im worried i wont get married....mummy isnt helping.

Chipkali · July 28, 2009, 12:40pm

You are not old.

A size 12 UK isn’t fat.

And if you want a real life story, when I first met my husband, I was neither skinny, fair, nor tall. I needed to lose a good 15 pounds (which oddly enough, happened after “baath pakki” because I slowly started adopting healthier habits).

And yet he still liked me. Because believe it or not, there are men out there who don’t think that beautiful can only come in a slim, tall and fair package. There are men out there who look for personality and intelligence in addition to their perception of beauty.

In short, there are some really decent people out there.

Wait for them. Get away from these people who are basing everything on your looks. You don’t want anything to do with these people, trust me.

If you want to be present yourself in a more attractive way or lose weight, do it for YOU. Do it because you want to be healthier, because you want to boost your self confidence. Don’t do it for someone else or for the sake of getting more rishtas. That has a tendency to backfire.

And stop worrying. You’ve been through a lot of emotional upheaval. Concentrate on making positive changes in your life for yourself. The rest will fall into place, Inshallah.

Oh - and mothers have a tendency to “go on.” They are mothers. They worry. It’s part of the job description. We’ll probably do it too when we have kids. She’s not trying to make it worse for you…she’s worried and she has a right to be considering the state of things in rishta land these days. Whenever she “goes on” at you, smile, say “Yes Ammi, I’m trying. I love you and I know you’re only telling me this out of concern and I’ll try my best.” Smile, nod, and let it go.

:k: Brilliant post! Totally agree.