True I shouldnt say dating at least not for him, but here comes again that if I tell him I like someone I know my dad, he will probably want us to get married soon. Im close with my dad, thats why I really hate keeping secrets from him, but I just dont want to risk my relationship with him. Mom isnt option, she isnt here anymore. And like I didnt plan to fall in love and meet someone. I always thought that Im gonna go with arranged marriage option, but I just happened to be same place with someone who turned be my dream guy. He says always that he will do what I want, that if I want to tell, lets tell together. Im just now so confused and really dont know what to do and I dont have anyone in family like who would know dad better than I do and who could tell dad or tell me what to do.. And of course I know that dating before marriage is haram, but I know also that im gonna spend rest of my life with this guy. And we go in same university so thats how we met.
You dont have to justify your dating and get into haram/halal philosophy. it happens with all of us. The issue is not dating, but the fact that if you tell your dad, he will either say no or will say yes with the expectation of you marrying him right now. I think that is why I suggest that you need to have that guy send you a rishta through his parents and go for engagement.
See that is why we need the corner room. A place for adults to have retarded conversations. If I provide a logical reasoned argument for the sake of such a forum you will merely call it bull**** and ignore regardless of its merits. But I bet now you realize the need for it.
TLK, you need to read the sub-text - there's always logic to our banter.
We're not babbling, we're engaging in a mature conversation on the merits of other monotheocratic faiths and how it may assist one's future well-being and interpersonal relationships.
You dont have to justify your dating and get into haram/halal philosophy. it happens with all of us. The issue is not dating, but the fact that if you tell your dad, he will either say no or will say yes with the expectation of you marrying him right now. I think that is why I suggest that you need to have that guy send you a rishta through his parents and go for engagement.
I think tlk bhai is exactly right, get the guy to send rishta to your family.
But you also say your sure you dad would like him as a SIL, so i would just sit down with him dad and explain that you have met a great guy at uni and ask his thoughts on it, and im pretty sure he will listen to you
Im in love and im wondering should I tell about him to my dad & family now or later..
I have known this guy over 1 year now, and we are in love. He is pakistani, muslim guy, and he lives about 2 hours away from our home, so not far away. He is decent, and from "good" family and studying also.
We have talked about getting married after 2-3 years. We are not ready yet to settle down and start own family, both wants to complete studies before marriage. And now Im just thinking should I really tell my dad about him now.
My dad is against dating before marriage. He isnt like really strict but still im wondering how he gonna react. Problem is that now Im getting rishta proposals, and dad is asking my opinion about them. I have just said that im not ready yet, and he just says "okey, lets see again after 1 year". But my fear is that he will "promise" for someone that I will marry his son etc. and I dont want that. But other hand if I tell him and he wont accept our dating our relationship will suffer, both mine and dads, and mine and my boyfriends. But like im also thinking that my boyfriend is probably my dads dream son-in-law so he would really like him, but then my dad could say that "U should get married right away" and thats not option either yet... So any advices, have someone been situation like this? Should I keep my mouth shut yet or not :D
from my point of view , let your parents know about it
and dont think much about dating and all .. what is most important to you >? if you both really love each other then i think most important thing is to spend rest of the life with each other so if you have to suffer that dating part then i think its ok ..
parents will understand the feelings of you both and also ask your BF to tell his parents about it so that if both families want to meet each other then it would be fine i think
sooner the better once u have made up ur mind to marry or else parents will feel bad that they were kept out of the loop. they will value ur decision to inform them unless you fear for their disapproval and or anger. when there is a will, there is a way....parents always reconcile sooner or later. iA :)
so basically you're worried that if you tell your dad, your current dating relationship will be spoiled?
you can't have everything. either you carry on, without his knowledge, feeling guilty and having to go through rejecting rishtas for no good reason or you tell him and face up to the fact that things are going to change. if this guy is the want to marry, then i'm sure you can sacrifice a few years of dating.
you never know, your dad might be okay with it as long as it's within limits. or as so many young people are doing these days, have the nikkah much earlier than the wedding so that you can hang out without any 'issues'.
I completely understand that you and the guy don't want to start a family (ie. kids) until you both finish your studies and have stable jobs to support children. However, what does that have to do with nikaah? I know plenty of people who had their nikaah done which in school and had rukhsati done after completing studies. I also know several couples who had nikaah/ruksati done.....and waited several years, finished school, adn THEN had kids. I'm wondering why those "options" aren't a consideration for you and the guy.
Guess it depends on the sort of relationship that you have with your father. I think an open relationship with your parents where each can discuss anything openly and freely is good.
I knew it was supposed to be an exorcism. But the reference to Christ gave me hope that you believe I’m going to convert and become a nun 
