up, go to work, come home and sit in your room. I did that when I was in uni. Your opinion will carry a lot more weight once you’re taken seriously and that wont happen until you take your role in that home seriously.

If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one.