My due date is only 4.5 weeks away. This is my first baby, and I am so scared! I am pretty much alone where I live. I have some friends here, but no one close enough that they would come and help me out. My husband is only able to take a week off after the baby is born. My mom is not able to come and stay with me, so my MIL is coming. Im not worried about that, she is a very nice lady, and I know she will help out. I am actually more scared of the delivery and all the unknown that surrounds the delivery of a baby.
Last week my husband and I went for the hospital tour, and when they were showing us the delivery rooms, I got so scared I started to get teary eyed. I am one of those people who likes to have everything planned out, and when things are WAY beyond my control, it makes me really nervous, and I think thats why Im so scared. I try to read/listen to Surah Maryam everyday to calm my nerves, and I pray and do dua for not only myself but all the girls here trying to conceive. Its just not calming me down.
If anyone has any specific duas they want me to make for them, please PM me and let me know.
Also, anyone have any tips on how to make this easier or make me less scared.
I am due in 10 weeks but it is always on my mind. Recite ayat ul kursi as much as possible btw contractions ..it will protect you and your child Insha Allah
The labour stories makes me so scared! I don’t know what will happen to me! I am scared of needles, I have needle phobia:(.. what would you prefer vaginal birth or c section?
Trying to conceive, pregnancy, labor, etc, they all prepare us for the fact that we are not in control. We can plan, organize, anticipate to make things as simple and easy as possible, but things are not in our control – the child is in control now
It is perfectly normal to be scared. You will see just how strong and capable you are as you become a mother. You will surprise yourself. Wishing you and baby all the best!
Im also having my first child but time is quite far , I knw it will be painful but for few moments or hours but after that i would be happy to have my baby with me which makes me relaxed n happier May ALLAH bless every child n mother . ameen. ALLAH has already strengthen us thats y we r carrying blessings. Just read Quran with Translation , u will feel content.
my story! I am just too scared of everything! baby due in 7 wks! i cant see blood. I have blood phobia. I cant bear an injection without being fainted! I just dont know how will I survive! but all I do is I pray to Allah! This kind of soothes me!
Don’t listen to horror birth stories and keep in mind that millions of women went through this and they suirvived, so you will get the strenght to bear the pain too.
^ As mentioned above, millions and millions of women go through labor and delivery.
Our bodies were made to carry a baby and to deliver it. That is life. It is a very daunting experience, but also a very beautiful one. You can plan all you want, but Allah swt is the best of all planners.
Don’t read any more birth stories, concentrate on yourself and the upcoming birth of a long awaited beautiful baby.
Keep calm, and don’t freak out when you are in labour. Concentrate on what you are doing. Yes, it can/will be painful, but if it were so bad why do we go ahead and have another child? Our bodies and our minds forget. Ponder over this after your delivery why Allah swt says 'Jannat is at the feet of all Mothers " x 3 !
You will do fine, iA, as will all the other Mums to be! Hang in there…
Thank you all for your words of encouragement!! I am just going to continue to pray, do dua and read/listen to Quran as that is the only thing that really soothes me.
I was scared too but when you’re there and everything is happening, you just go with the flow. You find hidden strength in yourself. When I started to panic during my C-section, the word SubhanAllah popped into my head out of nowhere, in the middle of my panic, and I held on to it and kept reciting it over and over. I cannot tell you quickly I calmed down after that. All of a sudden, there was calm and peace and before I knew it, he was out. Childbirth is the biggest miracle, honestly. You will be amazed at how things will work out in your benefit insha’Allah. Have faith and be strong. And focus on the fact that in just a month, you’ll be holding your wee baby in your arms and marvelling at the little person you made It’s worth every single second of labour and delivery, I promise you.
you dont see blood while delivering a baby.. at least I dont remember seeing any even though my husband still gets nightmares about it as he saw the blood gushing out when they broke my water! so yeah dont panic!
I was very afraid of pain too.. i did pretty well.. somehow you find this strength to do and closer you get the delivery date, your mind starts preparing for it.. I was afraod of pain but being in pain for 9 months due to a horrible pregnancy, I was ready for labor.. I couldnt wait for the baby to arrive.. for me pain was bearable up until 8 cm.. then I asked for epidural, the midwives were reluctant and asked me to keep going but I was exhausted after being in labor for 30+ hours so I gave up.. took the epi and then I was out. I ended up with a c section so technically I didnt feel a thing but I am sure epi would have helped even if I had to push! you can do it.. all mommies do it
Thank you gtg for your lovely input! God to know tht mommy doesnt need to see the blood! sigh! feeling relieved! I am sure inshAllah Allah will give me strength too to bear the pain. I am also kinda fed up of pregnancy nausea, uneasiness, pains so I am also hoping my jaanu bacha even before my due date!
Why did you end up with c sec even being dilated till 8cm? :S
Apparently he didnt want to move down as fast as mommy dilated in last few hours.. I went from 4cm to 8cm in couple of hours with intense contractions!!!
his heart beat dipped 3 times in 10 secs so they decided to take him out ASAP
honestly, I didnt mind labor/birth or the newborn phase of my baby.. I hated my pregnancy! I could have ten more if I didnt need to be pregnant for 9 months
Yes as everybody said nothing is in your control at that time you have to go with the flow and you really can give birth. I was like you to plan n i have a very less pain threshold but for me my epidural worn out at only 4 cm and i had to go all natural at the end which was really painful. But as said we can go through it. Good thing is that its just that one time pain so it comes and goes. But the thing to be prepared is recovery. I never knew i will have a 3rd degree tear and it takes kinda 3 months to recover. You are lucky your Mil is comming me n my hubby were all alone for 3 weeks and then my Mil came over. I dont want to scare you but remain prepared for the worst and InshAllah you will get it easy.
Inshallah all will be ok, my delivery was extremely tough, and I will be honest one of the things that made everything worse was my own anxiety.
I kept thinking worse and worst happen (pushing for countless hours, forceps, emergency c section, baby stuck in pelvis, child not breathing after he was born, me in the hospital without my baby for more than a month and more) these were all my fears and all came true, I truly feel I didnt trust Allah at that time, and when I did, I got better. Keep calm, I would suggest, go through Allah’s names pick one that you feel closest to your heart and read that do dhikr when you get anxious, Allah will be there with you every second of it TRUST ME ON THAT. Breath, focus on your breathing both in and out, it is meditating and calms down BIG time. Keep asking Allah to make it easy for you.
When I got sick after my delivered nobody though (even doctors were unsure because I was in hospital for really long time) I will make it through but once I was calm and told me self Allah has put me in this situation he is watching over and he will help me I started getting better. Ask me now after my trauma if I want to have another child and go through everything all over again, hell ya
One of the things my sister did which helped her in the last 2-3 weeks of her pregnancy was taking warm bath every night for 7-10 minutes, she is practicing physician but still she asked her doctor, if it is ok to do that, before starting her bath routine. Please dont assume it is ok for everybody to take warm bath, ASK YOUR DOCTOR if you can take warm bath, it is suppose to relax the mother and prepare the muscles for delivery. I bought my sister huge non skid bath mat to make sure should doesn’t slip when she steps out of her jacuzzi (I know for a fact she didnt turn on the jets in the jaccuzi, another thing to keep in mind) this was her second child she pushed the baby out in 30 minutes
Oh a very imp thing i just got in mind get a print out or write by hand Surah Ishiqaq and tie it around your belly. This is to speed up things. I did that and my whole labour was 9 hours including 20 mins of pushing which i good as first time mom. Also there is a very wrong concept of ppl saying that YOU WILL KNOW THE LABOUR PAINS… sorry to say but i never knew i was having labour pains. The pains which i got as described by other ppl were false pains. I had a back labour which initially i thought was a severe version of my usual prego backpains. So do call in and get checked by hospital in your last days if you feel that you are having pain.
^^ Thanks for the tip. I will do that for sure. I think as the time comes closer, I am a little less scared. Almost everything has been done now, the only thing left to do now is pack my hospital bag and wait.
I was exactly at your place at the start of my pregnancy, I think somehow I will cope with the pain but I dont like being out of control and that is the most dreadful part, but for the last few weeks I have calmed down alot, I am due this week and with all the false starts I just want my baby to be here as long as its healthy and happy I will be fine. I know its easier said than done but try and relax as being a first time mum (InshAllah) myself I am taking it as an experience.
In UK we have this programme called one born every minute few months ago I couldnt bear to watch it for more than a minute now it doesnt phase me out at all I sit there munching on my snacks watching babies poping out left, right, centre ;). Just remember baby has to come out one way or another we cannot control that so what is the point of worrying now we had a good run for 9 months. Now just make dua that our babies are healthy Ameen.
but after that i would be happy to have my baby with me which makes me relaxed n happier 
May ALLAH bless every child n mother . ameen. ALLAH has already strengthen us thats y we r carrying blessings. Just read Quran with Translation , u will feel content.
It’s worth every single second of labour and delivery, I promise you.
