Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta

[Paheli00]

Re: Important list of questions to ask before saying yes to a rishta

@MissFreudian

I dont know how many of you proposing these questions are actually married, but please do come out of your dreams and illusions. I would not ask any of these question simply because of two reasons.1. How do you even know if their answers are really true ? They could be telling you what you want to hear!2. If knowing a person well could guarantee a happy marriage, all marriages in the west would be successful.And also, please remember that there is a fine line between getting to know someone and interrogating.

Wearing a seatbelt doesn’t guarantee that you won’t die in a car crash. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t wear one each time you get in the car b/c it decreases your odds of dying.

Not actually “married” but I’ve been with my fiance for almost 3 years. We got engaged after dating for 2.5 years. At least for me, many of the questions I listed…are things my fiance and I have discussed over time. If my fiance and I did not agree on many of the points…we would not be engaged today. Unfortunately I don’t think the OP has 2.5 years to “get to know” the guy(and his family)…she has a much shorter deadline.

Does me knowing all this right now “guarantee” that my marriage will be successful and that I will not get divorced? No.

Does is significantly decrease the amount of arguments I will have with my fiance after marriage? Yes.

Does it decrease the odds of my marriage failing? In my humble opinion, yes.

I don’t think any of us are trying to say that the OP can “guarantee” that she will have a happy, successful marriage if she finds out all these details before baat paaki (at least I’m not!). I think the point of finding out all these issues which has the potential to tear a couple apart after marriage is to DECREASE the odds of divorce. There are absolutely no guarantees when it comes to life.

As for the guy lying…of course there is a chance that he will lie! Again…no guarantees. But there is also that chance that he will not lie and be honest. After thinking about the questions and finding her OPs views on certain things…who knows…maybe the guy himself might decide that they’re not compatible! And worst case scenario, let’s say the guy lies about something right now that causes that marriage to fall apart in the future…at least the OP at that time won’t beat herself thinking “Only if I had asked him before marriage this MIGHT have been prevented.”.