uff yaar why to create tension in your life. why why yaar? be happy. tomorrow you die and people say life too short. so be happy and find ways to not be unhappy and in tension.
living with inlaws = tension. and you are asking where to draw the line? vhat nonsence yaar!
okay you wanting to make them happy. you better be ready to cook food all the time, iron clothes, take no naps during day, wear gold jewellery all the time as that is what a new bride does, dress smart all the time. nod your head and agree to everything. never answer back to mother in law. hand all jewellery money passport to mother in law. oh i am getting heart attack just giving such advise which i am agaisnt!
why yaar you doing this? yaar why you no move in own home with new husband? ya ya.
ok serious advice anyone...????
mistypurplespark, this advice is as serious as it can get. Trust me, ive lived with inlaws and its not smooth sailing. You have to give up your personality and agree to whatever they say and do. My advise is live separately from the beginning or dont get married. Im married and have gone through bitter experiences. What khubsooratCollection has said is spot on.
mistypurplespark, this advice is as serious as it can get. Trust me, ive lived with inlaws and its not smooth sailing. You have to give up your personality and agree to whatever they say and do. My advise is live separately from the beginning or dont get married. Im married and have gone through bitter experiences. What khubsooratCollection has said is spot on.
wel djmi.... i cnt reli do dt... while my hubby to me wil b stil on his residency il b takin some exams myself... so it'l b least 3 yrs til we move out.. after dt set time wer gona get our own place... i get where ur comin from to.. my ssiter had to go thru a few biter experinces wid her MIL n SILS.. but i dont think my hubby and his fmaily is anythin like em.... n im better of tryin to make everyome happy..... i dun wanna create tension between realtionships..... but im scared at the same time dt il go thru wt u went trhu to cuz dts wt i hear most of the time...... hope u moved out n r happy nw!!
yeah, i moved out for sure, my husband hasnt, i dont think he ever will. Might be divorced soon.
I wish you all the best, and i sincerely hope you dont go through what i or you sister have been through.
All the best, have lots of patience. :)
uff yaar why to create tension in your life. why why yaar? be happy. tomorrow you die and people say life too short. so be happy and find ways to not be unhappy and in tension.
living with inlaws = tension. and you are asking where to draw the line? vhat nonsence yaar!
okay you wanting to make them happy. you better be ready to cook food all the time, iron clothes, take no naps during day, wear gold jewellery all the time as that is what a new bride does, dress smart all the time. nod your head and agree to everything. never answer back to mother in law. hand all jewellery money passport to mother in law. oh i am getting heart attack just giving such advise which i am agaisnt!
why yaar you doing this? yaar why you no move in own home with new husband? ya ya.
let me tell you somethign there will be people that will say that living with your in laws is no big deal but really the majority of the stories ive heard is that they are a pain in the ass. and if youre going to live with them ...see how they treat you and treat them likewise...if they are good then be good and if they are annyoying show them that you wont stand for it .and whatever you do try to keep your husband and your life PERSONAL.I agree with Khubsoorat collection.
totally agree when ur living with ur in-laws...u have to change ur personality...and agree to everything they say, or just simply smile like an idiot. uh huh didn't know living with in-laws can be soooooo annoying until i started living with them myself. There is NO SUCH THING as nice in-laws...they all are fake. Ur MIL will expect u to do house chores, and if u don’t then she'll act all pissed off...trying to show her husband and ur husband how much house chore she does around the house. At the same time ur SIL won't do ****...and ur MIL will be totally ok with dat...THIS IS LIFE!!!! and IT'S not FAIR!...sometimes ur stuck with ur in-laws God knows until when.
see, told u so. very very very few girls will give u a positive input ... reading all these replies would probalby make any bride to be nervous bout living with her in laws.. give her negetive thoughts from the beginning..
after reading all the negtive feedback of living with in laws, hope u can still keep a broad mind and know that it doesnt havta be the same with you :)
Always remember.. the first month.. make sure you take your time and mesh into the family slowly.. dnt jump into housework right away .. enjoy your newly wedded life.. yes, make sure you help out.. but the cooking and cleaning can wait..
leave things the way they are.. if there are things that you dont see eye to eye on make sure you dont push to get them done your way.. because in the end they'll jst go back to how they were being done before u came along..
my mom alwys told me "jo jaisa hai waisa hi rehne do.. tumhare wahaan jaane se pehle jo kaam jaise hota thaa hone do.. lekin khud kisi cheez ko change karne ki ya apni tarha se na karo".. this way you'll create trust between u and ur in-laws.. and learn the way they do things.. and trust me ur MIL will deff. appreciate it
create a bond between any elder, younger SIL's, BIL's.. and alwys remember that sometimes you do have to change to accomodate others. so make sure u keep that in mind.
Always have a smile on your face and if you dont need to speak in a certain issue.. DONT!
I am so shocked with all the replies! no nice MIL? give me a break.. what are u girls teaching ur future generation?
everyone has their own experience. It's not a one size fits all thing here..
Just be respectful and be yourself. And you will get respect in turn.
And no, not all MIL's want u dressing up in gold all day long.. they prob just want u looking nice and stuff, but what is the big deal in that? Dont you want to look nice for the hubz? do it for him if not for the MIL... geez
how should i be at home with inlaws, after the weding?
THEY ARE my family, i am marrying my cousin, so they know me. but how do i behave day after wedding and the few weeksil be there before me and hubby come back to uk. how do i behave. i want to be chatty and i want my relatvies to think im a good daighter in law and clever etc not stupid.
im getting married this summer, im soo scared of the change itl have in my life. ive just done my masters and i have been born and bred in uk. i am marrying my cousin and alhumdulilah i know him wel and hes great. but im just soo scared of life after marriage and the change itl have. and the fact that my parents wont be the same after and that i cant just sit around at home and see my mum whenever i want. life changes and i dnt want it to yet i know i should marry and that its a blessing. but i just cant get rid of the fear and the negative feelings in me
Re: how should i be at home with inlaws, after the weding?
There have been many threads in the Life/Relationships forum about the subject of dealing with in-laws. You can check them out. But here are some tips:
1) Don't stay glued to your husband all the time. Also spend time with his parents and siblings. A mother-in-law can get jealous by thinking that you will still her son away. So, try to show her that you're not going to take anybody away from her and be like a member of their family. Talk to his parents, his siblings, spend time with them. Help them out with cooking and cleaning. Go shopping with them. Watch tv/movies with them, etc. Offer to help them out sometimes with chores.
2) When you and your hubby go out together.......then SOMETIMES invite his parents to come also. BUT DON'T DO THIS ALL THE TIME. Because you also need time to bond with your husband alone. And when you and him go out ALONE....then bring back something nice for his family. For example, if you both go to a restaurant, then bring back some food for his parents. Or if you go for a vacation/honeymoon....then bring back some small gifts for his family.
3) Don't gossip or say anything negative about your marriage or your in-laws to anyone from his family. Because, you can't trust everyone. For example...if you say something negative to his sister....she might tell her mom. And if anyone from his family invites you in gossip....then maintain a diplomatic and neutral stance. Gossip just causes trouble. Work on strengthening your relationship with your husband.
If your fears are regarding how to live with in-laws, there are plenty of threads in this forum about the situation. Marriage changes everybody's life, it doesn't matter if you'll be staying in the same country or moving across the world.** Talking to your mom/sister, friends, and fiance about your concerns and feelings might help you relax. ** Your parents will always be your parents. And they will support you no matter where you live. You are their # 1 priority. Do you have any friends that are married? They might be able to give you some advice. There are many guppies here that are married and hopefully will share some of their marital wisdom with you :)
you'll be ok :) most people (girls) have these concerns prior to getting married.
Just be respectful and kind to your inlaws. Once you're married, give your inlaws, especially ur MIL some time and try to get to know them more. Talk to them, joke around with them.. but dont talk about them to anyone else. Ur hubby will appreciate this as well.
Since their son will be moving away with you, reassure them that everything will be ok. And that they should come and visit whenever they'd like. Treat them as your own.. actually, treat them as you would a friend.
My MIL talks to me more than she talks to my hubby. So when we're on the phone (they live overseas), we'll have more detailed conversations than what my hubby does with her. I love it.. its really nice. Gaining respect and love can be difficult, but it can be gained by positive moods and good actions.... to lose it, will only take a moment.
So be kind, and generous... and it will all work out, Inshallah
