Re: In-laws... and strategies to deal with them.
first... does your BIL work? Is he contributing to the expenses of the house? Rent, Food, Gas, Electric, etc...? Do you clean up after him all the time. Tell him that once this baby comes its going to be difficult for you to care for everyone and that he needs to start taking on more responsibilities. He needs to wash his own dishes, do his own laundry, clean up after himself, etc....
Secondly, when you do decide to get a house, try to get a two family home, that has a separate entrance... that way you'll live in the same house but different floors. Never ever make the mistake of stating to the rishtas that come that this is HIS house. Do not deceive them in any way whatsoever.
thirdly... telling your husband doesn't seem to achieve much. You should however talk to your parents/siblings and confide in them. Tell your mom that you just want her to know (and that you arent trying to create any problems) whats going on because you have no one to talk to and that is why the MIL is calling them all the time and complaining about you. If he doesn't listen to you, you still need a support system to vent to. Your husband cannot stop you from venting, if he wont listen to you.
once your baby is born (inshAllah soon), congratulations mashAllah, tell your husband that his mother needs to limit her conversations to once a day (or you will limit them) because you'll be soo busy with the baby.
and most importantly enjoy your life as a wife and a mother!!! :)