It is becoming harder and harder to make simple choices.. going ahead with my plans.. actually making a move on the current planning and getting a go at things…
I am in desparate need of a mentor… some one who could give me guidance and motivation .. help me make simple choices.. it seems like there is always a split of two choices on the end or very beginging of a task.. and the uncertain double mindedness keeps me from going forward…
There comes a time in life when you question yourself and look at past… and see how you have spent it all.. and think if you made the smart choices..
I want to move ahead in my career… for which i need to take a few simple steps but I havent been able to accomplish them…
hey dont u have any friend??cozin??or someone who could help u out???being a friend or cozin to my frnds/cozins I have always played an important part in motivating them and so did they but the trend has been always like someone more experienced can help u out................and dont worry a lot of ppl including me at GS can help u...support u..
Awww...i really dislike this in me too as i dont have a strong decision power and it sucks :(. I know how hard it was for me to decide what i wanted to study for my graduation programme...i was so dead tossed on between two ideas but in the end i did make a decision and i thank god that i made the decision that i did.
What i can suggest to you based on my experience is that if you are confused about two options..get maximum info on both and weigh their pros and cons. Right now you might feel like getting over with it and coming out with a decision but its k if you need lil more time. Because this little hard time you will spend now will spare you of alot of headache and regret later. I am also Mashallah se so satisfied with my decision now because i know i thought through the options thoroughly and didnt leave any space for later one saying "oh only if i had checked if i cud have done this or that..."...you know that kinda thingy.
I know how hard such situations can be especially if you are someone like me to whom their education is of great importance and value. But dont worry you will get through it and i am more than willing to help in any which way i can :).
Hi Stylobabe: Unfortunately I do not have anyone this close...
Or maybe I don't open up to friends that I have.. But this feeling of wasting my life.. and being a not a complete failure but a bovine, down tempoed person.. Not using my abilities to the fullest.. keeps me from being content with my current situation
Maham S: Thanks for the well wishes. Sometimes I find the options that I am given are too vast and unnecessary. It maybe have to do with the career that I am in. It gives you too much freedom. I am currently working for a good company but I could also be running my own business and there are possibly 10 to 20 ways to that route. Or I could get a quick certification and get paid a whole lot more ..
Some times I feel that this 9 to 5 rut just makes you into a robot.
^^ u know thats the good thing abt u cuz u want to do a lot more then u r currently doing that is why u r not satisfied it happens with everyone but u dun hafto start thinking u have lost it DO WOT U LIKE... wot makes u happy....and if u r uncertain abt making a certain decision go and seek help...it wont make u small or seem dumb try to open up to people express ur views and listen to others....dont keep everything to urself and when u r very much confused abt wot alternative to choose ...select one u think is the best and go ahead and have ur faith in Allah ...if theres no one keep thinking that Allah is there....if ur decision doesnt go right its not ur fault u will learn from it
and yeah SAble iam working 9 to 5 too i want to have my own business i want to be a creative designer....some business related to dressdesigning.....i want to be an HR professionalist....and then i think i had rather go study HR or project management or sometimes i want to do a course in ARTS wheras I HAVE A MAJOR IN FINANCE now thats wot u call a confused lifeeeeeeeee
but am still happy and Inshallah will try to do most of the above if i can and if they r destinied for me :)
I miss the student life where you are subjected to follow with constant check and your ways a less confusing. May be this is a sign that I need to start grad school.
Maham S: Thanks for the well wishes. Sometimes I find the options that I am given are too vast and unnecessary. It maybe have to do with the career that I am in. It gives you too much freedom. I am currently working for a good company but I could also be running my own business and there are possibly 10 to 20 ways to that route. Or I could get a quick certification and get paid a whole lot more ..
Some times I feel that this 9 to 5 rut just makes you into a robot.
Oh ok so its one of those things...you are not satified with what you are doing. Hmm lets c, are you willing to take risks on your own or play safe?. If you are willing to take risks than i guess you should do fine with your own business. Now, if you are also confused about what route to take for it...well you must have some elders in your family na who have the relevant experience. This is the time when you get their knowledge to your use.
Joint down your preference and see what you be more happy doing. And see if it takes you to any particular route.
Mirch: My questions are (and these are just a few of the many)
– What am I worth?
– Am I an under achiever?
– Is this life worth living?
– Would more money make me a happier person?
– What is the purpose of my life?
Simple questions require simple answers....
- Ask someone who depends on you for your worth.
- Every achievement is just another milestone.
- You have to put yourself in the grave to get the answer.
- If you are earning 100k, 1000k would make you happy for 10 days.
- Live since you have no other choice, if living is not an option contemplate about death , you will get the answer
is there someone at your workplace that you admire and aspire to be like? ask them to mentor you...most people would be flattered if you tell them you admire them and need some guidance from them.
keep one organizer book always in handy and make a list of things to do every night for the following day and make sure u get it all done...it makes the day seem worthwhile and you'll feel productive. take a good diet and exercise ...it might sound out of place but it does wonders to clear the mind, reduce stress and depression and give a boost of confidence.
Mentorship has nothing to do with friendship. Your mentor does not need to be your friend. He/She just need to be a person
Who has acheived succesfully what you want to achieve, and
Who is willing to guide you.
You could have different mentor in different area, for example ...
Spritual
Relataionship
Health
Career
Finances
Finding the right mentor is your job.
One advice, thier is no such thing as wisdom because of age. It may sound unfortunate but just because my parents are older than me, dont make them wiser than me in every aspect.
I did not see your questions. Here is what I would suggest (in bold red)
– What am I worth? If you are talking financially, look around and find the people with same education and experience as yours. Pick out the top 5% in terms of worth amongst them. That is your worth, at least
– Am I an under achiever? Once you set the above standard, that is to be part of that top 5% group, strive for it.
– Is this life worth living? :) Yes
– Would more money make me a happier person? Less money would not make you happy either. More money is not the solution of all the problems, but it will definitely take care of your 95% of the problem. Person with less problems is always happier than the person with more problems.
– What is the purpose of my life? To make your life worth living by making others life worth living :)
shweetdreamz : I like your thoughtful answer. My Agenda book is always with me. But, I have an issue. Somethings that I find extremly important and urgent, come to appear sort of foolish after two months or so. There is a constant fight going on in my head on whats important for me and what is not.
How does one’s priorities change so quick. Seems pretty helpless I know, and that is exactly I feel.
I haven’t had the courage to talk to my boss about this.. He might start to think I want to look for other places, I feared.
i think the fact that you struggle with these questions is not necessarily something bad. its good that you have some internal check in you that you struggle with what is important in life. its hard for me to say something without knowing all the details but i have gone through something like this..at times i feel happy for making certain decisions and at times i wonder if i was downright foolish but you know what in the end im satisfied that i made a decision at all…no one else made it for me. and that in itself is motivating. rich or poor, misery is internal and you need to stop being miserable and celebrate the fact that you have control of your life. and dont be scared of changing priorities! its part of everyone’s life…but i dont think it should be an excuse not to give your best in any point in life.
I've been through this phrase too..but i had role models (my dad being one of them) but i just struggle to get the same answers and then one day it hit me.. that: God has given me this life,so its basically a loan from him- and its a privilege- it may NEVER be smooth, (the purpose of this life is not happiness rather to survive)- so take full advantage of this given privilege (imagine if you were a angel,you'd have no free will, no control..life wouldve been so simple n boring but yet smooth). Nothing is given to anyone on a platter, you are all you have got (sure siblings, parents, relatives can help you) but everyone has life their own life..so why burden them. The two most powerful weapons God has given our specie (to cope with life) which are: power of mind and power of language. Change your thinking from negative to positive.. You can do almost anything IF you have control over these 2 things that God has given us. I just cant stress enough on the power of mind.. USE it or you will lose it (im sure you are aware of this sciencetifically proven fact). My advice would be to first and formost change your negative thinking into positive, and take out all the negatives from your life. change your environment if its not productive, take a break, read a section of Quran and just try to incorporate that teaching into your everyday life. Remembrace of Allah is very important.. and ofcourse treat yourself with respect and care.