importing groom from home country :-\

Lifestyle Relationships
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This question is from all the guys who got married with girl living abroad. And then they also moved there to live with wife. Mostly this is seen that Pakistanis living abroad try hard finding their daughters match in Pakistan. No matter how much cultural difference there is. I feel it little weird. Not because of guys getting married but guys moving to other country after getting married. It is really akward. If parents think pakii guys are really good why they don’t send their daughters to pak :naraz:

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

they do…i know a few girls who married guys from Pakistan and then moved to live with their husbands in Pakistan. those numbers may be small but they are there :slight_smile:

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

One of my friend recently got married after having seven years long distance love affair. He divorced his wife after four months because of this is chikh chikh issue. Girl didn’t want to live in pak. Guy couldn’t manage to leave pak. The girl then imported groom to Holland with the power of nationality greed :d: Allah Allah khair Allah. Bhala if you don’t want to move back why they get married. How come ladies want to have an imported pet husband :naraz:

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

I’m sorry but dating for 7 years and getting divorced after 4 months? There’s many more problems here than the simple issue of an “imported” spouse.

And seriously, hwo demeaning is “imported pet husband”? a spouse is a spouse, be they from the home country or another country. :rolleyes:

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

During 7 years of the affair, your friend never asked the girl whether or not she's willing to settle in Pakistan? Did she lie to him and tell him that she'll move to Pakistan after marriage? OR did you friend know before marrying her that she expected HIM to move?

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Paheli ji how many of lovy dovey couple fulfill their ikthay jeenay marney k promises after getting married. Girl wanted to be with him no matter what. Than suddenly jab mohabbat ka chot ultra she felt cultural difference and same pak is backward country issue. I don't get why they get married at first place.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

I agree with Sara...this couple sounds like they had far more issues than just the whole importing the guy concept. First of all, if a guy wants to move to the foreign country its his choice so the whole concept of "imported pet husband" is foolish. The topic of who has to move where needs to be discussed clearly and resolved before anything solid happens so your friend should've been mature enough to snap out of the whole lovey dovey dream and thought about that before making such a committment. I have seen several cases of guys moving abroad or girls moving back home. Both parties choose to do so therefore its not the girl's fault because the guys also know what they are getting into from the beginning.

I don't appreciate the fact that you being a female yourself are choosing to go against females instead of understanding their point of view. Trust me...this won't earn you the respect from guys if you are looking for that :)

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Why is so much issue of place? :smack:

So many posts on this fake issue.

If love and commitment is there, place has no meaning at all.

Pakistan, Britain, US, Canada, this city, that village or whatever. Doesn’t matter if there is no intention to live together.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Agreed!!

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

well said, totally agreed.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

do you also find it equally weird when Pakistani born, bred galz are imported abroad?
regardless of the gender of import/export or direction … Don’t you think the said import/export occurs with consent of the imported/exported party??

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

How do they 'import' people?

Sealed containers, so offensive gasses don't leak?

Do Excise and Taxation department get notified?

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

:D you make an excellent point!
In this era of Political correctness, funny that most folks don't find the terms like imported bride/groom offensive.
agreed also with your comment about relationships being more about love and commitment then geography.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Place is of great importance in arranged marriages. If I am in ‘love’ with a guy, I can live with him anywhere in the world. But when my parents are looking for a guy for me, I would like to continue to live where I am already living to be with my family since they the the ones whom I love more than my future husband whom I don’t even know yet.

For children born and bred outside Pakistan, especially in UK, US and Canada, moving to Pakistan is a big culture shock. Many of them can’t live in our ‘backward’ country for few days, let alone their whole lives. We all know what problems nadz is going through after moving to Pakistan after her marriage. Besides, our country doesn’t seem to be an ideal place to live in this world (sad but true), so parents who are already settled abroad think its a good idea to ‘import’ the husband for their daughter rather than send their daughter to live in Pakistan, when they don’t find a reasonable match for their daughter in the country they live. On the other hand, many guys in Pakistan would like to move abroad because of good opportunities and they don’t mind using marriage as a means to settle abroad.

So the need is on both the sides, the girl as well as the guy. I really find all this wierd. I think, the guys would lose their self-respect when they rukhsat to be with their wives and it is obviously known by both the parties the ‘real’ reason for marriage. One of the girls I know is extremely obese but she got a smart and educated guy because of her UK citizen. The guy is now settled with his wife in UK. I feel there must always be some awkwardness between husband and wife in such marriages. Besides, there is higher risk that the guy might walk out of marriage when he gets his stay.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\


girls have to move anyway.and its not wierd. Other house, other city or other country its happening since ages. Probably "Ghar damaadi" Will also be part of routine after few years as we see raise in number of nikkamay larkey looking for short cut. And Paheli ji what I have to do with respect.I Will earn from guys here. Amino not looking for potential right on g.s :snooty : respect or no respect I ain't looking for it. :p

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

GS monthly 'imported spouse' thread. Why not have a whole section dedicated to it?

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

importing a groom from pakistan --> story of my life in some years uff lol :p

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

the entire premise of your objection is based on cultural biases/stereotypes and multiple presumptions. your opinions seem fairly devoid of real life experience and seems centered around a few anecdotes drawn from your own set of acquaintances ... nonetheless you are entitled to them.

life is not all black and/or white.

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Couples usually re-locate several times.. work and all. Why make the 'place' such a big issue. As long as he/she is being provided well with the basics why does it matter..

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Re: importing groom from home country :-\

Plenty! I'm having a "love marriage" myself and majority of the people I know in real life are also having or have had love marriage. And issues such as where they will live, careers, kids etc. are discussed before hand and are not "empty" promises. These aren't even "promises".....these are AGREEMENTS between 2 mature adults who want to spend the rest of their lives together. Nikah is a contract....and just like any other contract, certain conditions must be agreed on between the 2 parties (whether its a love or arranged marraige). In my humble opinion, people who do this as " ikthay jeenay marney k promises " weren't mature enough for marraige to begin with.

IF the girl agreed to live in Pakistan after marriage and she "changed her mind" immediately after marriage....while being fully aware that this was a deal-breaker for the guy....then yes, I agree that he was deceived to a certain point. BUT....here is what I don't understand......for guys AND girls for whom location is such a big issue....why even bother looking outside your country?! In your scenario, since your friend is to adamant in living in Pakistan that he'll divorce his wife of 4 months....a woman he was supposedly in love with for 7 YEARS.....well then why didn't he CHOOSE to find a wife in Pakistan?

And as someone else mentioned.....guys from the U.S. "import" girls....so why is that ok? You statement that girls have to "do it anyway" is not a good defense to your argument. Yes, girls have had to move to different cities/countries for marriage for a LONG time.....but on the other hand, MEN have had to move for studies/jobs to different cities/countries forever too. It's not like men are allergic to re-locating to a different country!

On a side note.....just as on FYI, I didn't make the comments about "respect"....that was another poster. :)