I'm gay....what do I do?

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

tt01 - you say you did not have a BF yet... but do you hang around or go out in their group? Do you like someone whom you can be with, as a partner?

Have you ever met another Pakistani homosexual? or you have been around with only non-desi homo?

Is it tough to find someone who is like you?


sorry too many questions... but I was shocked at one point in my life to see soooooooooo many gay desi people. It was a parade in New York City, and a group of desi gay pride marched through. I did feel sorry for them because they were "limited" in choosing a partner. They were mostly adults in their 30s. So it must be tough on you too to find someone. Is that true?

nope, I do not hang out with homos, nor do I know any desi or non-desi homos. I don't know if it's tough, I have not searched for anyone yet.

lol the site of desi uncles marching in a pride parade does sounds hilarious. what do you mean they were "limited"?

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

tt01,

You asked what we have to say about Pakistanis being gay. Well, it's not a lifestyle that I'm partial to due to my religious beliefs. However, I respect most people (as long as they respect me) regardless of their background/sexual orientation because that's how I was brought up. I've encountered gay people in school, the work place, various professions....some of them are very friendly and professional individuals.

You said that your family knows you're not interested in women.....do you suppose that they have a pretty good idea that you're gay......but they haven't brought it up yet? Do you foresee yourself telling them about it in the future?

the people who have an idea are my siblings and they're not around anymore and we also have lots of family problems so this matter is probably the last thing on their minds. i do want to tell my family, of course when the time is right.

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

^how do you know that your siblings might have an idea? Have they given you any clues? And if so, have you gotten an idea as to how they might feel about this?

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

no one gona help you. you have to change you mind. day and night feel guilty what you are doing try to figure what is good and what is bad. its all in your mind. this is your first step towards Allah and u will find alots open ways and blessing spread everwhere. i m not teling you to forget everthing and become molvi but accept the reality. let me tell you again no one is gona help you but only your father tell him how is his behaviour with u?

thats what i think

for this kinda thing the time is never right. until you really really want your parents to commit suicide :naooz:

since you are not religious, i must encourage you to try to find out the why part of such activities being forbidden in all religions. and the best way is to read about this in Quran.

there have been some incidents, which I'm not going to discuss. I don't think my siblings would care that much, of course I wouldn't be surprised if they are upset at first. I'm worried about my parents.

you mean you don't want to be change and just worried about your parents

well I have never heard of homosexuality being "cured" so I'm not expecting to be changed all of a sudden anytime soon.

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

I pray that you fight temptation and may God be on your side and assist you to fight it. I remember reading that having homosexual tendencies does not mean that you are sinful. I remember reading that the act of homosexuality itself is what is sinful. Please look towards prayer and Quran so that Allah may help you through this.

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

God will never put a burden on you that you cannot handle. God is testing you...maybe this is a sign that you need to return to God. Be steadfast in your prayers. Read quran...always remember Allah (dhikr).

Something I came across on the net, written by someone anonymous...

Allah’s Plan
Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn’t always turn out as planned.
You don’t plan for a broken heart.
You don’t plan for an autistic child.
You don’t plan for spinsterhood.
You don’t plan for a lump in your breast.
You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love – and be loved forever.
You don’t plan to be sad.
You don’t plan to be hurt.
You don’t plan to be broke.
You don’t plan to be betrayed.
You don’t plan to be alone in this world
You plan to be happy.
You don’t plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.
We, mortals, plan. But so does Allah in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand Allah’s plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when He sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger.

True, we cannot choose what Allah wishes us to carry, but we can carry it with courage knowing that He will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, Allah sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.

And sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans, but understand that we live by Allah’s grace

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

^^ even if u meant that jokingly...this sort of attitude is not going to help. He is going through a very tough time in his life. Maybe by offering your support you can help someone for a change!

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

Okay no offense, but u can say being gay a disease or something u were born with, but how wud u feel if someone had feelings for young kids ? shld they be excused coz they got this disease of being perverted with kids ?

Dude its a mental thing .... u rnt gay ! but for u the hard part wud be convincing urself ! if u liked a kids back when u were three then it is an innocent age .... u didnt know what u were doing. Now u do. Get over it ..... give girl a chance; once u make out with a gal u wud know u rnt gay.

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

u can have gay feelings but not have a homosexual lifestyle.

i wish it was that simple.

what exactly do u believe is a "homosexual lifestyle", just curious.

Re: I'm gay....what do I do?

sleeping around, clubs, drinking, talking/walking like a woman.

I dun car ewhat u do in bed but do you have to talk like a gay dude..eww!
(same for lesbians and looking like men)

dunt dont marry a girl ... but whats wrong with goin out with one ? give it a shot !

many pakistani straight males do what you just described above, including walking/talking like a girl. it should be unacceptable gay or not don't u think?

not all gays are feminine. i personally find feminine men very unattractive myself.