In laws complaints

[ALIREZA1]

Re: In laws complaints

@Tempe5t

If I have a saas who is nakchari by nature…who is aadat se majboor in finding flaws in me or telling me how to do things…and let’s add some other khoobiyan to her qualifications…maybe she never praises me…maybe she never compliments me on anything I cook or wear or give her…maybe she excludes me from events…pretends not to see me when I’m in front of her…favors my jhetani and devrani over me…never gives me any gifts or makes it a point to give me cheap stuff…pesters me about popping a baby…smiles sweetly in my face and talks smack behind my back. As obnoxious and hurtful as these behaviors are should I cry “abuse” each and every time she pulls stuff like this?

I am not against calling out a person on their poor behavior and at times I’ve even advised it. It may shame them into reformation (fingers and eyes crossed). But it may do just the opposite; it may worsen relations. The repeat-offender may not think they’ve done anything wrong. Your husband may not be the kind who would choose his wife over his mother and shun the latter totally out of his life. He may be the kind that wants to maintain ties with his parents even though they’re difficult. So, sometimes you have to pick your battles because sometimes it’s more exhausting to confront or “stand up” for each and every offense.

Your society as a whole did not stand up against this kind of abuse and hence millions have to put up with this, our society did and no saas can dream about behaving this way here. MILs here are actually afraid of dils. Relationships are always based on mutual respect and equality what you describe is not really a relationship it is about power and control. A person who is willing to trade the love of his son over the power to abuse and rule is not worth having in your life anyways.