Guys i need your suggestion. I have already made up my mind but still i need to know that whether I am doing right or should I reconsider my decision.
I was good friends with one of my male class fellows since the past 6 years. We used to talk although not regularly but occasionally. He never dropped a hint that he is interested in me or not. We used to tease each other and had good friendship.
Almost two years back, he proposed me very informally. We were having chat on msn and I was asking about good universities for MBA and good job opportunities and he suggested me to continue my studies and get married. He gave his own example “agar meri wife shadi k baad studies continue kerna chahye gi tu mujhy koi aiteraz nahin hoga” and I said k “shadi mery haath main nahin hai, atleast I can plan my higher education” and he asked me why and I told him k “mery pass larka nahin hai shadi k liye haan agar mujhy achi job mil jaye tu Masters k liye paisy hoon gaye” and he said “mery bary main kia khayal hai.” First I took it as a joke and then he asked me properly and said he wants to send his parents to my house but needs my permission. So I said “ok send your parents.” After a week we met and talked about our marriage plan in details. Even after this we didn’t talk regularly. So I started having complains that he didn’t have time for me. But whenever I had complaints and discussed with him, he tried to deal with them very well. But even after 5 months he didn’t/couldn’t send his parents. Once he told me that he is waiting for his promotion (he got his promotion but not in black and white) then I never asked again about his work problems but always asked “tumhry parents kab ayen gaye”. I never tried to show my concern about his problems, always concern about my own problems. Even after that proposal and relationship, my way of talking with him never changed. I still talked to him like we are only friends and we didn’t have any special relationship.
After waiting for six months, I ended up that relationship by texting him “you don’t have time for me, I think its not working, you are not interested in me blah blah blah” he just sent me msg in return “if you don’t have faith in me then ok”.
After Breakup:
After three months i sent him msg again “why did you do this to me? etc” and he called me “main ney kuch nahin kiya you ended this relationship.” After few weeks we talked on msn again and he gave his reasons. He told me that he needs few years so that he could settle down before getting married. He asked me can I wait for two years? I didn’t give him any answer (I know I have messed up this relationship and have wasted every oppotunity he provided to me to continue the things). After a few weeks when we talked again, he asked me about this and again I didn’t give him any answer. Once we were talking on sms, he said “dekho ab main tmhy msgs ka reply bhi kerta hoon” (during our relationship I had complain that he didn’t reply me)
I don’t know but he has some strange attitude towards me. When I start sending him msgs regularly he stops replying me… he doesn’t contact me in Mar-Oct. But in Nov to Feb he starts talking to me whenever he gets time. He proposed me in Jan and in last two year (after breakup) on the same date he calls me up with some lame excuse like falan ka number dey do ya apni uni mian add ka poucho k kab hoon gaye (even though i know he is very bad in remembering dates).
**Now: **
My friends say that I should talk to him clearly that I am still interested in him (of course, I would first need to find out that he is not engaged or interested in someone). But I feel odd if after two years I talk to him about all this. In july on his birthday I sent him msg but he didn’t reply me. Occasionally I sent him fwd msgs to show my interest but he didn’t reply… (but he does not like fwd msgs).
Unfortunately I haven’t got any good proposal in fact I haven’t got any proposal in the last two years. I don’t know whats the problem. I am going to be 30 soon and I am not that ugly. I consider myself average looking girl but people think I underestimate myself (even he said this too when he proposed me). Sometimes I think about this k kia wohi meri kismat main hai jo meri ab tak shadi nahin ho saki.
Now what do you think should I contact him after 2 yrs and should I stop thinking about him. I have tried my level best to forget about him completely but I can’t. Even though I am working and studying and I have very tough schedule. But still when I lie down in night i can’t resist to think about him. He still is on my fb, on my chat lists, we sometimes do talk etc but we have never discussed this topic for the past 2 years.
My QUESTION:
Should I approach him ONCE AGAIN and ask him whether he is still interested in me or not? If yes, how to approach him without hurting my ego and damaging my izzat in his eyes?
. Still when i think about those 6 months i started crying… Is it really love or something else i don’t know. 
