In Defense of non-Hijabi sisters

Society Religion & Philosophy
21

Forget being a Muslim
lets look at the women of the world
If they dont wear hijab does that automatically mean they are immodest?

Women who dont wear hijab are whores and women who do are the most pious of all?

Is that what this is all bout
Then i am really sorry cause i wasnt aware of the narrow minded, restricted mentality of some individuals

Modesty is not covering yourself from head to toe in a chaddar
One’s thoughts should be modest too
One’s lifestyle should be modest too

So hk you do agree that whatever people do
that is fast, pray etc its between them and their God
then why do some individuals fail to understand that and point fingers at others ?

Naeem if you must know
I was at the bar with my husband and some friends celebrating a birthday

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/rolleyes.gif

I beta might have more knowledge of Islam then you would ever in your life
However i also have the ability to question whats right and whats wrong
I am not some lakir ka fakir, that i just go around blindly following stuff without any knowledge

StrongMan

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you can blah blah all you want
it will never make my faith in Allah weak

22

maybe i havent made myself clear...what i meant to say was that fasting, praying, or wearing hijab have been ordered by Allah(swt) for our own benefit.
no matter how much logic u try to use, there's no point in contradicting something Allah(swt) has told us to do. Anchal u may think that wearing just a piece of cloth is no big deal and doesnt affect your faith. But the fact of the matter is, that is ur personal opinion. It does not change what Allah(swt) and the Quran says....
but the whole point of this post is, non-hijabi women shouldnt be looked down on or treated as if they're not Muslims. That is un-Islamic. And while that's true, we also have to learn to distinguish between what's our personal opinion and what Islam actually teaches...ive been keep saying this just like some of the other guppees.....Islamic rules and teachings do not change for any one.

^^Believe to Understand^*^*

[This message has been edited by hk (edited January 21, 2001).]

23

Okay tell me what do you mean by modest dressing?

for us Pakistani people, we will approve of a woman wearing decent shalwar qameez and if she's not covering her head, its alright...

For the people in Arab world, a woman wearing an "abaya" is modest.

For people in west,...

the definition of being modest depends from person to person, and from place to place.

Now we are Muslims, we are supposed to follow Islam. its true that eveyone has right to follow what they heart says right... if you don't want to follow something, that's alright. No one can force you in anything. I agree that it is not right to look down upon the non-hijabi women, but it is allowed only in the case if the non-hijabi ladies are trying to get used to the hijab and are willing to wear hijab whenever they are ready. But this is not right when the Muslim ladies don't cover their hair and say that there are other important things in life to be discussed. Islam is a complete code of life and we are lucky that Islam clears even the little detail which might create some questions in some minds. In Islam when we are told we are supposed to wear decent dresses, (keeping this in mind that everyone has their own definition of decency), at the same time Allah clears that what is decent from Islamic point of view.

Now one very interesting question that arouse in some minds was, if Allah created us, and there is nothing hidden from him then why do we need to cover our selves if we are Muslims? Well, the whole covering thing is hiding yourself from men and their gaze. If I wear decent dress and don't wear a hijab, and got a lovely haircut, then what do you think, am I not attracting men? Yes, I am! Now accept it or not, the hijab gives you some protaction, you can even feel it when you wear a chaddar or hijab.

Most of us will never do great things,but we can do small things in a great way.

24

Anchal: Salaam, Would you say it is obligatory on us to pray 5 times a day? Isn't that not the same as it being obligatory for women to cover their hair and dress in a modest way?

25

Salaamz

I havent been on gupshup for a while, but this post caught my eye. I myself, do not wear hijaab. I can relate to how the girl in the article feels.

I remeber ramzaan last year, I went to the islamic society iftari at my university. I went with a friend of mine who also does not wear hijaab either.

Just before we went inside, we put on our scarves and went in, broke our roza, read maghrib and sat down for the talk. At the end, we were blatantly ignored by the others.

Many people (especially our so called "brothers") do not realise how "life-changing" wearing a hijaab is. I do realise that it has been instructed by Allah for me to wear, and insha Allah I will, when I'm ready to do so.

Concentrate on yourself because at the end of the day, they will go in to their grave and you will go in to yours.

26

farhana, I think you're wrong if you think we don't realise how life changing it is. Can you compare it to keeping a full beard (not a designer one)? Even though it's Sunnat?

My sisters were never ever forced to wear hijab, they are the ones that spoke to me about the idea. Granted there are those ignorant 'brothers' out there who criticise without looking at themselves first.. but there also those of us who make very informed and educated points about living in Allah's way.

Do not try to justify the fact that you are not supposed to wear Hijab (headscarf, loose clothing etc), because as muslim women, Allah has ordered you to, just as he has ordered us to pray to him and fast in the month of Ramadhan. The choice is YOURS whether you wear it or not. No one has the right to criticise you for doing that, only Allah is the judge, but it doesn't stop the fact that as a muslim women, this is very important.

Our mothers are regarded 3 times higher than our fathers.. subhanallah.

27

I'm not denying the importance of hijaab or the high position women are given in Islam.

All, I'm saying is that I will wear it when I'm good and proper and not because of a group of ignorant men/women telling me I should. Most of thesepeople regard hijaab to be the only "thing" that will get a woman in to heaven...what crap!!!

Also, with regards to the beard.....it cannot be compared to hijaab. Beard is sunnah not fard, and most guys I know use that difference to its full advantage. Hijaab is fard. The two cannot be compared, so dont even try to.

28

farhana

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You’re right.

29

[quote]
Originally posted by farhana:
***I'm not denying the importance of hijaab or the high position women are given in Islam.*

All, I'm saying is that I will wear it when I'm good and proper and not because of a group of ignorant men/women telling me I should. Most of thesepeople regard hijaab to be the only "thing" that will get a woman in to heaven...what crap!!!

.**
[/quote]

u know when i was at uni i was really interested in wearing the hijab, my friend wears it and she was really encouraging, but then another sister totally made me feel like it was one of the hardest things to do and well in a way discouraged me, i kinda lost heart after that because i wasnt sure, my best friend just recently started wearing the hijab and im so proud of her but i still dont feel ready. ammi used to force me to wear it to school and that also put me off.
but if i do start wearing it i dont want to be forced into it.

30

part 1:

uff khudaya

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well well well.. lemme tell u a lil story about a girl named “mehndi” and her family and her experiences from high school to college

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lemme tell u the ending first: i wear hijab

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where was i 5 yrs ago: non-hijabi

how did i get there… hmmm

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i started praying 5 X day when i was umm… in 9th grade. i just had this surge.. and we had gotten this cool adhan clock.. and i kept thinking.. why am i setting the prayers’ time if i’m not praying. SubhanAllah the adhan truly “called me to prayer”. mind u.. my entire family was a jummah type of family.. every jummah was prayer.. and that’s it. oh and ramadan was the only month to pray 5 times. khair… my parents were really happy and stuff… with the small taunting and teasing at first.. it worked out for the best

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chapter 2: my first hijab experience. i went to many isthimas during my high school years.. i was basically a t-shirt and jeanss type of gal.. had my hair out.. simple.. but decent. i prayed.. nonetheless.. and i kept to my studies. my mom was kinda strict as to going with my friends and stuff.. but i was still allowed to go with some conditions of course. then, in sophomore year, 1st half, i had this urge to wear hijab. like just wear it. so i did.. i didnt have a 'scarf" so i took a dupatta and doubled it and pinned it up and stuff. it was pretty neat. of course i felt everyone was looking at me cuz it was high school and kids are just awful at that age.. but i kinda survived well until the end of the day when a freshman came up to me and asked me what my nationality was. so me being so proud about it i said “i’m from pakistan”. next thing he said was " why u wear that **** for? " i didnt know what to say. he caught me so offguard.. i basically fled down the stairs to my next class.

that’s not even half of it. when i came up from getting ready to go to school that morning.. my mom had this look like “what are u wearing?” there was tension in the air. she and my dad didnt like it. their mentality was that u should stay in the middle. my mentality was (and is) that isnt that a form of hypocrysy. khair that day when i came home from school (after that encounter) i cried and cried and cried and my mom was like consoling me and telling me its better to stay in the middle and stuff like that. so i didnt wear it again… until 2 and 1/2 years later.

freshman year: well high school just went in the normal way after that hijab incident… and i went on to become valedictorian.. yada yada yada. my prayers by the will of Allah were always with me. i never stopped praying b/c i felt that atleast i have that personal link with Allah at some point during the day. well i got to college and they have this student organizations’ fair for freshman students to sign up for different organizations. i look for the paki students associ.. and i sign up. i look for the islamic association.. b/c i had a question regarding the qibla direction. i ask the brother at the table which way the direction is.. and he’s loooking at me, and asks me, "are u muslim? " (me being in my t-shirt and jeans (wide-leg)) . so i’m like 'yes.(with this duh look on my face.. like why would i be asking u about the qibla if i wasnt muslim). so they vaguely told me that its with this and this route and u can look at the map.. and i wanted the specific degree number since i had the janamaaz with the compass (but i didnt have the book). they go on to tell me that there are some sisters going to go pray if u want u can go with them.. and i’m like thinking.. haan iss hulyeh main? ( i basically wore kurta shalwar during my prayers everytime , b/c i felt i was in modest dress in front of Allah, how He wants it to be [mind u modest dress is not restricted to shalwar kameez, as some pple think]). and so, they were very … rude.. to put it harshely… and after that i looked at islamic society in a different light. (go figure).

cont.

31

part 2:

i didnt go to many meetings.. and if i did, it was b/c of the speakers and to gain knowledge, and i left immediately. no one spoke to me, except for this 1 hijabi girl who was a senior at that time. her friend, another hijabi, did not speak to non-hijabis. (ignorance). khair, i maybe went to 2 or 3 meetings during the fall semester of freshman year.

the month of ramadan comes and it’s like the 3rd week and i’m about to go back to college… a day b4.. i wear hijab. (a cotton dupatta doubled over again). nothing stopped me. absolutley nothing. my mom was like pleading and stuff.. and by this time my dad had passed away (in january of my sophomore year of high school)… but i was like no, i dont care what u say, i am doing it. it was this inner drive.. that no one can stop.. and u know by then, that its been placed by Allah subhana watalllah. so, well there were many tests given by Allah towards hijab after i started wearing it… and Alhumdolilah, i hope i passed them all

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i still didnt go to islamic society meetings much for the pple or to make friends, since i still felt the pple were too “out there”. i swore to myself i would never treat anyone like how i was treated that day if they didnt wear hijab. just this year i have not missed 1 meeting of islamic society.. why? b/c the pple have changed.. there is a new generation of muslims that dont look down upon non-hijabis… b/c they were once there themselves. they are the so called “converts” like me

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~ it makes a difference. b/c now we have the fastest growing hijabi population ever… SubhanAllah. all by the mercy of Allah.

so is being a muslimah just wearing hijab? absolutely not. u have a core: ur faith in Allah, or emaan. upon that core u build ur morals and ur values that are given to u by Allah. ur morals and ur values play a role in ur character. ur character influences ur decisions in life.. ur perspectives, and ur habits and actions. hijab manifests itself from within and beautifies the body outwards.
its not just about wearing a cloth over ur head… as most pple think it is.. its everything u are made of.. and everything u stand for. if u set urself as an example first.. and believe in urself.. everyone will follow. how did technology emerge? b/c of one innovator.. who toiled during the night in what he/she believed. how did coffee emerge? b/c the arab muslims wanted something that would help them stay awake at night so that they could pray towards their Lord, Allah.

theres so much in islam that is connected to just 1 thing: faith. and it isnt something that another human can give to a person, only Allah can instill the path of light within a human being. but that doesnt give us an excuse to not spread knowledge, to not have good characters, to not have good habits, and good adaab. u must strive for these things for ur own benefit and for the benefit of others. there is an adab in fixing a wrong, u telll the person in private, not in front of the whole Jam’aat. but of course, those who forbid, sometimes forget “how” to forbid. also, those who have changed their bad practices to good practices have done so on the basis of repentence which is a mercy by Allah. repentence is this like kinda eraser but purifier, but so much more that i cant explain. its absolutely just great.

well i hope i didnt bore u guys in my part life-story.. but the bottom line is that u have to develop ur character, ur emaan, ur deen, everything.. and that should be first, so that other things can follow smoothly inshAllah

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-mehndi

p.s.- my entire family has Alhumdolilah gone from every friday to 5 X a day

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plus my mom wears hijab now… so cinderelly

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u dont know who u just might influence to make their own move that they have been thinking about doing

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[This message has been edited by mehndi (edited January 23, 2001).]

32

interesting story mehndi.
its funny how u mentioned ur mother told u to "stay in the middle"...what does that mean? most people, unfortunately many Muslims as well, think that putting on hijab means ur turning into a fundamentalist or fanatic. I've never understood it. Its commanded by Allah(swt) and when u put on hijab, ur obeying ur Creator, not turning into a fanatic. I know its hard but we've got to stop caring about what others think.
Its also nice to hear ur mother now wears hijab...thats quite a change from telling u not to wear hijab.....
ive heard similar stories of Muslim men telling their wives to not wear hijab. In other words, they tell their wives, or in ur case ur mother told u, to disobey Allah(swt). Now thats a grave sin.
So if a woman was to listen to her mother, father or husband, rather than Allah(swt), she's committing a grave sin. No one has the right to stop anyone from doing something thats an obligation given to us from Allah(swt)

^^Believe to Understand^*^*

33

true.. its also a matter of how knowledged u are.. b/c at that time they still thought (some pple still do today) that wearing hijab is optional. so as she realized that it actually wasn’t.. she came closer to Allah

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i’m happy for her for that

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should we ask for knowledge (ilm) about our deen or steadfastness in our deen?

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-mehndi

34

Another reason some Muslim women may find Hijab difficult is because of the often negative ideas surrounding Hijab. For instance, that wearing Hijab kills marriage and job prospects. Muslim activists must seek to dispel such myths.

I don't believe that above is true. I have seen several Hijabi professional sisters. As far as marriage is concerned, any good muslim would love to marry sister in Hijab..

35

AsslamoAlaikum...
Congratulations to the writer of Part II. This is a Great effort and appreciated from the depth of my heart. The words reflect deep faith, emotions of Muslimah and increases Eman of Muslimeen, Muslimat. This deen is in need of youth and every possible effort must be made to make them feel comfortable and understand the beauty of Islam. Youth converts are an asset and future of Deen. I applaude converts patience and their love towards learing and practicing Islam inspite of difficulties experienced. Finding Allah swt at this age has greater rewards..as said by Iqbal ...meaning( shani paghambri). Wasslam...JazaKulaKhair

36

very true chigate.
its so amazing to hear the stories of all the female converts,how they wear hijab and tolerate all kinds of abuses and insults from their own loved ones and from people outside. But they continue to pray for strength instead of giving up on their hijab. Its very courageous of them. Somehow, they're less insecure about wearing hijab than women who are born Muslims.

^^Believe to Understand^*^*

37

oh i was born muslim. umm.. if u thought i was convert that is

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-mehndi

my “convert” = non-hijabi to hijabi

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38

[quote]
Originally posted by farhana:
***I'm not denying the importance of hijaab or the high position women are given in Islam.*

All, I'm saying is that I will wear it when I'm good and proper and not because of a group of ignorant men/women telling me I should. Most of thesepeople regard hijaab to be the only "thing" that will get a woman in to heaven...what crap!!!
**
[/quote]

I agree!

Modesty dosn't come from your clothes, it's comes from your heart. It comes from the way you live your life and deal with others.

By all means, cover yourself as much as you want to... but remember that there are other islamic virtues which are just as important.

Just my humble opinion...

39

yes, it matters whats inside, but that doesn't change the fact at all that Allah has asked women to cover their Aura.

Lets not go round in circles shall we.

40

thank u mehndi.. that was enlightening, and something else i really am gonna consider it, but first i aim to read namaz 5x a day. one thing at a time.

cooldude its not easy to just start wearing a hijab, u guys dont have to go thru people staring at u etc, some people do think that u have changed totally.. ur not the person u were.. but inside ur still urself with the added insight of being a better person.
people start to treat u differently and all that. yes it is compulsory to wear it but u have to have total faith in everything in islam to take that step.