My daughter confessed me that she is in love with someone who is from an enemy family. She is aware of the situation but bit blinded by love. I tried to explain the situation but she want to at least give it a try. She is betting on the guy to force his parents for Rishta then through the ball in our court.
A bit background here, they know each other during good times (past 7 years), I was aware of the relationship but did not objected then (partially taken her words that there is nothing between them but a normal friendship), but suddenly relationship between families went sour due to a divorce (my brother divorced their niece)
The family is very rich and powerful at least in Karachi, I am torn between respecting wish of my child and fear for her future in that household in case of marriage and they decided use her for revenge.
The best thing to do is to thoroughly observe (or if you already know it from experience) their character/values as a family. Also try to see if the guy loves your daughter as well, and how's he as a person. Hopefully he's pursuing the relationship with a clean heart, and in that case you won't see much trouble from his side in the future insha'Allah.
You must also find out if that family is in the favor of this rishta. Are they even willing to come forward? how do they behave in conjunction with the old issues?
I can understand your hesitation, this kind of thing happens a lot in desi families where divorced families become enemies of a sort.
I guess the best thing to do is see the guy your daughter is in love with. See if he is a good person and willing to live separately to avoid any ill will or hostility towards your daughter.
Actually they are related to us, there are so many inter family marriages, they tried seek revenge with my sister (married to one of their close relative) but BIL was sense able enough to refuse to destroy his family.
It is long distance relationship (she is Singapore and he in Pakistan). I have no doubt about clean intention of the boy, i even heard that he attended my mothers funeral secretly.
But the problem with so called filthy rich family that their lives depend on family fortune and thus could easily blackmailed by threat of cutting off. The family has business empire including hotel, Shaadi Halls, petrol pumps construction and huge land bank in in Karachi.
Is he going to take risk of this huge fortune for her sake?
They were cohesive family, but there are rumors of crack happening. I noticed the guys father (he was aware of his sons interest) kept a distance during whole drama of divorce, but i should not read too much in it.
I would hesitate to be with a family that has so much power and money. If someone can give u a good life....they also have hte power to ruin your life as well...not a risk i'd want to take.
Rich and powerful people are scary.
Tipu, if you are unable to convince your daughter then clearly there is no choice left but to play along her wishes whilst keeping an eagles eye on that family's behaviour and actions.
The thing is , your daughter might rebel immensely if you say a direct no to her. However if you do give it an honest try and supposing she gets let down by the guy or his family , during the proposal process then at least she will come back to you and you wont lose her completely.
As a good father you are doing the right thing suspecting that family's intentions, please try to meet with the guy yourself and try to find out how he will go about convincing his family. As namaan said above, at the end of the day , they are family and this incident might only join everyone in happiness , if Allah wills it.
Otherwise , your best weapon is to deal with the guy directly and make sure you keep your daughter upto date with it all. If you suspect then that they are cooking an evil plan , there are chances your daughter will be able to see through it ,with your help.