Like you all know i go to Pakistan in January.
after 6 years after my marriage.
And ive seen that if you don’t have any child after
a year or 2 years they start to ask why you don’t have
a child. I really wonder sometime’s why such so a hurry
to have kids. Anywayz ive marry my husband for 6 years
and we don’t have any kids .
NOw my mother in law says over and over again when i was
theire some pplz have 3 or 4 kids after 6 years marriage
and you don’t have one all pplz ask me if i have a child.
So i told her calm that not all womens get pregnant about a
month of about a year it depents.
But she said no and she repeat what she said before.
I think she thinks i dont want a child.
I feel very sad if she repeat that i have a child now
coz im married for 6 years and a child is a must.
But what can i do? Ab yeh Allah Ke marzi bhi hai
ke woh muje kab ek ulaad denge.
I pray everyday to Allah to give me a child.
Coz my Parents in law said also to me if you come
to Pakistan again you have to have a child with you.
Ab mein kya karoon they think im God or something.
And they really think that I dont want a child.
but i really want one.
What would you do if you had such parents in law like
mine?
Tell me.
Nilu ive been married for almost two years.. an umm i have inlaws an my side of family as well hintin for a baby.. but i tell them its not up to me.. its ALLAH’s merzi.. jus tell them to pray for u from their hearts and Inshallah ALLAH will bless u with childrens
pata nahi kyon log bhool jaten hain ke ALLAH mian ki maerzi hoti hai in cheezon main. jus dont take it to ur heart hunny, taane dene se phel log yeh bhool jaten hain ke unke age bhi aulaad hai..
i can understand ur worries..look my chachi also did not had any child for nearly 8 years and my dadi and all my Puppies use to ask her that she donot wanna have child and tease her so much but at least she got her first child 8 years after marriage and now all there Mouth r closed...
Kids (and I should know) eat too much, take up valuable time, take up alot of valuable space and make lots and lots of unnecessary noise.
They demand things with extortionate prices and insist upon making your life a misery.
Trust me, as a kid, you should enjoy your life without one.
I think what your in-laws need more than a grand child is an education. This jahaalat attitude of demanding grandchildren as if it were even their business needs to stop in our culture. What happens between a husband and wife stays between them, no one else need concern themselves.
I know that you probably won't, but if my in-laws or parents behaved that way, which they don't, I would have problems telling them that it is none of their business.
I think it's a pity that your husband lets this sort of behaviour from your in-laws continue.
whether its personal choice to delay having a kid, or other circumstances, it is your business. Your husband should tell his parents to back off, because I am fairly certain if your folks started asking him why he has no kids he would not like it right?
Some people want to wait, some people have situations with education and career that they just cant have kids, and for some it may take some time. Frankly your inlaws need to back off, and if their excuse is that other relatives are asking, then it is your inlaws responsibility to tell them that you guys will have kids when the time is right.
Aahmed & Fraudz Thanks for your're Support.
But that's not all they always say Allah tuje Beta dein.
I hate that if they say that.
I always think what Allah give me i will be happy
more important is that my baby is healthy.
My In laws also say a Beta is a must when they said
that i had lots of tension i thought what if i get 2
daughters they will force me to have another child.
And i also don't understand why my Husband don't support me
i was by my one come up for my self.
Sometime's i think i wish i never get married.
But Anywayz thanks again Aahmed Fraudia and other PPlz
That's really sad, Nilu. People need to realize the value of God's creations and not take any for granted. Hopefully, your inlaws mean well. But you can't let their way of thinking get you down. If you are meant to have children, you will. My mamoon and mumani did not have kids until 15 years after their marriage. Everyone thought they would not be able to have kids. Then they had two, mashAllah. Allah knows better than we will. Just pray that you always have a happy healthy family. Your inlaws will inshAllah realize the value of this. In the meantime, don't let what they say affect you negatively.
Nilu: Logg always talk no matter what. I know someone who has one daughter & been married for 12 years. Even then people say to her why don’t you have another kid. Ab this is Allah ki marzi but logg uffff…
My heart goes out to you and Inshallah, all will be fine. I dont understand the problem though - do you want to have a baby and it hasnt happened yet? Or are you waiting because there are other things in your life?
If you're trying and it hasnt happened, you should see a fertility specialist. If you are under age 35, they say to wait about 9 mos to a year before seeking the help of a specialist. If you are over 35, you shouldnt wait more than 6 mos. I worked for a nationally known fertility specialist for a year and had fertility problems myself so if youd like more info, please feel free to ask. But if this is the case and the in-laws are making a stressful situation even worse, you can tell them that 70 percent of the time, fertility problems are related to the male. My fertility doc wouldnt treat me - even knowing that I had a definite hormone deficiency - until my husband was tested. This is because its typically a problem on the male side that prevents pregnancy. You can explain this to the inlaws too, they should just LOVE that but its true and they should get embarrassed enough to drop it for a while.
If its the case that you want to wait, well thats something that your husband needs to explain to your inlaws, they're his parents so it should be his responsibility.
I wish you the very best of success for either situation!
tell them your husband is impotent, that should shut them up real good. and tell all their friends the same thing too. in-laws should also be given a chance to get as good tannas as they give!
my gf and i r having our first kid. we've been together 8 years and we never wanted kids and we still don't. they're a blody pain n an added expense. my gf in fact even wanted to abort this one but then decided against it coz she don wan 2 b a "murderer". i'm all for whatever she wants, she's da 1 carrying da pain afterall. our folks want us 2 get married for "izzat" and oder BS. we don't care bout cultural formalities n family n shyt n r career professionals n people hate us being blunt bout it, so i say, to hell with them. let people deal with their own shyt first. we had safe sex for 8 years coz we enjoy each oder n unnerstand each oder, n after this kid is born i'm going for a vasectomy so the same mistayke don't hapin agin. i meen, if we vant more kids l8r we ken alwayz adopt cant we? derz enuf 2 go around.
ven people hurd we din have no kids 4 8 yrs dey thot my gf was infertile (haramis) coz she's reel petite, n she turned da tables on em by sayin i was da infertile one... n u know how desi asses r, dey jus shut up 1ce u pin a fault on a guy coz men r suppozed 2 be godz in our society n wemen jus there 2 tayke every1z crap. we reely enjoyed telling loudmouth desiz dat. now ve r havin dis kid n people r so "happy" for us. i told em asses come change the blody diaperz 4 us if u r so blody happy 4 us, n send da damn thing 2 college too with 200k in loans jus ven u plan 2 retire. desiz r a bunch o hypocritez.
jus tel yr in-laws 2 bugger off n dat u wanna go marry a fertile stud if dey want kids so much. dat'll show em.
[QUOTE] Originally posted by 7531598246: *
tell them your husband is impotent, that should shut all *their friends the same thing too. in-laws should also be si asses desiz r a bunch o hypocritez..........................................................
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This is not even acceptable in any culture including the beloved western culture. Yes ! your case is very common in this society but not acceptable. Welfare may look after yr case but its not acceptable to the society no matter how you see it. You certainly dont care !! thats fine.
Welfare will look after you etc etc..,,,, You never once mentioned in yr post about the feelings and life and future of the new born to-be ...
You obviousley had a bad experience out of life.
i find this whole post very disturbing. i guess i am just too traditional.
[QUOTE] Originally posted by 7531598246: *
tell them your husband is impotent, that should shut them up real good. and tell all *their friends the same thing too. in-laws should also be given a chance to get as good tannas as they give!
my gf and i r having our first kid. we've been together 8 years and we never wanted kids and we still don't. they're a blody pain n an added expense. my gf in fact even wanted to abort this one but then decided against it coz she don wan 2 b a "murderer". i'm all for whatever she wants, she's da 1 carrying da pain afterall. our folks want us 2 get married for "izzat" and oder BS. we don't care bout cultural formalities n family n shyt n r career professionals n people hate us being blunt bout it, so i say, to hell with them. let people deal with their own shyt first. we had safe sex for 8 years coz we enjoy each oder n unnerstand each oder, n after this kid is born i'm going for a vasectomy so the same mistayke don't hapin agin. i meen, if we vant more kids l8r we ken alwayz adopt cant we? derz enuf 2 go around.
ven people hurd we din have no kids 4 8 yrs dey thot my gf was infertile (haramis) coz she's reel petite, n she turned da tables on em by sayin i was da infertile one... n u know how desi asses r, dey jus shut up 1ce u pin a fault on a guy coz men r suppozed 2 be godz in our society n wemen jus there 2 tayke every1z crap. we reely enjoyed telling loudmouth desiz dat. now ve r havin dis kid n people r so "happy" for us. i told em asses come change the blody diaperz 4 us if u r so blody happy 4 us, n send da damn thing 2 college too with 200k in loans jus ven u plan 2 retire. desiz r a bunch o hypocritez.
jus tel yr in-laws 2 bugger off n dat u wanna go marry a fertile stud if dey want kids so much. dat'll show em.
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Nilu! don't take them serious , just ignore them .I can understand how you feel because one of my aunti was facing the same situaton .They don't have kids until 16 yrs and now this year they have mahsAllah twins one baby girl and boy mashAllah .
But the most important is how coperative and understanding your hubby is ? Because now you are his responsibilty and he must have to take care of you and he is the only one who can keep their mouth shut.
But don't worry Nilu InshAllah everything will be Okay InshAllah you will get through this testing time.My prayers are with you always:-)
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