Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Thankyou everyone for your help!!
Bluebells your list seems pretty extensive but I will out some of the most important questions.
Some people asked to ask about religion which I will ask directly myself, but it actually came up in discussion as his own father bought it up saying what they do in his family.
It seems that I am slightly more religious than him. He is all about the 5 pillars but still does not pray 5 times a day whereas I do. So I am slightly more religious.
Paheli I will ask him about living with parents, although he has an older brother who the parents already live with mostly but i will deffo have to discuss my own parents although I also have a brother but need to cover it just incase!
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
I dont know how many of you proposing these questions are actually married, but please do come out of your dreams and illusions. I would not ask any of these question simply because of two reasons.1. How do you even know if their answers are really true ? They could be telling you what you want to hear!2. If knowing a person well could guarantee a happy marriage, all marriages in the west would be successful.And also, please remember that there is a fine line between getting to know someone and interrogating.
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
What kind of lifestyle do you envision us having when we are newly weds? Where are we living? What is our weekday routine like? What do we do on weekends? Do we take vacations? Where?
What kind of lifestyle do you envision 5 years down the line? Where do you see yourself in your career? What role do you envision for your spouse? What will your family look like at that point? Where will we be living? What is our daily routine like? What do we do on weekends? Do we take vacations? What do we do?
What kind of lifestyle do you envision in our old age? Where are we living? Who is near us?
If you have an unexpected hour of freedom how do you spend it? sleeping, reading, watching tv, surfing the web, shopping, watching a movie, walking/running, exercising?
You need to get a sense of your lifestyles and how compatible they are. What are points of flexibility and what arenât?
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Totally agree. So many questions are just wrong to ask and expect him to stick around. Main issues which are important to you should be targetted and SERIOUSLY woman, he seems reasonable.
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Thatâs why I think you shouldnât be asking like an interrogation. It should be more just asking what kind of lifestyle they envision in their future. Listen to what he says, and respond with further questions based on that, to get to know him better. And based on that you can figure out whether your expectations are compatible or if something needs to be clarified.
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Ask as many questions as you may like but whats the guarantee that answers you are getting are true?
After our first meeting, I personally asked just one question from then-lerkee and now-wife before asking my mom to formally ask for rishta and that was âAre you willingly saying yes to my proposal?â
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Wearing a seatbelt doesnât guarantee that you wonât die in a car crash. But that doesnât mean that you donât wear one each time you get in the car b/c it decreases your odds of dying.
Not actually âmarriedâ but Iâve been with my fiance for almost 3 years. We got engaged after dating for 2.5 years. At least for me, many of the questions I listedâŚare things my fiance and I have discussed over time. If my fiance and I did not agree on many of the pointsâŚwe would not be engaged today. Unfortunately I donât think the OP has 2.5 years to âget to knowâ the guy(and his family)âŚshe has a much shorter deadline.
Does me knowing all this right now âguaranteeâ that my marriage will be successful and that I will not get divorced? No.
Does is significantly decrease the amount of arguments I will have with my fiance after marriage? Yes.
Does it decrease the odds of my marriage failing? In my humble opinion, yes.
I donât think any of us are trying to say that the OP can âguaranteeâ that she will have a happy, successful marriage if she finds out all these details before baat paaki (at least Iâm not!). I think the point of finding out all these issues which has the potential to tear a couple apart after marriage is to DECREASE the odds of divorce. There are absolutely no guarantees when it comes to life.
As for the guy lyingâŚof course there is a chance that he will lie! AgainâŚno guarantees. But there is also that chance that he will not lie and be honest. After thinking about the questions and finding her OPs views on certain thingsâŚwho knowsâŚmaybe the guy himself might decide that theyâre not compatible! And worst case scenario, letâs say the guy lies about something right now that causes that marriage to fall apart in the futureâŚat least the OP at that time wonât beat herself thinking âOnly if I had asked him before marriage this MIGHT have been prevented.â.
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
Ask him about his friends, and how he spends his free time. A person with many friends is likely to be accommodating and easy to get along with. Meet him with his friends if you can.
Career - Ask him about what he does. Does he come across as passionate? You want someone with ambition - someone who can look after the family financially, if you are going to stay at home and look after the kids.
Is he nice to his parents and family? Is he nice to your parents and does he treat them with respect?
Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta
You can not subject them to lie detector , if someone wants to mess up their own or other personâs life there is nothing which can prevent it.
People change even after they get married , so there are no guarantees that a marriage will be successful on its own , it takes effort , passion , compassion , patience, compromises to make a marriage successful.
was referring to this reply as brilliant