in laws

So how many women have issues with their husbands going and buying stuff for his side of the family (which the wives think is excessive) and how many men have the same issue ?

Re: in laws

:chai:

Re: in laws

well the thing is if i hadn't put that in then everyone would be like oh my husband gives stuff and i'm all happy with it ... and no one would say that yeah i have issues with my husband giving stuff to his part of the familial

Re: in laws

pleej enlist all item which you and your shohar sahab bought for your respective family members. we cant give you advice until detail description of each item with price tag is provided. :D

Re: in laws

STA if ur msg is for me then i'm a guy and not married ...

Re: in laws

:flowers: i m sorry.

like you said you are not married therefore my opinion is also generalized in your case. It depends(flexibility/love/understandability) on both spouses and how they look financial matter as one entity.

Re: in laws

I kno STA i understand that ... thats why i asked for an individual answer on how many men/women think that their respective spouses spend a lot (in their opinion) on their family.

Re: in laws

I don't have an issue with this, in fact I help him pick out what to buy but I also know where his priorities lie, him sending $$ to anyone or buying gifts for anyone isn't affecting us negatively, so it doesn't bother me.

But I understand why there are women who DO have an issue with it, mostly because either those in-laws never give anything in return or their own families are suffering while those other family members get expensive stuff.

Re: in laws

No issue at all.

Im the one who buys gifts for both sides of the family...

Re: in laws

My situation is kinda opposite, he gets angry at me for buying stuff for his family! He never sends money to his parents in Pak, except on eid, and for this i am constantly telling him off. He is the only son, and his parents deserve to be supported by him.

Re: in laws

Well I guess it would be anger-worthy if the gifts were at the expense of wife and kids. There are families out there like that - they don't believe in prioritizing their wife and kids.

Re: in laws

no issue at all at both sides.

Re: in laws

No issue with us too. In fact with my husband's busy schedule, I take care of it for the most part. My husband is more active when buying things for his family, maybe not as active for my family but I am fine with that. I have the authority to buy whatever I want for whoever I want.

Re: in laws

My husband is not a big spender, period (!) so it has not really ever been an issue. when he does buy stuff for his mom, he always would reciprocate and buy something the same or of equal value for my mom too (i.e. jewelry for them when our kids were born). He also helped my parents out financially on his own, without me knowing many times.

Likewise, if i see something i think my MIL would like/need, I'll pick it up for her on my own.

When his sister had her first baby (after 15 years of marriage!) i was the one who did ALL the shopping and went overboard, he kept telling me not to spend so much, and I told him to stay out of it, lol!

So this has never been an issue in our marriage, alhamdullilah.

But yes, I do know of some couples who do fight over this topic..it's silly in my opinion.

Re: in laws

allhumdullah... we never have issue, i m the one who is buying the gifts mostly, n it always like i m buying gifts for ladies and huby buying gifts for gents.
and normally v get the same things for my family and huby's family.

Re: in laws

No issue at all, we both decide budget and we both know how much money we will spend on gifts.

Re: in laws

I have left the shopping department for her (or perhaps she took over :rolleyes: ). She does the shopping for both the “sides” and she has been reasonable pretty much every-time. Never gave me a reason to complain.

sara jhagra hee mera-taira ka hota hai. Once you get over that, life is good.

:chai:

Re: in laws

alll sati savitris and savatras are on GS ... or maybe no one wants to put their hand up that they have issues

Re: in laws

We have a tit for tat kind of relationship. If I tend to spend more, he'd do the same and vice versa.

Re: in laws

Why are you so upset, people do have normal relationships, I have friends who support their husbands. Another thing is how husband handle the situation.