Why aren’t they evaluated with the same scrutiny and suspicion as immigrant husbands. You never see a bride being questioned or commented on that she’s in it for a green card.
Re: Immigrant Wives
^I think the reason for this may be that people assume that women will stay married (even if they initially only entered the marriage for immigration purposes) since they have a bit more to lose than men. It's far easier for a divorced man to remarry than it is for a woman, so a man can marry for immigration purposes and get a divorce later, confident that his divorce won't count against him and that he won't have trouble remarrying. If a woman marries someone solely for immigration purposes and gets a divorce later, she would have a bit more trouble remarrying (as society views divorced women more negatively than men), leading people to assume that the woman will prefer stay married even after getting residency and eliminating the need to be cautious.
Another reason may be society's perception of women. Society perceives men as being more devious than women and tends to view women as more "innocent" despite this not being the case. People may be less suspicious of a bride because they have the romanticised notion that women aren't capable of being so devious and calculated as to do such things as marry solely for immigration.
Re: Immigrant Wives
They should be, however, people tend to think that the women are same as they were few decades ago. But now, there are quite a few, who had come for sole purpose of getting immigration and dumped the men as soon as they got it.
Re: Immigrant Wives
It's far easier for a divorced man to remarry than it is for a woman, so a man can marry for immigration purposes and get a divorce later, confident that his divorce won't count against him and that he won't have trouble remarrying. If a woman marries someone solely for immigration purposes and gets a divorce later, she would have a bit more trouble remarrying (as society views divorced women more negatively than men), leading people to assume that the woman will prefer stay married even after getting residency and eliminating the need to be cautious.
^ This is the main reason. Its not difficult for a divorced man to re-marry in the desi community. Even if a child comes out of the marriage, many men will leave the child with wife and move on with their lives. Things aren't so easy for a divorced desi woman in the community....especially if she also has a child.
Also, money is a factor too. Often women immigrating from Pakistan don't have the education/work experience to be able to walk away from a marriage and fully support herself. Not an issue for a man since the wife and her family expects him to start earning enough to support a family as soon as possible so they're supportive of his efforts to further his education/career from day 1.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Why aren't they evaluated with the same scrutiny and suspicion as immigrant husbands. You never see a bride being questioned or commented on that she's in it for a green card.
now we're talking
Re: Immigrant Wives
This thread is already going places.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Even guys who stay with their wife and have a happy marriage and are sincere get gossiped on that he got a green card out of her. We even give these marriages a name "green card marriage".
But when women come over from Pakistan, those aren't called "green card marriage"
Re: Immigrant Wives
Traditionally men are expected to provide for their wives. Getting your wife a green card is considered part of that duty (to provide). That might be one reason women, who get green cards out of marriages, aren't stigmatized.
On the flip side a man getting a green card out of marriage is considered emasculating.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Why aren't they evaluated with the same scrutiny and suspicion as immigrant husbands. You never see a bride being questioned or commented on that she's in it for a green card.
It is all about stats. It is like saying why should smokers pay a higher life insurance premiums.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Lol what?
Re: Immigrant Wives
Is this another spin off from the importing wives thing being so bad and slim pickings for the in house girls.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Simple:
Men have more options and society knows this well...the chances of a man walking away from a marriage even with kids and remarrying is higher than that of a woman in a similar situation.
Women have less options so society does not suspect them the way they would a man.
It happens though...I do know of a few marriages where the man was used almost brutally by the wife and left when she got her green card.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Yes, I agree with Reha above, and also that these days, there's women using a green card marriage to get in as a stepping stone to be close to a boyfriend or for career advancement. I personally know 2 such cases.
The times are changing, slowly but surely.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Of course there are many women who have also committed GC fraud however women usually rely on the man for financial purposes and usually are not independant enough to make the move from their home country and then create a financial security for themselves here so quickly to be able to leave the guy. However its not unheard of and has certainly happened in many cases. It just a more common thing in men.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Simple:
Men have more options and society knows this well...the chances of a man walking away from a marriage even with kids and remarrying is higher than that of a woman in a similar situation.
Women have less options so society does not suspect them the way they would a man.
It happens though...I do know of a few marriages where the man was used almost brutally by the wife and left when she got her green card.
Yes, I agree with Reha above, and also that these days, there's women using a green card marriage to get in as a stepping stone to be close to a boyfriend or for career advancement. I personally know 2 such cases.
The times are changing, slowly but surely.
Totally agree with Niks and Reha!! Times are definitely changing. I know of one such example that is playing out right now...guys family secured a rishta with a girl from Pakistan who wanted to be a doctor. The girls family kept stressing that her education not be halted and that she be allowed to practice. The grooms family had no issue with that at all. They got married, she got her green card through him, she passed her USMLE, secured her residency, is now well on her way to becoming an anesthesiologist and promptly dumped him. She's moved two states away, called her own parents over from Pakistan and has served him with divorce papers.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Because immigrant wives are usually not educated, skilled and street smart enough to leave their husbands and stand on their own feet. Most are the homemaker/ unambitious /docile types.
Women who marry primarily for their spouses citizenship are more harmless than men who do the same.
Thats why there are countless of them around but we dont raise an eyebrow.
Women also have more self respect than men in this regard and usually cringe at the thought of being chosen for their income, stability, citizenship etc. The term 'green card marriage' is not as emascluting to the man as much as it reflects negatively on the woman. A woman is supposed to be acceptable to men because of who she is, where she is..not for what she does or can do for a man.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Totally agree with Niks and Reha!! Times are definitely changing. I know of one such example that is playing out right now...guys family secured a rishta with a girl from Pakistan who wanted to be a doctor. The girls Danika kept stressing that her education not be halted and that she be allowed to practice. The grooms family had no issue with that at all. They got married, she got her green card through him, she passed her USMLE, secured her residency, is now well on her way to becoming an anesthesiologist and promptly dumped him. She's moved two states away, called her own parents over from Pakistan and has served him with divorce papers.
That is nasty...plain old nasty
Re: Immigrant Wives
Totally agree with Niks and Reha!! Times are definitely changing. I know of one such example that is playing out right now...guys family secured a rishta with a girl from Pakistan who wanted to be a doctor. The girls family kept stressing that her education not be halted and that she be allowed to practice. The grooms family had no issue with that at all. They got married, she got her green card through him, she passed her USMLE, secured her residency, is now well on her way to becoming an anesthesiologist and promptly dumped him. She's moved two states away, called her own parents over from Pakistan and has served him with divorce papers.
You know, could agree with me as well.
Immigrant Wives
It's not common but it happens. My husbands friend from med school, who comes from a very well off family, married a girl from med school (they all went to med school in Pakistan). The girls family wasn't well off at all but they really wanted her to practice in US because it's more money. She eventually passowified this guy (he fell for it cause he was heart broken from another failed relationship and didn't see the red flags). They got married, he took her to the states, paid for all her exams, tickets to interviews, etc (paid thousands of dollars for her that her parents would have never been able to afford), and she got residency. When she got residency she also found out she was pregnant. At that time they were having a lot of fights and issues and she left him. She started residency, had the baby and got a divorce from him. Now she is calling her parents over AND she got married again to someone she met in her program. The guy gave up all legal rights to his child, and married another doctor from Pakistan :$ (this one has never been married before). So there are girls who do it, but I think they are not the norm.
Re: Immigrant Wives
Giving up parental right is huge. This statement does not makes the girl look evil in general public's eye. People will always believe her story.