Im in love and im wondering should I tell about him to my dad & family now or later..
I have known this guy over 1 year now, and we are in love. He is pakistani, muslim guy, and he lives about 2 hours away from our home, so not far away. He is decent, and from “good” family and studying also.
We have talked about getting married after 2-3 years. We are not ready yet to settle down and start own family, both wants to complete studies before marriage. And now Im just thinking should I really tell my dad about him now.
My dad is against dating before marriage. He isnt like really strict but still im wondering how he gonna react. Problem is that now Im getting rishta proposals, and dad is asking my opinion about them. I have just said that im not ready yet, and he just says “okey, lets see again after 1 year”. But my fear is that he will “promise” for someone that I will marry his son etc. and I dont want that. But other hand if I tell him and he wont accept our dating our relationship will suffer, both mine and dads, and mine and my boyfriends. But like im also thinking that my boyfriend is probably my dads dream son-in-law so he would really like him, but then my dad could say that “U should get married right away” and thats not option either yet… So any advices, have someone been situation like this? Should I keep my mouth shut yet or not
cant you tell your mom and she can tell you dad. And why do you have so much of emphasis on 'dating' part. Why cant you just tell him that you like someone without telling him that you are also dating that person.
Okay, so a pet peeve of mine are all of these Romeo and Juliet tales
The whole:
I am in love and…
should I tell my family?
oh my god, will my family approve?
oh no, my family won’t approve, what do I do now ?!?
Crikey, there’s that old saying - jab pyar kiya toh darna kya.
Honestly, if you have the guts to get involved in a relationship, then have the guts to stand up for what you want! If you don’t have the courage to stand up for what you want, then don’t waste someone else’s time and don’t be surprised when you face resistance from your family and your family feels deceived by you because you lied or omitted the truth of your actions from them.
Each of us knows what our family expects from us - so either conform to their expectations or man up and face their objections.
Sehrysh, to be precise, that’s a song from Mughal E Azam where Madhubala is making the prince feel real bad for not standing up to her love. Badtameez insaan, fuzool ka shehzada.
Ok so that brings us to a good point. Should the guy tell his parents first or the girl tells hers. See if the guy can tell his parents and they send a proper rishta like everyone else is sending then the problem will be solved. Dad will come to her and ask for her opinion and all she has to do is to say yes.
TLK, you as a parent, wouldn’t you rather know up front about your child’s actions, rather than be deceived by their actions? And more importantly, you’ve instilled a sense of what’s right and wrong in your kids - your expectations don’t come as a surprise to your kids, yet dear God, all of the woe is me and I can’t believe that my parents don’t support my actions bit, personally, it annoys me - but hey, maybe I’m too much a hardliner shrugs with a whatever attitude
my comment that you are rolling eyes on was actually a compliment/recongnition of your otherwise cool and calm attitude.
I agree with you but I think that OP is making a tad bit of a big deal out of this as she can not ask for support first and then date a guy, it always happens in reverse order whether you are confident about your family support or not.
True I shouldnt say dating at least not for him, but here comes again that if I tell him I like someone I know my dad, he will probably want us to get married soon. Im close with my dad, thats why I really hate keeping secrets from him, but I just dont want to risk my relationship with him. Mom isnt option, she isnt here anymore. And like I didnt plan to fall in love and meet someone. I always thought that Im gonna go with arranged marriage option, but I just happened to be same place with someone who turned be my dream guy. He says always that he will do what I want, that if I want to tell, lets tell together. Im just now so confused and really dont know what to do and I dont have anyone in family like who would know dad better than I do and who could tell dad or tell me what to do.. And of course I know that dating before marriage is haram, but I know also that im gonna spend rest of my life with this guy. And we go in same university so thats how we met.
