[quote=““bigdaddy””]
Aaaw…come on now. That post of mine was of medium length compared to my usual “dissertations.” Tsk tsk tsk…surely…even YOU…could have managed that.
I don't agree with most of the posters here.
Immune you are certainly right at what you feel. I don't know what the image is like but I'll be offended too. There is a big difference in fitting at work & respecting & getting others to respect our cultural & religious values.
Just because we live in the West doesn't mean we have to act like others to blend in with them. Funny thing is I have never come across Gora people who think you are uptight or rigid if you don't participate in certain things they do. They totally respect it.
My only question is how would your hubby or other female posters' husbands feel if anyone of us ladies had a picture like this with our male colleague. I can only imagine. Same thing should be for the husbands too.
Sit with your hubby & talk to him about this in a very calm manner & let him know that you are clearly offended & feel disrespected that he dismissed your feelings saying it was all casual. Most probably he will understand that.
I am sure you are not advocating to perceive your husbands friends as lose (without ever meeting them) and start off on the wrong foot by treating them as foes.
Then do the the right action by mingling with his friends, but with wrong intentions of just just keeping an eye on your man or worst to make him jealous. Why not meet them with right intentions, to make an effort to make friends out of your husbands friends/colleagues?
bigdaddy and psq,
Really there is no reason to go all offensive in this discussion. I see it from both of your viewpoints......
psq is saying that if you perceive your husband's office colleagues as foes then get out there and be in their faces so that you can understand them and they can respect your relationship with your husband......hence the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".....
let's keep in mind that phrases like this one are not meant to be taken literally.
In that case, I'm gonna try and read it.
Aaaw......come on now. That post of mine was of medium length compared to my usual "dissertations." Tsk tsk tsk.....surely....even YOU.....could have managed that.
@ Muzna: No, I was not ticked off when he showed me the pics. I got mad cuz when I said this one pic is really inappropriate, he laughed it off and then uploaded that pic alongwith the others, he could have skipped that one since it was kind of obscene.
@ aahmed: He knows how much I trust him thats why he showed me the pics, why else would he show me. And I do trust him, I just didn't like him laughing it off, then uploading that pic. He disregarded my feelings when I commented on it and when he has a wife, he shouldn't even have let that girl pose in that way... whether that girl was drunk or not. He could have just laughed and said my wife's not gonna like that, could you just stand here with me instead of whatever she was doing. Its like the more leeway i'm giving him and trusting him, he's flaunting it in my face. There has to be a limit and I'm going to establish that from now on. I'm going to all his office parties from now on and I'll see how he reacts when his co-workers come and hug me, he will probably not ask me to come anymore and then I won't let him go either. Tough Love's gotta work, no?
immune, you're obviously going through some kind of culture shock. I don't know where you guys call home and what your background is, but this is pretty standard in North America. I still maintain that you are over reacting and your over reacting is what will cause friction in your marriage, not a coworker drooping over your husband for 10 seconds for a picture that doesn't mean anything.
Wow!! Interesting replies and even more interesting fights.
I slept on it, then had a nice rational talk with my husband, who agreed with me, hugged me, called me a silly girl and said “next time you just come with me and stand with me so no other girl can drape herself over me”, Problem solved.
But OMG, some of the replies here are mind boggling. People here are so judgmental 
.
…so cute, I told you so.Aww that’s sweet!!!
see sometimes we post things…and they seem so bad…but once we talk to our spouses, it gets alot easier… Glad things worked otu for u.
If you're a desi who chooses to live in a gori land, then there are things that you will need to learn how to deal with. In gori-land, hugs and kisses are routine and sometimes expected. But completely without sexual overtone. Both women and men are far more demonstrative and physical, conversation and interaction does involve touching (again, without sexual overtone). Drinking alcohol is viewed as a normal (but NOT required) activity.
So, the hubby who posts his photos online and shows them to his wife, this is a guy who is just "doing as the romans do", just fitting in. I'd be far more worried about the guy who doess not invite the wife and does not show the photos (or worse, tried to hide them!).
You have nothing to worry about. Other than your non-desire to fit in. If you get so upset over this kind of thing, then you should have accompanied your husband and guarded him. You need to get over your repugnance of the smell of beer - heck no one is going to ask you to actually consume it. So maybe open a nearby window or wear more perfume. Or...dont go at all and be secure in the knowledge that your loving husband will doccument his evening and publish the photographs.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh here. I just feel for this poor guy, getting beat up for trying so hard to fit in, doing a good job of it but then getting beat up by his wife who wants to live desi style. Desi-style really cant work in the west without a bit of acceptance. You dont have to partake but you really do need to participate (and note, participation does not require you to forego any or your morals or restrictions).
couldnt have agreed more!
Re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
"doing as the romans do" ?! seriously? what hogwash explanation.
glad to see the OP was wiser than most here in sorting it out.
Didn't the Romans ingest a whole lot of lead on a daily basis?
Gives a whole new meaning to "do as the Romans do."