In desparate need of a Mentor

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Stick this in your head and live by it: YOU ARE ALL YOUVE GOT!

p.s: you should so be glad that you have are able to make your own decisions(good/bad)..i know some people who dont even have that right! so girl its about time you start looking at the positives in your life.. and there is this ayah (i cant get the name in my head) which talks about miserliness..there is no room for misery in our religion!

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Sable: I think the answer to all your problems/questions is ALLAH. Ask and ye shall recieve. x

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

I find the last three replies the strongest.

Roshnii : There is all truth in the saying 'You are all you have got'. But saying this pains me too, at the same time. Aren't we supposed to be the social animal.. the groups and societies formed to live with eachother... But at the end of the day, all you have got is just your own self and lets not forget, Allah, our creator.

I think I will listen to some Quranic Tilawat now..

Once again thanks every one for all your valuable inputs.

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

You are worth more than what you can imagine. First you have to define "worth" to yourself. What does it mean when you say "worth"? is it monetary value? personal value? your family loves you. For your parents you are worth everything. So really clear the term first.

We all feel that we can be doing more than what we are doing right now. Trust me I go through every single damn day where I tell myself that its just one more day closer to where I want to be.. PM me if you need more details lol

Definitely. If it wasn't Allah wouldn't have kept you alive ;)

No it won't. Money isn't what you should be going after. Go after happiness itself.

It is to please Allah, obey your parents and achieve something in life. Aim for anything that you want and work towards it. Trust me it ain't easy but its fun :)

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

hey,

yeah we are all social animals.. n our religions also supports that. You cant just sit around at the corner of the masjid, pray all night and assume you are the perfect or near perfect muslim.. that is not islam. rather, we have to incorporate the teaching into our everyday dealings. Join a cause,or a group..you need a support system, like-minded people.. NOBODY can survive alone. what i meant to say earlier was that you cant rely on someone to fix your problems.. its only you who can look within yourself and work on your weaknesses. I have done this before, i had to change my friends (didnt disowned them) but rather had to look out for people who were living the life like its suppose to so i started going to this almagrib class (one weekend program), and it really brought me closer to Islam. Theyre so empowering, you must check out their classes (its not your regular halaqa class,its seriously amazing..most of the professors are highly qualified, most from almadina university!) its held once every couple month (just for a weekend or two) but they gave me a whole new perspective on life. I learned that Islam is so powerful, its a modern religion, everything about it is so practical and it is THE only religion that can work for the modern world..nothing about it is wishy washy, nothing is mythical.. its a very liberal religion!

you may think as if im a almagrib worker and urging you to join ..lol im not..im 21 year old undergrad student. I just thought i should share that with you :)

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Sable

there are mentors available for a fee. they are called personal coaches or career coaches.
you can also find mentors in your place of work or thru your unis alumni network

people in general are willing to help, it will be up to you to pick the right person and to strike the right tone and balance there.

In the end success means different things to different people, understand that. Understand that whatever your goals are, you should strive as much as possible to achieve them

a person's worth is not determined by their salary or their net worth. material success is one aspect of success but it is a faulty gauge..a mediocre doctor in US will pretty much always make more money than an excellent teacher in Pakistan.. does that make the mediocre doctor a success?

looking at past should just be a lesson, u are on GS so what are you, in your 20's 30's? now..lets say you are 30...I mena that means u just finished high school 12 years ago..college 7-8 years ago. and if you got a masters right away..u probablyhad what 5-6 years in your career. why dio u want to negatively impact your present and several decades of professional life for what you did or did not do right in 5-6 years. why carry that weight?

and we can reinvent ourselves, and in this day and age we have to. I know a cardiologist doing an MBA because he wants to go into healthcare mgmt, iknow teachers whohave done MBas, ..once of my bosses was a high school teacher at one time. i know of MBAs who decided they wanted to be teachers and got their certifications. Iknow people who reinvented themselves..went into a new place with no previous baggage started fresh and while in previous companythey were seen as dead weight, in new company they became stars.

be positive, be confident, go forth and conquer.

No Title
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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

If you’re looking for mentors here on GS, there are 4 people who I would go to if I ever need advice: Niksik, TLK, somegroovychick and X2. Niksik (my lovely bhabi) and SGC have advised me on several occasion and even though I haven’t asked X2 or TLK for help, I know they will give you some really sensible and logical answers.

Other than that, if you’re a girl, you can always come to me for a hug :hugz:

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Ansoo: I appriciate your comprehensive answers.

combining all the definations you presented for a person's worth. I fall into every category. Now the question is what is most important to me.. whatever I find most valubale should be most worthy to me and in reflection would be my worth. As they say everything in this world in your own reflection.

For the achieving question, thanks for being open and reassuring. I see now that it is pretty much all of us, who want to move forward from where we are. If we don't then it simply means that we are dead. So I shouldn't over analyze this question in my head.

Very sadly, living in this self indulgent society, for the last ten years or so, the focus of my life has been striving to make more money. I pursued a career that I was passionate about, but the money factor was always present. What would be the answer if your 'so called' happiness requires money and lots of it. For example, I am passionate about travelling all over the world. This will reqire sums, sadly.

Someone bring me that majic potion that will free me of all the worldy desires.
I know this should be the puspose of my life to please Allah swt.

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

X2: Let me google this one more term ' career coaches ' and find out.

I agree a 100% that a doctor isn't worth more than a good teaher. But honestly in the present society where classes and roles are established on the basis of how much you own, one might have a hard time. Again these shouldn't be the basis for our choices we make in life. Last thing I care about is what others think about me. This is an inner fight that I am going through. Most people look at me as an over accomplished person, while having repressing resources. Where is my sense of accomplishment? I believe it was there for a few months, faded away after that.

For 'carrying the weight of not making the right choices' comment, I did surely make more than right choices. I decided at one point in my life that I will do, what most in my situation consider impossible. With grace of Almighty, it came true for me. The problem is now, I am just not living up to the potential for all that I worked for. I have slowed down after all that hard work.
Fact is that I want to skip the important stairs that can take me to the next level and looking for a jump.

This thread is helping me reinvent and revive my thoughts and have things out from my closed self. I t is giving me a better perspective and I have to thank you all for that.

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Shay 9164: Thanks for your kind words and yes I will definately look into getting help/feedback from the names you mentioned. :)

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Unfortunately, there ain't no magic potion.. but there is something that can help you. You need to realize that no matter what route you choose be it sit at home or go out and make a difference.. you will need to put in some efforts..

You seem like a person with skills but doesnt know how to use them. I used to be like that.. then I started to list down what I would want to do.. and started to do them one at a time.. i am still on 2nd place in that list so there is a lot more to do..

I wish you very best in future.. go out meet other ppl.. see what they are doing and learn how they are doing.. learn from their mistakes.. learn from their success..

hE's misSinG mE sO mUch..
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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

^i am going through the same periode sable... do tell me what helped you out.. who knows maybe then you might be the right person to guide me through it ... :)

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

Ansoo: I am a huge fan of planning, writing down my goals... or even my worries for that matter. Writing for me has a huge healing power. I think that might be the reason unconciously for me to start writing here. And I used to be really good at accomplishing whatever I planned for. Let me share with you this funny story of my teen years. In those days we didn't have monstor.com or other internet resources to look for a job and I had just come back from pakistan after a long visit. Needed to get back to working part time with my studies. All I had was a phone and the yellow pages. I looked up a list of places where I could be working. Started calling them in the order they were listed. Got their HR phone numbers and called them asking for opportunities. In less than 3 days, I had a few job offers. It seems like now, the more we have, its less and less that we are motivated. Some times I huge hate how internet, despite giving us a million benefits, just closes up everyone into a screen-name and is so impersonal.

Thanks for you well wishes.

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

We are misery buddies. :)

I would say takeup on everyone's advice here. Each carries value in its own way.

I hope for you that you resolve whatever is keeping you from getting there.

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Re: In desparate need of a Mentor

^thanx Sable...