Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
If this thread was created by a deceived wife then the response would have been different. Respect to OP for being supportive towards his wife.
Hope you find strength in dealing with this situation.
There are millions of beautiful young women pressured to marry wrinkly ashy old men and probably don't have the prerogative to refuse the advances of the old man no matter how repulsed they feel. The young lady has some skin rashes the guy has gone bald and fat, moreover you marry a beautiful young women and unfortunately she will get old one day.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
OP, we understand that its a tough situation to deal with. You have made a good decision in staying with your wife, but unfortunately avoiding to get intimate with your wife is going to ruin your marriage. Part of the problem is that you subconsciously blame her condition for your loss of hair and gaining belly. Yes, we understand that you are feeling depressed, but you can at least work on your belly issue. It would help your own self confidence, plus it will give you something to do, and divert your attention from the depression. Just feeling miserable is going to make you more miserable.
And as others have mentioned, make dua, and try to look at brighter side of things. I hope and pray that it all works out for you and your family.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
Btw, Kim kardashian has psoriasis too. I believe she has never had a problem getting men to ignore that problem along with her terrible personality and questionable existence. I think men are more easily deceived by the perfectly edited magazine covers and expect their wives to be perfect from every angle while never feeling the need to have an 8-pack to match.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
yeh kaisa pyar hai? skin deep?
I say divorce her, she deserves to marry someone who can see past something so small.
And good luck finding a hot wife while you have a beer gut/ganja head and divorced record.
Imagine having to tell a potential wife, I divorced the last one because her skin wasn't milky smooth.
My co worker has this condition and she manages it fine.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
Are you sure it's just the psoriasis? I know it's a serious skin condition and it can be difficult to even look at a really bad case. Have you guys tried a homeopath? How long has she had it for? And what do you love about your wife? Why not list her positive qualities - physical and otherwise. Does she have a nice figure, pretty face? Is she kind?
Re: In-laws hid wife’s physical issues before marriage
LOL so true. But to this day I feel inadequate for my husband, even though he constantly reassures me he doesn’t see my flaws. I always wonder what he thinks when he sees girls with no cellulite, even skin tone etc. As a woman, these physical things are just so much tougher. You don’t want your man looking at anyone else and for as long as you feel insecure, you will be miserable. So I hope his wife feels loved and secure and not oh my fuk he finds me physically repulsive. So sad. And yes she does deserve someone who will love her flaws and all.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
Okay so my parents arranged my marriage in some family that our family has old ties with (non-relatives). My mother assumed that when I said I need time to think this over, I meant yes but couldn't say it because I was shy. Anyhow, I was okay with it as I didn't have any particular "girl of my dreams".
So the girl looks fine and all, we get married and now I find out that she has an incurable skin condition, Psoriasis. You can imagine my shock when we first got the chance to be alone after marriage. I didn't know what to say but it was a big turn off for me. I have tried to ignore this and haven't even told my parents or anyone about this.
Now the problem is that her condition has become worse and is spreading on her body. I can ignore the fact now that we have a beautiful kid and I am not a @$$hole who will leave someone because of some medical condition but the problem is, I do not find her sexually attractive any longer. The last time we performed any marital act was two months ago and that too only after she complained. I have lost all my urges, and even when I do feel something, her condition turns me off. I support her in every way and have spent a lot of money on different treatments but the best we get is the skin blisters going away for a few days until her body develops resistance to the meds, then it is back on again.
I think I was deceived in that I was not told by her or her parents before we got married of her condition even though we had been engaged for a few months and had talked a lot during that time. I try not to compare my wife with other women but somehow in my sub-conscious, this automatically happens and it makes me so depressed that I have stopped taking care of myself. I used to be a very athletic and energetic young man but now at just thirty, I have lost a lot of hair, grown a pot belly and given up all sorts of physical activities.
Has anybody else been in this situation before? How did you handle this? How did you overcome the sense of something missing from your life? Do you think my in-laws deceived me by not telling me about her incurable condition?
Dude, this is an autoimmune condition (disorder, illness), not a death sentence. She needs medication and a stress-free life (stress lowers her autoimmunity and her skin flares up- I'm not a medical person, just saying), not rejection or judgements from someone she's chosen to spend her life and body with.
Get her involved in physical activities and generally implement healthy activities in your lives- the happier you two are, the healthier you two will be.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
Stress is major cause of skin diseases. Please apply ointment and that is only available cure for time being. Skin disease reoccur again and again. She can not control it by herself. You need to accept this fact. Think if you were in this disease, how would you feel.
Re: In-laws hid wife's physical issues before marriage
Dude, the problem is not her but you. Stop thinking that you are a victim and get over yourself. You are making all this fuss about something so superficial. Get some therapy. You might have some deeper issues that you are unaware of.
And yes she does deserve someone who will love her flaws and all.