[FONT=Times New Roman]I’mnot writing this piece because I want you to feel sorry for me. I am presentingyou with the facts that happened to me just over a year ago on my wedding day.I hope you can learn from it and don’t repeat the mistakes that I did. Sincejoining Gupshup, a couple of girls have asked me for advice, and I have happilydished it out. So, to those guppies out there who I have already given adviceto – apologies for the repetition. I am going to break everything down just soit is easier to digest and easier for me to remember! I cannot even begin totell you how many fights I had with suppliers etc, some I have evenstrategically blocked out! Also, I don’t want to bad-mouth any vendors so nonames will be mentioned. If you want specifics you can message me.
Me, myself, and I
Itook it upon myself to organise my wedding that was going to be in July 2010 inLondon. I had six months to plan it all. I shunned any ideas from my mum, what did she know? This was the firstwedding in my family, bar my elder sister’s who got married in Pakistan and theorganisation was taken care of by the groom’s side. No problem. It wasdifficult turning to friends and family, as most of my family members who hadgotten married had segregated weddings and it was really low key. Another thingyou should know about me, I like straying away from the norm, so I wanted mywedding to be REALLY different and different from previous weddings in myfamily. This caused me problems later on.
**Planning **
Weddingmagazines were my main source of planning as well as wedding exhibitions. Iwish I had signed up to GS then! FYI wedding magazines are editorially biased,so you were getting a subjective point of view of the make-up artist who didthe front cover of their magazine for example. If the magazine says thismake-up artist is great because they say so, it’s most likely not the truth.Hence why forums such as GS are so helpful. Real brides, real views.
Thewedding exhibition I attended was good, the vendors offer discounts if youbooked them. Most of the vendors were really expensive anyway, so 10% offdidn’t really make a difference! Exhibitions are good for spending a day outand getting to see all the various suppliers under one roof, and speaking tothem. And most importantly seeing their work.
Finally,the old favourite – word of mouth. A couple of my wedding suppliers that Ibooked were through word of mouth and in both instances, they flopped. Andthese recommendations were from a good friend of mine. So girls, you can’talways trust word of mouth.
Budget
Alwayshave a budget and DON’T go over it. Itis so tempting to go over budget – but restrain yourself. I went over mybudget, only because I did not anticipate how expensive everything was going tobe. In a way, if I really wanted to stick to my budget I would have triedharder to find a cheaper venue or a cheaper photographer. But I didn’t and thatwas my mistake. Setyour budget and stick to it, you WILL find something within it; you just haveto search really hard. I wish I had!
The Venue
Ihave always thought of the venue as eyebrows – they shape your wholeevent. Too small you have a problem, toobig and it will look like your guests didn’t show up. That’s why choosing theright venue is important, it gives people an idea of what to expect and whatyour wedding is going to be like. A great venue sets the foundation of yourwedding, and everything else such as decorations will fall into place.
Ichecked out around 5 venues, 1 of which was on my mum’s request (it didn’t makethe final cut). I could not find a venueat all! I found one but they were really hard to work with. I will get to that.I felt that time was running out and since July is a peak wedding month, Ibegrudgingly booked a venue that I had initially rejected. It ended up beingtoo small.
Mymum told me book the venue my cousin had for her wedding the previous year butI said no. It was lovely and spacious but I couldn’t do that. I also had adisagreement with the event manager at the hotel I had booked and I requestedto deal with someone else at the hotel. I can’t remember what it was about now.
Anotherthing to note is that sometimes the venue say they have a capacity of 240 (myvenue said that) but on the day I had 200 people and it was a squeeze. Visitevery venue and imagine how many guests could realistically fit in the room. Isthere enough leg room, chair room, will people be able to move aroundcomfortably? This can only be determined by visiting the venue. Wedding tablesare quite big 6ft by something or other, so they take up a lot of room as well.Most hotels have 10 chairs per table policy. Think about this when visiting thevenue. Ask the right questions, but also remember that they are trying to sellyou something and they may say yes this room has a capacity for 240 people butthat is not always the case.
**The Catering **
Thereare only 2 well known caterers that EVERYONE in my family has used for theirwedding. So obviously I was going to go in the opposite direction (see above‘me, myself, and I) much to my mum’s disapproval. For catering, always go for afood tasting and see what freebies they can throw in. Most well known catererssuch as the ones in my area are more likely to give a discount if you‘bulk-by’. Catering, décor, event management etc etc… I went for some lesserknown caterers that had a minimal if any portfolio whatsoever over caterersthat had 25 years experience in the business and good links and contacts withhotels and everything in between. Stupid, huh? There I was trying to prove apoint to everyone. The only reason that I didn’t choose the well-known catererswas because their food was not consistent. Yes, their organisation, eventmanagement, and trade discounts were excellent, however, their food was neitherhere nor there. And everyone remembers what the food tastes like at a wedding.I mentioned above that I had trouble working with a hotel I liked - I found out later, and I don’t know if it’strue but I heard it from a catering company that the event manager at the venuewas racist. My caterers were Muslims. When I had gone to meet her, I had toldher that I was thinking about booking the more established caterers. She wasvery forthcoming and even knew the main man by first name. But when I had toldher that I had changed my caterers, she kept making excuses to finaliseeverything such as the date was no longer available and other little things. Ibegan to realise that my caterers had no leverage because their portfolio waslacking.
Inan attempt to save my wedding, I bit my tongue and called the better knowncaterers. Once you have rejected someone, they don’t want to know you. I toldhim my situation but he wasn’t having any of it. He was quite rude actually.When I said I had chosen someone else over him his tone changed. No longer thefriendly professional businessman. I took it from our phone conversation thathe wasn’t interested in catering my wedding. He was relatively cheaper than thelesser known caterers because he had catered at that venue so many times. I wasstuck. I rang another caterer – I told him my situation and he seemed reallysympathetic, he said he would call me back but he never did! I rang the secondof the two well known wedding caterers at least three times before anything wasset in stone and no-one called me back and when I called them they were reallyunhelpful. So, I was stuck with my lessexperienced caterers. In the end, my guests said the food was lovely. But I’mnot sure if they were telling the truth!
Agood point to remember that venues and caterers have a symbiotic relationship.One helps the other out and they often have good relations with one another aswell as other industry experts. Find a caterer that does the whole shebang suchas food, decorations, event management, and see if they can possibly recommendany DJs, good florists, and photographers. It’s easier to manage when onevendor is doing everything rather than lots of suppliers doing differentthings. Your caterer will haggle on your behalf so that is another plus. Theydo the leg work for you, so you can relax on your Big Day.
Ihave learnt from this experience that it is better to go for more establishedsuppliers – they know what they’re doing. This is not to say that my catererswere incompetent, they did everything brilliantly and generously providednapkins and cutlery when the hotel didn’t. On the other hand, the Sales Managerwho I dealt with day in day out was a huge annoyance. I remember shouting athim over the phone and him shouting back! Can you believe?! I even startedcrying. He called me back later, I didn’t pick up. He left a voicemail and Idecided to call back. It was about cutlery – I didn’t know that it wasn’tincluded in the price. He was charging me £500! After our fight he decided thatwe would go 50/50 and I agreed. On the day, my sisters were a big help, theywere so stressed out but they did fabulously. The imam ran really late so theschedule got a bit messed up! Also, this was my caterers’ first ‘gig’ outsidetheir own venue, so they had to prove themselves to the hotel if they wantedrepeat business and to me as their first client. They weren’t about to mess itup.
**
The clothes **
Thebiggest nightmare. Ever. I am not exaggerating. This is one of the worstexperiences, along with my make-up artist during my wedding (see my previouspost in GS). Looking through the GS forums, I always see such beautiful bridesadorned in the most gorgeous fabrics. They look so stunning, and I sometimeswish that I had never met this designer in my life. Your wedding clothes arethe most important part of the wedding, slipping into them, you feel like aprincess but I felt like a fraud. Let’s go back to the beginning. My weddingwas in July and by January I still hadn’t found my clothes. I was going withthe theme of ‘being different’. I wasn’t that aware of designers in London, asI am now. I had no idea of replicas or ordering clothes online. I only becameaware of this after my wedding and after joining GS! I couldn’t go to Pakistanbecause I couldn’t take time off of work as I had already taken time off forthe wedding. My mum told me to go for a week if I wanted to, but I wasn’tconfident about which designers, what area etc. If you ask me now, I can tellyou everything! Thanks to GS.
Ok,so I had been everywhere and could not find anything! My friend recommended thedesigner she had for her walima (see above for ‘word of mouth’). I liked heroutfit and it would be good to work with someone who can design your clothesfrom scratch as opposed to wearing something off the rack. I contacted the ladyand she told me the earliest date she had for a meeting was April. I told hermy wedding was in July and she said it was enough time to get everything done.My friend bragged about this designer’s professionalism, efficiency, andflexibility with regards to budgeting. My friend’s walima was two years beforemy wedding.
Anyway,so I went to her house. We spoke about what I wanted and I mentioned that Iwanted something different. She said she had just made a sharara for someoneand I thought it was perfect. This was way before the sharara and garara trendwe are seeing now, so I feel like I was ahead of the trend hehehehe. I talked,she sketched. The one she had on display was very simple, it wasn’t a bridalone so it was really hard for me to imagine.
Ichose a blood red sharara with zardozi kaam on chiffon kapra, I said to her Ididn’t want bling as I thought the stones looked tacky, which I regret now. Thedupatta had curved edges as opposed to straight edges. The sharara was supposedto have scalloped edges at the bottom of which it didn’t. We decided on a shortkameez which was made of zari which gave it some shine and texture with a highwaist line that was supposed to have some detailing under the bust. The shararawas meant to be covered in kaam and it had 14 panels. It all sounded fab andlooked great on paper. I paid her the deposit and she would contact me in 2weeks when the swatches would be ready. The swatches didn’t arrive on time, sheblamed the postal strike. She makes theclothes out of cotton for me to try it on before she sends it to India where itis made. She also wanted me to check the swatches before she finalised it withher warehouse in India. The fitting was pushed back because the swatches didn’tarrive. Did she apologise? No. She made excuses. Furthermore, she said shewould send me emails of my clothes at every stage. Did she? No. By the time ofmy cotton fitting, it was May. I was panicking. She kept reassuring me thateverything would be done. Because of her I couldn’t even order the jewellery Iwanted because I didn’t have my clothes or even a swatch to show the jewellerydesigner and nor did I have anything for my make-up trial. It was all guesswork.
Iwould contact her constantly via email to ask for updates and she would neverreply or say yes everything is running on schedule, they’re working on this nowand it will be here and ready by the end of June. This is a bit unrealistic aswe all know that bridal clothes take 8 weeks to complete. I told her that I wasgetting married a week earlier than I really was and she still wasn’t moving ata fast pace with the clothes! We had issues in between. She blamed her newbornbaby for her lateness and general delay in EVERYTHING…I will come to this. Soanyway, after all this I got a text from her saying my clothes had arrived andthat they were gorgeous. It was June 26th and my wedding was on July16th. I took my big sister with me. I was optimistic yet nervous. Isaw my wedding clothes and I wanted to cry. There was no wow factor, it lookedlike something I would wear to someone else’s wedding day not on my own. I tried on the clothes, stood in front of themirror and I was just quiet. Normally when you try on wedding clothes peoplegasp. My sister was deathly silent, and I knew that was a bad sign. Luckily mysister says what’s on her mind. The kaam that were supposed to be covering mysharara stopped at my knee instead of my thighs, she hadn’t done the scallopingas promised. It just was not bridal. My sharara looked like palazzo pantsinstead of grand, elegant, and over the top as promised. She hadn’t even addedpadding to it! My sister spoke up and we compared it to the cotton sample. I’mso glad she was there otherwise I would have taken it home as it was. The designer realised that there was an errorbut she never once admitted any mistake on her part. Not once. I think at onestage she said “oh you should have come to me earlier” and I stayed quietbecause she was the one that told me her earliest availability. She said thesharara would be fixed within the week. Realistically, it was not going to getto India and back within the week. She had been making excuses and lyingthroughout everything. I spoke to my friend that recommended her to me. I justsaid that I was really upset and it was not what I expected. My friend rang upthe designer and said she was not happy because she was the one thatrecommended her services to me etc etc. She said to my friend, that she wasgoing to add more kaam to the sharara and add a bit more bling generally allover the outfit to make up for what had happened. Hearing this I was sorelieved.
Iwent to collect my clothes on July 15th, a day before my weddingday. I had mehndi on my hands and anger in my heart. I could not believe it. Itwas outrageous. I saw my clothes and not much had changed. She added somepadding to the sharara and just increased the kaam but did not add the extrasas promised. I asked her why and she said she didn’t promise this!? That iswhen I broke down in tears and I said that she’s ruined everything, and in allhonesty this woman for the life of her could not see the errors of her ways.She did not compensate financially or otherwise. She did not acceptresponsibility for ANYTHING. She didn’t even apologise. Something I thought Iwould never see before, she broke down in tears as well. She admitted that hernewborn was taking up a lot of her time and that when she working her heart wasnot in it. She had returned to work only a couple of months after giving birth.Her workroom is in her house so it wasn’t like she was going out to work. I washer first client after she had the baby. If she thought she was not ready to goback to work, she should have made that clear but she didn’t. I would haveunderstood. She was a first time mum and she was caught up with her baby. Everytime she didn’t return my call, she would say something about her baby and Icouldn’t exactly tell her not to give her baby any attention. I said take yourmoney and I said I would not be recommending her services to anybody and shesaid “yeah, I kind of guessed that”.
Aftermy wedding, I got in touch with her because she had a red clutch of mine. Shesent it to India so they could get the colour of my wedding clothes right. Shestill hadn’t returned it to me – a pattern of hers. I emailed her to return itto me or pay the difference which was £150 (it was really £15 but I wanted toget some money out of her since she had practically robbed me!) She gave the *****iestresponse – “I highly doubt its £150” and she made some comment or other. Ireplied saying yes well looks can be deceiving since the outfit you made for medoesn’t match up to the price I paid for it. She didn’t reply and I got myclutch back.
It’snot even that I hate my wedding clothes, it’s just that every time I look atthem I am reminded of her and everything I went through. My clothes are unique,a one-off piece. I don’t know how but I still had a shred of optimism in me. Iwas going to look great because I had a great make-up artist and it would makeup for the plain clothes I had. I couldn’t be more wrong.
Youall know this by now, but I will say it again. Leave enough time for yourbridal clothes to be completed, and any potential errors to be ironed out.Hiccups will happen and you have to be mentally prepared for them. Orderingonline is risky as I found out when I ordered my walima clothes. However, many guppies have had positiveexperiences ordering online. It’s entirely up to you, but these are yourwedding clothes. Tread carefully.
**
The Make-Up **
· The Trials
Ihave written about my experience with my make-up artist in a thread on GS. So Iwill keep this brief. At the time I was getting married, I didn’t havefacebook. So I didn’t have the luxury of trawling through make-up artistsalbums etc.
Anyway,so I had three make-up trials. One was with a woman I met at the exhibition.Her trial was £35, and if I booked her that amount would be deducted from thetotal. She was really lovely and down to earth. I felt really comfortable withher and I could tell her honestly what I didn’t like and she didn’t take itpersonally. She was getting married herself in 8 weeks and she was so calm! Ididn’t book her only because she couldn’t achieve the look I wanted.Personality wise – I would have booked her there and then. I hear she’s doingreally well and gaining in popularity.
Thesecond trial was also £35 because it didn’t include a hair trial. I saw herwork in a wedding magazine. She impressed me too but the make-up was more partythan wedding. She informed me that her khala normally does the hair, dupattasetting, jewellery setting etc. I’m glad she told me that, as some people tryand pass off that they can do everything. It’s not shameful if you can’t. Idecided not to book her.
Thethird and final trial was through word of mouth. It was not the same friend whorecommended the clothes designer, but one of my best friends. She had heardfrom her friend who had heard it from her friend that this woman was the ‘talkof the town’. She was the most expensive, and charged me £75. She only did mymake-up and fiddled around with my hair. She had only been in the industry fora couple of years. I felt that at the trial her make-up was the closest to myvision. I wanted matte foundation, no shimmer, full red lips and smokey eyes.She did all that without my clothes or jewellery in front of her. It was themost bridal out of the two I had already seen and I couldn’t afford to go onany more trials, so I booked her.
Itis really important that you do have your clothes and your jewellery beforebooking any trials. It is for your own benefit as then you can visualise whatyou will look like on your wedding. That is your reassurance, whereas I wasgambling. Some of you worry about notwanting to order your clothes too early as they might go out of fashion – thelong kameez has been in fashion for ages, and I don’t think it’s ready toshorten its hemline just yet! So, don’t worry.
So,I told this make-up artist that I don’t have my clothes or jewellery and can Iarrange to see her a few weeks before my wedding to have a dress rehearsal. Shesaid it was fine. Surprise, surprise when I did call her she said she was toobusy and when I told her she said it was okay, she said she really couldn’t. Iremember that day as I was in hysterics because everything else was fallingapart, and I didn’t even have the energy to tell her about my clothesdesigner. I guess I thought we werefriends since she had asked me to write glowing review about her for aninternational fashion magazine. It was unpaid of course, but she paid me in cheapeyeshadows from the market. I will get to this. Remember no-one in thisbusiness is your friend. They are providing a service, and you are paying themfor this service. Don’t get me wrong, you will meet some great people along theway but those few are the gems in this industry who truly have a passion fortheir craft and genuinely want to make your special day the best it can be. Butthere are others who are plain ruthless.
· My wedding day **
Shedidn’t budge with her price as it was ‘peak wedding season’ (you will hear thisa lot) and so unlike the first trial I had, I paid her a staggering £475 andshe didn’t even deduct the trial money. It’s my wedding day and I’m feelingnervous mostly that everything is going to go terribly wrong. I already took apeak downstairs at my wedding hall and it was tiny so that made it worse!! Iwas getting ready in the hotel. I had my two best friends with me while mysisters were running the show.
Shewas running a little late but she said it was okay because she can do themake-up really quickly. First bad sign. She text me later asking me if I hadsafety pins?!?!?! Second bad sign. She arrived, she wasn’t even half in theroom and she asked “do you have the money?” Third bad sign. I gave the moneyand in exchange she gave me some really cheap eyeshadows that looked like theywere from the Sunday market. It was a thank you for writing that article onher. Anyway, she got started on my make-up and I kept looking in the mirror. Ikept correcting her, as she couldn’t even do the eyeliner straight! She saiddoesn’t let her clients look in the mirror until the end. She mentioned she hadgone to Milan recently and she had picked up some great products, and I have asneaky suspicion she was using them on me.
Ladies,when you go for a trial and if you decide to book them, ask them politely toemail you the list of products they used. I think some MUA’s such as Henna-H dothis, but don’t quote me on that. It makes their life easier, and your lifestress free. Just imagine how many girls they must see in a day, week, or evena month!
Anyway,so she did my MU in record time. I told my friend to show her how I wanted myhair. It was all my hair curled, in a bun, with just a few tendrils coming out.I didn’t want anything slick backed or really neat and crisp as my face isround and I felt that it wouldn’t suit me. I said to her I didn’t want theartificial looking bun, you know the ones that already have little gems in themor a plait. The really fake looking ones. Do you know which ones I mean? Thatdoesn’t mean I said no to having a sponge in my hair, how else would thedupatta sit? She classed herself as ‘high-end’ and said she was in the sameleague as Lubna Rafiq and Naveeda, I can’t even remember how that topic cameup. As I mentioned, she had only been in the industry for a few years and ittakes more than a few years to build up a good reputation, but that’s just myopinion.
Shegot started on my hair which is one my photographer came in. She wanted to takepictures of me getting ready which I was fine with. I wasn’t fine with both myMUA and photographer talking constantly about irrelevant things “do youknow?..” “oh I’ve seen your..” and so on. Their mothers meeting was broken upwhen my MUA realised she had made a mistake with my hair. She hadn’t beenpaying attention to what she was doing because she was too busy talking to myphotographer. I had asked for a side parting but she had forgotten to leaveenough hair to hide my tikka. She didn’t undo my hair; she tried to cover it asbest she could and failed. Oh and she didn’t put a sponge in my hair either.Then came the dupatta setting. This is what I was the most nervous about as wehadn’t had the dress rehearsal like she had said. My nightmare came true.Seriously ladies, she was struggling so much with my dupatta and it wasn’t evenheavy. She didn’t know how to do the pleats; you know when the long part of thedupatta sits at the front? I was helping her and telling her what to do! Obviouslythe dupatta was not sitting on my head properly because she had not created ahigh enough bun or base. Once setting it with few safety pins, I plainly saidto her that I was not feeling comfortable and I felt that the dupatta was goingto slip of my head. She got a sponge and literally shoved it in my hair. Shesaid it was too late to start all over again. I was on the verge of tears andshe could see this. My friends didn’t really know what was going on, as theywere busy getting ready themselves. I was about to cry and she was packing herthings and practically running to get out of the room. I think she had anotherclient waiting. Before booking your MUA, ask them if they have anyone elsebooked for later on that day. Even if it’s a party function as you don’t wanttheir mind wondering. All their attention should be on you.
Icalled my sister; she took out the sponge which was already half way out of myhair. There was nothing that could be done. In hindsight, one of my guests wasa pro MUA; I could have called her up and asked her to sort it out. At the timethough I was in panic mode and I couldn’t think straight. Did I mention sheused eyelash glue to secure my tikka and jhumar? And when she realised that myjhumar did not have a comb or slide, she was taken off guard and wasstruggling.
Sothere I was – a slippery dupatta, a flyaway tikka and basically feeling reallycrap about myself. All my guests could tell I was uncomfortable and as soon asI had made my entrance, my aunt came up to me and said “your dupatta is notright” and I told her to leave it. I kept adjusting my tikka because it keptmoving. You can see this throughout my wedding film, which I always hate towatch.
· ** Aftermath
Myexperience with her really showed me the difference between the people thattruly care about their brides and those that are all about making a quick buckor two. For example, for my husband’s Christmas party I decided to get my hairdone professionally. This woman is a gifted hairstylist and she and her partnerare well known in the industry. She arrived at my house and I had the envelopeof money waiting for her. I asked her if she wanted the money first and shesaid “no, wait until I’ve done the hairstyle first. You might not like it.” Iwas shocked. She is a perfectionist, so much so that I just wanted to say“leave it”! I’m glad I didn’t. On the night, I felt like people were staring atme. One of my husband’s colleagues came up to me and said my hair looked great,who did it and could she take a picture! And girls, that’s what you want. Youwant someone that really cares about what they’re doing and why they’re doingit. I would rather have a perfectionist for my wedding than someone who shovessomething in your hair and makes a getaway.
Idecided to email her (my email is posted on GS forum) and I got no response. Ithink that’s quite pathetic and unprofessional. She probably doesn’t even carethat she ruined someone’s wedding day and that’s the really sad thing about it.I tried to find reviews about her on GS and other internet sites but foundnothing. I hear she has opened her restaurant and one guppan mentioned thatit’s not doing very well. I’m not surprised.
Photography &Videography
Likevenues and catering, photography and videography also go hand in hand.
Myvideographers were amazing. They are the nicest people you will meet; they weredefinitely the most humble, down-to-earth guys I met in the whole weddingprocess. You could tell they weren’t doing this for the money, but because theyhad a passion for it. They never harassed me for money; in fact, I was the onealways calling to tell them that I was paying into their account. They wereunbelievably laid back and easy to work with. They didn’t have an ulterior motive;they just get to the point. I have nothing but kind words for them.
Myphotographer is a whole other story.
Imet her at the wedding exhibition and she was lovely. She was very veryexpensive but I booked her nonetheless as I wanted a female photographer. Herphotography style was natural and off-the-cuff, which at the time I thought wasgreat. She spoke a lot to my videographer and my MUA about unrelated things. Mysisters told me afterwards that when they needed her to take pictures theycould never find her. The thing that really makes me sad is that I don’t evenhave one family photo because she doesn’t like taking ‘staged’ pictures. Nopictures with my siblings, nothing. I think I should have been more forwardwith her and said now take this picture but you can’t really change aphotographer’s style. My videographers did photography too and I don’t know whyI didn’t choose them. Their photography was more to my taste and to my mum’s!They were more affordable as well. The cousin I mentioned, she had used them forher wedding so maybe subconsciously I didn’t want them for that reason which isreally silly looking back now. I emailedmy photographer after the wedding and told her that I felt she behavedunprofessionally, she made up an excuse but apologised nonetheless. She thendeleted and blocked me from Facebook.
Anotherthing I forgot to mention was she promised me a pre-wedding shoot which neverhappened and a post-wedding shoot that never happened. I had been married for 6months and she still hadn’t managed to arrange a date because she was ‘toobusy’. She works for herself so she is the only photographer. In the end, Ideclined a post-wedding shoot because I was getting fed up of waiting. I don’tunderstand why people bite off more than they can chew.
It’sbetter to pick a photographer and videographer from one company, that wayeverything will be consistent and they will be used to working with one another.Look for photographers whose prices INCLUDE an album. My photographer charged£1,000 extra to create a wedding album. We still don’t have a wedding album;all our pictures are on CD. Look for aphotographer that has a similar style to yours, you can’t change or manipulatea photographer’s style.
**The DJ **
Ifound a female DJ that I heard was quite good. She didn’t require a deposit,just payment on the day so that was fine. I was happy with my choice. I hadn’tgone to see her doing her thing at any wedding, which I regret now. Whenbooking any music act, see if you can find them on YouTube or ask if you cancome along to an event they may be covering.
Anyway,everything was going fine. Problems started occurring when she couldn’t evenmake a basic mix CD for me. She made it wrong and when I told her to do itagain, it took her forever. We needed the music so we could practice ourdances. My friend, the one that recommended the wedding designer to mesuggested her friend’s brother to make the CD’s for me as he was a part-timeDJ. He made the CD’s perfectly and my ‘friend’ said that why don’t I just havehim DJ my mehndi and wedding. His sister would do the mehndi and he would dothe wedding. I think this friend liked putting her points across and wantedthem played out. She wanted things her way. I can’t think why, since it was mywedding.
Itook her suggestion and booked her friend’s brother who was much cheaper thanthis female DJ. Now, I had to try and make an excuse to this female DJ. I madeup an excuse. She didn’t believe me and threatened to sue me. She said she wasrecording the phone conversation and she threatened to turn up at my mehndi andvenue and take pictures to prove that I was lying. I hadn’t paid her a depositso she wasn’t losing money, but she said she had to turn someone away on thatday and she was losing business. I told my cousin who used to be a solicitor,and I paid her £100 to get rid of her. She wanted me to pay her £300 firstwhich was outrageous! For her to come down to that price shows that she reallywasn’t losing much. I went to her house to pay her the money and get a receiptand that was that. I think she realised she was being over the top when shethreatened to sue me etc etc and wished me all the best for my wedding! Peopleare crazy. I was really scared when this was all happening but I can look backat it now and laugh.
Inthe end, the joke was on me. My friend’s brother was really rubbish on bothfunctions. The music wasn’t loud enough and his announcements could not beheard. A few guests even told me on the wedding day that my DJ was rubbish! Canyou believe?! He ruined my entrance song as well since no-one could hear it;they didn’t even know I was coming in. I just popped out of nowhere! He didn’teven have the proper equipment. This was the second time that this ‘friend’ hadsuggested someone. The ironic thing is on her wedding she didn’t book her ownfriend’s brother. She hired someone charging £1200 and for her brother’sfunctions her friend’s brother was nowhere to be seen either. If she knew hewas rubbish, why did she recommend him to me? Strange.
The Décor
Ididn’t have any problems with the people that were doing my décor, but I foundthem to be quite sneaky at the last minute. I wanted chair covers but they costextra. He said they would do them for free if a couple of my family membershelped out. Fine.
Onthe day of my wedding, he rang me saying that he would only do the chair coversif I paid. I said to him that you said you were going to do it for free. Hedenies saying that. It was my wedding day and I was in no position to argue soI paid him. I was fuming.
**Final hints &tips **
Idon’t think I’ve left anything out! I can’t believe how much I’ve written. If Ihaven’t written about something, it’s because it went smoothly or I’ve blockedit out.
Awedding is a stressful and expensive time. I wish I had listened to my mummore, and taken some of her good points on board but I was stubborn. Take yourtime organising everything, suppliers will put pressure on you to book, theywill say “we’re getting really busy, so if you want to book you have to do it nowor we have to give the date to someone else.” Don’t buy into that. Some of youmay be at the helm of organising your wedding, and others might be leaving thestrenuous task to parents and family. If you are in charge, don’t be overlyinvolved. Take a reasonable step back. I organised everything, so on the day Iwas pointing out all the hiccups or give my sisters dirty looks because thiswasn’t going accordingly or that was running on time. So much so that I didn’teven enjoy my wedding day and it went by in a blink of an eye.
Whynot try out a day time/early evening wedding? We were in such a rush to keepeverything on time, and since the imam came a few hours late, we were runningeven more late! Leave room for late arrivals. Start your function at 5pm insteadof 7pm. Also, schedule your photo shoot with you and your hubby after you’veeaten. I missed the starters on my wedding and there were none left! Don’tworry about dieting, the pounds will fall off you the week before your weddingbecause of the stress. You will stress out but if you have hired reliableindividuals you will be fine. Don’t take any crap from anyone, remainprofessional at all times and always read the fine print when signingcontracts. Take a male with you to meetings or consultations. I went to everymeeting alone or with my sister, and to be honest, I think some people tookadvantage of that. Unfortunately, we live in a man’s world as the saying goes.
Ihope my story has helped you in some way or another. Looking back, I know who Iwould choose as my MUA or my photographer or even my caterers. But I can’t getthat time back. I have to live with the decisions I made, and at the time, theyseemed like the right ones. I am still obsessed with weddings, weddingpictures, wedding clothes, anything related to weddings! I am always on GS,even though I’m not getting married! I love reading everyone’s experiences andtheir advice. When my sister gets married, whenever that may be, I now have thetools and experience to make her wedding nothing less than perfect.
Afterall, everyone deserves to feel like a princess for one day.
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my heart goes out to you, how awful, you poor poor thing. OMG as i was reading, i kept thinking surely it cant get any worse than this, and then it did!!!