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Re: In a mess and what to do....
Oh dear.. you got yourself in some trouble there , didnt you ...
You have only two options:
1- become emotionally strong and wise and say good bye to the first love and never ever look back ( slim chance of that happening ) , Perhaps reexploring your relationship with your husband is the key thing, think of the kids , this life that your husband is giving you ... ask yourself , if you are happy?
2- Get a divorce and marry this guy whose caught your fascination .. there is no point constantly keeping your husband in a dohka .. you will be hurting too many people very badly if they find out from else where or get to know your feelings ...
Good luck :(
Re: In a mess and what to do....
get away on a trip with your hubby and kids for an extended amount of time so you can see how wonderful your hubby is and what you would lose if you went ahead with this emotional, in your mind affair. It'll help you think things through
Re: In a mess and what to do…
murder much 
Sorry! 
Re: In a mess and what to do....
just cut off relations with your lover.Your husband deserves all the respect,if not love,for being the father of your kids and being loyal to you.and yeah,fear Allah too...as this emotional connection will eventually lead to a physical act.
Re: In a mess and what to do…
Re: In a mess and what to do....
At this point nothing else is as important as a secure home and unlimited amounts of happiness for your children. So you're going to have to find a way to separate yourself from this guy, and concentrate on your family.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
As Nisha suggested, keep away from this guy for a long time and then you will know whether your husband or this guy means more to you. If it's still the other guy, you can get a divorce, but that would be pretty messy. Everything depends on how much you love this other guy. And yeah, if you don't love your husband, its no use living all your life with him. Children are important too, but no one should sacrifice their entire life for their children. Just my two cents...
Re: In a mess and what to do....
Reflect over whether there is something lacking in your marriage....which is causing you to have this emotional affair.
1) If you were to divorce your husband............will this "love" of your life marry you? Would he accept you and your two kids? If he leaves you (which is a possibility) then he doesn't love you. Some guys find it easier to start an affair with a married woman because they know that they don't have to worry about committing to her. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, but it's another point to reflect over.
2) Also....let's say that you continue your emotional affair with this guy and also stay married to your husband. WHAT IF...at some point in the future the "love of your life" decides to get married to another woman? Since you're investing so much time and emotional energy into something that (at this point) does NOT have a concrecte direction or a future...................how would his decision to get married affect you? That would not only hurt....it would also complicate the situation further because now a fourth person will be involved. Yup, a fourth. Right now it's just YOU, your crush, and your husband....three people. When your crush's fiance/wife enters the picture...it will be a bigger mess.
3) Kids (even the really little ones) are more perceptive than adults give them credit for. You may not be aware of it....but maybe when you're around your husband....your body language/tone of voice/actions reflect your lack of interest in him......(which would only be fueled by your affair) and your husband and even your kids can pick up on this change in you.
4) Sometimes people are so "confident" in their emotions.....thinking they have the the streghth to control their feelings.......but it's not hard to lose that control and for one thing to lead to another. Right now it's just an emotional affair (which is still wrong)....but what guarantee do you have that it won't or can't turn into something more. And do you really think that the "love of your life" is going to restrict himself to an "emotional relationship"??? No. He has his physical/sexual needs.....he's not going to go through life without fulfilling them....and if he can't get it from you....he'll get it from someone else...maybe in the form of something halal...like a marriage.
You have a lot of thinking to do......you basically have to make a choice. Pick one: your husband or this guy. Can't have your cake and eat it as well. And regardless of how tense things may be with your husband...and how much of a lousy husband he might be....put yourself in his shoes. I doubt that you'd like it if your spouse were cheating on you (even if no sex was involved). If you want to remain married.....then let go of this guy and break all contact. If you want to be with your lover.....then divorce your husband. There's always the option of doing things with izzat/decency. What you're doing now...is a deception....and it's the deception that not only really hurts people...it's what makes it a gunnah. Best wishes.
Re: In a mess and what to do…
Don’t mind my ten pence yeah, but erm If u feel that u’d lyk to stay in ur marriage for sake of kids or izzat or watever else, maybe one way of letting go of this affair would be to seriously think about all the reasons why u cudn’t be with and marry this other guy in the first place. And aslo think bout wat reasons u married ur current husband as well might help to stick it thru. (if it wasn’t arranged for u that is)
Good luck hun, ur gonna need it i think x
Re: In a mess and what to do…
I think he is looking for free sex.:halo:
An emotional affair can lead to a physical one…
Re: In a mess and what to do....
I ended up with an emotional affair while married and with 2 kids....He is my first love...I never forgot him and he came back and all the emotions were just back... Now we both know it's not right and dont plan to have any thing physically.... But it's emotionally so strong... And I feel like dying inside...I don't know what to do....Or if I will ever get out of this love of my life....
So it's true, womenfolk never forget their first love. Now you have to decide who is dispensable, your husband or your former flame.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
Would he accept you and your two kids?
Why do you think her husband would hand over the kids to her lover?
Re: In a mess and what to do....
if you reveal under what circumstances your ex left you then it might be easier for us to give you a better suggestion otherwise ask yourself do you love your children more than your ex? I know you can play the card that its your life and you should have freedom to make your choices, but unfortunately our life is really not our life.
even if you tell your husband everything and decide to move to the previous chapter of your life, there is no guarantee (as there is never) that your ex will accepts you.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
Why do you think her husband would hand over the kids to her lover?
Even if her husband was to keep the children, the kids are still a part of the OP's life....she's their mother. And if she was to marry her "first love"....he would have to accept that the kids are a part of her life....that they would require a good deal of her time, energy.
When you don't have kids....it's easier to give more of that time to your significant other. When you do, that's not the case. And not everyone wants to/or is able to marry someone who has kids. That is what I meant when I made that point.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
leave kids with hubby and elope with your lover. RUN AWAY LYDIA, RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
Learn to cross your legs damnit.
Re: In a mess and what to do....
I ended up with an emotional affair while married and with 2 kids....He is my first love...I never forgot him and he came back and all the emotions were just back... Now we both know it's not right and dont plan to have any thing physically.... But it's emotionally so strong... And I feel like dying inside...I don't know what to do....Or if I will ever get out of this love of my life....
Are you for real ? I am saying that because you opened this thread 7 hours ago and have not responded to any posts although you got the first response within half hour of your post which is pretty fast response.
Re: In a mess and what to do…
Because opening a thread and not checking it after some time are signs of a troll… 
Re: In a mess and what to do....
When the answer to what is the right thing to do is obvious, why ask the people here? If you're looking for sympathy, sorry that's in short supply around here, given that you are the master of your own misery.
You chose to reconnect with an ex despite being married. You could have chosen to not meet him or have him re-enter your life, instead you chose to invite temptation back into your life. If it sucks to be you right now, then that's your own fault. Now suffer the consequences.