In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

BIL and SIL have already had their honeymoons and have 3 kids each !

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Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

thn u wud be on the bad side of your family....they'll sunao u baatein about how rude and batameez you are...for cancellin the trip after it took so long for your husband to get chootiyaan

23

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Can't your husband speak to his brother and sister and appeal to their sympathies? Why don't they understand?

I really think that the fault lies most in your husband for being so afraid to speak honestly to them. It's worse too that he goes behind their backs and says to you that he wishes that they weren't coming. He needs to kindly explain why you guys would like this brief trip early in your marriage to be private, and then perhaps you guys could plan right now for a family trip in the near future.

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Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

So they went on honmeymoon alone? Or took the family, neighbours etc etc... how inconsiderate!

Yeah and they have 3 kids each so they have been married a while right?

DUH - can't they understand that you are a NEWLY married couple...not celebrating your 25th wedding anniversary!
This winds me up!!

25

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

it would be better for them than tolerating my 'sooja hua bootha' in the entire trip as i wont naturally feel good at all !!it wud be a waste of time and $$$ otherwise!!

26

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

to me this seems like a total wind up, i mean how can anyone seriously think it is ok to gate crash someone else's honeymoon?! Don't they have any manners?! it's is so rude it actually makes me angry and i'm not prototype!!!

if ur family is so selfish and rude to suggest it, let alone actually plan it, there seems little point in reasoning with such unreasonable people....

don't they know what couples 'do' on their honeymoon?!

27

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

just go on this trip and make ur husband take you for a weekend away at a really luxurious, romantic, expensive hotel/spa not too far from home... you won't need time off for that and make him do it a few times so that you get your full honeymoon time out of it!!!!

have words with your hubby that ur not happy etc. it's not a good sign that he already isn't sticking up for you!!!!

28

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

but what about loyalty to the wife? and she’s the new wife too!

honestly prototype, if your hubby doesnt speak, maybe you should consider talking to your sister in law, woman to woman. tell her this is your time and you’d prefer to spend it alone with him. if your hubby is too afraid to speak up now, whats gonna happen later on in life? also if he is too afraid to speak up on his own, why dont you both approach them together? that way you’ll have each other to back you up, and as it’ll be coming from both of you, they might understand it better, and neither one of you would be help responsible individually. is there no other elder in the family who could shame them into staying behind? great uncles, grandfathers, anyone?

29

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

they went alone when it was their turn

30

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Use some common uncle or aunty who will not give yours and your husband's name and directly talk to your FIL/MIL/BIL/SIS and put some sense in them.

31

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

somegroovychick: you are not talking about guys living and brought-up in a typical desi combined family system where all the elder women~(and men secretly) will turn against them on their faces if they give the smallest sign that he's favouring his wife and 'abu se biwi kay neechay laga hua hai'.. i remember my youngest SIL telling me that i dont remember a single occasion when i went out alone with my husband even to the grocery store !! and they are married for 8 years.. i was not born or brought up here in pakistan but i have known and seen many such fmilies..i always used to feel sorry for them but never knew that i would be a part f this system one day !

32

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

i dont have any such 'sincere' uncles/aunties as i am married in a totally stranger family..and i dont want to make an issue out of it..it's useless to 'moonh lagana' to such irreasonable people!!

33

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Both you and your husband make it seem like there's absolutely no civil way out of this situation. That's too bad. I suppose all we can do is commisserate. Our advice is useless.

I hope you have a happy trip and a peaceful and content future with your husband.

34

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Yes, but it's not some small matter.
If you continue like this, how are you going to move forward as a couple in your relationship.
When will you have the time to bond? When will you discover each other?

I have just recently learnt that I can't be doing with this type of treatment from Inlaws (with me it's over powering sil) and I have been married 5 years!
So I have put foot down and now we have us time, we go away alone, we go for days out alone, evenings out etc.....and it's great....before it was always fri/sat night at sis in laws and everywhere we went we had to ask her if she wanted to come.....

Somehow Allah came me the courage to make the change and I am thankful for that

35

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Well you can either grin and bear it or take the situation into your own hands and try to resolve it with as much diplomacy as this sorry situation allows.....

perhaps tell all the in-laws that you decided not to go since it turned into a family trip rather than a romantic honeymoon getaway with your husband. And while a family trip is a lovely thing, you want to save your vacation time this year for a special, romantic honeymoon alone with your husband. Then next year, you'll be sure to join in the family vacation. And then tell them that you're sure they understand your point of view, they are so understanding and have been newlyweds themselves so they know how it is.....

36

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

This is perfect advice...please try and bring yourself to follow it....honestly it's for your own good....it's vital for the health of your relationship

37

Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

thanks a lot everyone..i will surely do something about it..am waiting for mu husband to be back from work..will talk to him surely..i dont want to miss this chance (the trip) :(

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Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Bhurapay mein jawani :S bhuday honeymoon pay jana chahtay hai grrrr how can they even think of going with you? cant you tell your husband to tell them not to go with you people or send the in laws and you people stay back and have a honeymoon of your own at your place; or well you will stay in differen rooms (hopefully) and then you can go your own way and not get disturbed by them even if they are in the same country, city whatever...
Many inlaws just do these kinds of things to bugg the bride..i mean they dont want the wife and their son go alone since they are afraid to much of time together and alone can make their son submit to her wife completely and no one wants that do they now, plus it can increase the understanding and love..bayta sambhal kay your inlaws are chalak :P

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Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

chalaak ya jaahil ? :halo: i wil talk to my husband..and if he still doesnt do anything abt it,i will be hurt and feel bad..susraal walay tau hotay he susraal walay hain..i never would expect something good out of them..jitnay marzi achay hoan !:naraz:

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Re: In-Laws spoiling your honeymoon??

Like all desi parents believe that..........a mother raises her son for 25 years to try and make him her own and a wife manages in 25 minutes of marriage!!