YESTERDAY, I found myself in a rather ironic position. Raised in England in a close-knit family with traditional Pakistani values, with two older (very protective) brothers, most of you can imagine the kind of ideologies that would form a girl’s foundation. As I grew up, I discovered increasingly liberating amounts of information about Islām and, by the time I went to university, I had begun to pull apart the sticky layers between culture and Islām and adhere uncompromisingly to the latter. To an extent, this reflects the developing attitudes of a great portion of our generation of Muslims. It seemsto me that more Muslim women are identifying their Islamic rights. In specific, the ‘right to work’. We find many women working to take on, and even conquering offices, the business world, courtrooms, hospitals, politics and newspapers, primarily (but not always) with Khadija (ra) as an inspiration/justification, and with what effect on our men?! …MashaAllah!
And then.
It’s that time of my season when ‘it’s my turn’ to get married. Yesterday, considering another proposal, something stood out to me in an incredibly awkward and confusing manner: what happened to my right not to work? The majority of proposals we’ve had to consider include the criterion- the potential wife should be a professional- she should work. But I don’t want to work. Why should I work. (Note, that does not have a question mark.) I won’t drown the faith of my right with a list of man-made (woman-made), fallible, circumstantial justifications of my right not to work. It is my right, regardless. Full stop. By Allah, I am not simply doing this to be contradictory- I do not find that empowering in any way. It’s just- is it just me or do more Muslim men want a working wife? What does this mean for the Muslim family unit? How does this collaborate with the increasing amount of research (for those to whom it is not already obvious) declaring that most children prefer to find their Mummies at home and to spend as much time as possible with them? And the research that declares that more men (non-Muslim!) wish they could get married and settle down with someone to build a family and home? What’s going on?
I realise that in speaking about the circles I am aware of, I may have made sweeping generalisations here, I do not mean this to reflect on everyone, and I ask forgiveness if I have offended anyone. This is, sincerely, not a call for argument. This is a call for help in understating these trends. And why is my Islamic right *not *to work being suffocated?
Sorry abeera...due to fonts and vernada not working in your post...still i not understand...do you want to work...or do you not want to work...can you plz... explain in shortlines....thankyou
"But I don’t want to work. Why should I work. (Note, that does not have a question mark.) I won’t drown the faith of my right with a list of man-made (woman-made), fallible, circumstantial justifications of my right not to work. It is my right, regardless. Full stop."
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And why is my Islamic right *not *to work being suffocated?
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No, this is not the case. You are just dramatizing the situation. There are many muslim guy who want their wife to be home maker.
Btw, by saying 'I dont want to work' you mean you dont want to work outside your home ( job, business etc ) and or does it mean you dont wana work at all and live life like a princess ?. In later case you need to move back to Pakistan and marry some 'wadera' who can afford some few dozen servents for you.
In former case you must not say it that ' I dont want to work'. ok fine but dont say it. Just keep quite. Because it is a negative statement and shows that you are a *HadHaraam *( Lazybum).
House wife has to go through so much labour and hard work. Bearing children and raising them is it self a full time job and it is more difficult than any 9-5 job.
So if you want to have children then you will have to work, like it or not :p
no...i think abeera...as i know her from her pots...very sensible and very high degree of knowledge in islam as her subject...she just want to be good house -wife...dealing all matters of homes in an excellent manner...am i right abeera...?
no...i think abeera...as i know her from her pots...very sensible and very high degree of knowledge in islam as her subject...she just want to be good house -wife...dealing all matters of homes in an excellent manner...am i right abeera...?
I had told begum to go to med school so I could retire, but she had noble aspirations to shape young minds as an educator. I still tried to convincxe her to go into pediatric neuro-surgery since in that case she would be shaping young minds too, but it was a no go.
abay hanso matt, its too late for us, but we can still fight for thr rights of our sons and brothers!!!!! burn those jockstraps, boxers and briefs....lets freedom rule..free balling (commando) is the way to go. none of the societal expectations.
end this oppression of men having to deal with the expectation of being the bread winner, we die sooner globally as compared to women, because of the toll all that stress takes.
I had told begum to go to med school so I could retire, but she had noble aspirations to shape young minds as an educator. I still tried to convincxe her to go into pediatric neuro-surgery since in that case she would be shaping young minds too, but it was a no go.
sigh
PS: prove that women have a "right" not to work
:) Yes, you do have a point, alhamdulillah. I guess my phrasing 'right not to work' was rather off. I should have said 'the right for the husband to be the protector and maintainer'. *Of course, if neccessity compelled me, it would be incorrect not to work. *All I am trying to point out is that there is a significant increase, in my knowledge, of men who prefer their wives to have a job and contribute financially.
^ aray bahna ..mai nai aik thread shoori ki Lifesyles mai "but we have ruined our generations....".......uuf khuda....tufan tha ya zalzala....:D every girl opposed me except hareem and one more girl...i forget her name .....they gave me fundamentalist..narrow-minded...falana ..tamkeena..etc etc ...:D
thanks allah you are also of the same view as me...thankyou bahna :)
yes...very nice answer...if necessity compels anyone...as its very difficult now-a-days to fulfil thier needs by just husband pay...so wife ..if necessary within shariah rulings prescribed...though difficult to carry on as there is no segreggation of sexes in our Pakistani or your Uk society....after all she should help him....
am i right sister...because i have not much knowledge about shariah and islam but being your subject ...you have a excellent command over it ?
As far as I know, I believe this is correct. Logically, it would be better for the wife to find an appropriate avenue of work to contribute financially, rather than face extreme hardship. There are definitely ways she can work within the prescribed framework of Islam, without breaching conditions. There are many jobs that can be done from home, alhamdulillah. This is one reason that education, or at least knowledge of a particular skill is very important to cultivate. May Allah protect us all from hardship, but we never know what He may test us with tomorrow.
(and I definitely don't have an excellent command, maybe one day inshaAllah :) main to aap sab se hi seekh rahi hon :) )
you most welcome....
actually it was about the working women...i give my opinion...as a house as the best institution of a small child...so a mother can give that love and affection and education to a child ...aya or some maid-servant or baby-sitter cannot do that...so women should look after the house instead of job "IF NOT FINANCIAL PROBLEM " ....but girls opposed that very much..many boys also....
but i give them the point that "nation buliding is far important than dollar making".....