Wow. Coccoo, you've just given me a totally different perspective. Thank you.
You're right. Now that I think of it, in almost every situation where I've seen the girl be outright disrespectful of her in laws or where she's trying to cut them out of her life...the SON (her husband) conveniently has nothing to say or the girl pulls the attitude when her husband isn't around.
Sigh
Why do people make things difficult for each other? Seriously, why is it so much trouble to mind your own business, let go of disagreements, and get along?
But as for who is more or less at fault...that I'm not sure of. Yes, the son should make sure that his family gets the respect that they deserves from his wife (same goes for daughters and their husbands). But the spouses should know better too. We're all adults. We know how to behave and should behave.