yes if it will help you get it out of the system. do it.
mods - TAKHLIAA please…go and moderate cafe for a few minutes.
Well, I'm reading everyone's opinions and I'm getting all confused here. So some people think this behavior is okay, its platonic, etc etc. So would you people be okay with your spouses doing the same thing? .
hmmm
if you are not feeling ok then this whole episode was NOT "ok".
There are no other ways around.
He better explain and If you insist he better stop.
OR you can become that bakri-type wife and stay happy with the pay checks, he brings, and let him enjoy chicks.
But I say you deserve better then that.
I will just talk to him and let him know that I’m upset and next time I’ll just suck it up and go with him I guess. :hinna:
Mr Monk, seems like you’re trying to get a rise out of me. Only he doesn’t bring the paycheck, I work too.
P.S. Half of the people on this forum don’t even seem to be getting why I’m upset 
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
He needs to respect your feeling.
He needs to make you comfortabe. Rather then testing your limits to see how far you would let him go.
Stop him!!!!
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
^How? Would it be better to get mad at him and muun sujaa kar beth jaoon? Or would it be better to calmly talk to him about it?
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
How is your relationship with your husband? Do you guys love each other? Do you feel he loves you or do you feel he is constantly looking for the next best thing?
The thing is, if you go to these office parties...you have to expect some physical contact like that. People consume alcohol, let go of their inhibitions and do things they normally wouldnt do...like hugging a co-worker or posing in a suggestive manner.
He asked you to go and you didnt go. He has offered to take you and you refused to make your presence known as the wife. What were you hoping would happen here?
He goes to an office party, meets with his colleagues who have had a few drinks, they want to take some pictures and the girls do some stupid little poses. You dont like it but you didnt do anything to stop it either. Plus, he cant push his co-workers off like that otherwise he looks like the uptight desi who cant seem to loosen up and relax.
Yes, he has to respect your feelings, I agree with that also. But you should make an effort to get out there with him too. Why does he have friends you're not comfortable with?
Its not like you have no control here immune, you actually have quite a bit of control here. GO with him no matter how odd or uncomfortable it feels...it always feels like that in the beginning. Then, its all fine and dandy.
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
oh please don't act mad or don't become extra sad......bit of anger, bit of jealousy and bit of sadness but before that bring this to him when the atmosphere is romantic....like don't talk about it when you're in the middle of cooking or something.
^How? Would it be better to get mad at him and muun sujaa kar beth jaoon? Or would it be better to calmly talk to him about it?
unless you look really cute in "munn sujaa ker beth janey main", only thing that can work is communication. Talk to him. Let him know that you really don't like it and if he can not restrain him self or feel awkward to not participate in these activities once in the function, then he should not go.
In other thread I am teaching a guy how to be a man.
And here I need to tell you how to be a woman. hmmmm
See women do all kind of stuff. They get mad,swear,throw plates etc. There is nothing which we guys don't expect.
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
When in rome,most people want to fit in and"do as the romans do"...within reason of course. I was born and raised gori so when I went to Pak to meet the family of the man I was to marry, I gave each a big hug and kiss on the cheek as would be expected in my culture. To my extreme embarrassment, I found out well after the trip that they were all likely horrified. I even gave my husbands brother a kiss on the cheek and a hug upon our meeting. I had absolutely no designs whatsoever and absolutely no sexual desires of these people I would call family. Luckily for me, they all just kind of looked at me funny and accepted me for me.
Westerners are far, far more physical people than are desis and this does not mean that there are any sexual overtones.
That said, its still a good idea to watch over your spouse and the doings....but I'd be far more uncomfortable with a spouse who refused to talk about office parties than a spouse who not only talks about them but invites the wife, takes photos and then shows her!!
Oh well, I’ll let it go then :hinna: I will just go on a shopping spree tonight and get my mood better, and next time I AM going with him and giving other women the evil eye.
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
Maybe I'm just stupid but I don't see anywhere that I've suggested guys are all innocent.
I merely am suggesting that things like this should not be turned into mega-issues.
You were given a chance to go with him. You declined.
Now he's sharing the time he had with you and it ticks you off. Okay......could happen. You tell him you don't like it. Great, he's warned for next time.
He posts the pics on a work-related FB account. So what? Maybe his colleagues wanted to see the pics.......big deal.
You don't like those pics circulating.....fine, ask him to take them down.
No need for days of cold-shoulder.
No need for playing the mother or sister card.
No need for any of that garbage.
If you have a solid relationship then this type of activity should have no impact on you.
^Munza - if you think guys are all "innocent" type of creatures - then you are dead wrong.
..all guys actually have a "scanning device" in which they can see you naked even in just your written ID as "Munza"
So why would you trust him? - If not physically - there is still something going on - rt?
^ sorry off topic - but Munza asked for it -hehe
btw jersey girl.......what exactly did I ask for?
When in rome,most people want to fit in and"do as the romans do"...within reason of course. I was born and raised gori so when I went to Pak to meet the family of the man I was to marry, I gave each a big hug and kiss on the cheek as would be expected in my culture. To my extreme embarrassment, I found out well after the trip that they were all likely horrified. I even gave my husbands brother a kiss on the cheek and a hug upon our meeting. I had absolutely no designs whatsoever and absolutely no sexual desires of these people I would call family. Luckily for me, they all just kind of looked at me funny and accepted me for me.
Westerners are far, far more physical people than are desis and this does not mean that there are any sexual overtones.
That said, its still a good idea to watch over your spouse and the doings....but I'd be far more uncomfortable with a spouse who refused to talk about office parties than a spouse who not only talks about them but invites the wife, takes photos and then shows her!!
lolz....my husband did something really silly like that when he came to see me after the engagement, he hugged me in front of everyone (including my father) and I was so embarrassed but I think he quickly realized that..... but he's changed a lot since that day. lol
re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
I think you are over reacting immune. If there really was something there your husband wouldn't show you. I think your attitude is insulting to your husband and shows the distrust you have for your husband, it's very disappointing.
@ Muzna: No, I was not ticked off when he showed me the pics. I got mad cuz when I said this one pic is really inappropriate, he laughed it off and then uploaded that pic alongwith the others, he could have skipped that one since it was kind of obscene.
@ aahmed: He knows how much I trust him thats why he showed me the pics, why else would he show me. And I do trust him, I just didn't like him laughing it off, then uploading that pic. He disregarded my feelings when I commented on it and when he has a wife, he shouldn't even have let that girl pose in that way... whether that girl was drunk or not. He could have just laughed and said my wife's not gonna like that, could you just stand here with me instead of whatever she was doing.
Its like the more leeway i'm giving him and trusting him, he's flaunting it in my face. There has to be a limit and I'm going to establish that from now on. I'm going to all his office parties from now on and I'll see how he reacts when his co-workers come and hug me, he will probably not ask me to come anymore and then I won't let him go either. Tough Love's gotta work, no?
Re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
I can see why immune got mad at this. Many women would be the same. Why would any woman want another woman posing provocatively on her man, however innocent it may have been? I don't think so.
At such events it is mostly the case that alcohol is flowing freely and when drinking peoples behaviour changes. The best thing a muslim could do is to avoid putting him/herself in any environment where alcohol is being consumed!
Immune the best thing to do is speak to your husband about it. Maybe he doesn't know how much it has upset you? Maybe he sees his behaviour as perfectly acceptable? Speak to him, air your thoughts and feelings and take it from there...
don’t worry MuZna! I get brain freeze sometimes and I must have forgotten to relate what I was trying to say 
Re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
cant ujust desribe the pose that has u so bothered?
Re: I'm offended and angry, how do I communicate it to my husband
^ Better yet, post that picture here