-so I understand that us pakistanis believe that gays are the scum of the earth so what am i to do.
-let me start by saying, it is not a choice. i can remember liking boys back when i was three years of age and over the years it has not changed, i’m in my 20’s now.
-Here are the reasons I will not marry a girl:
it will not be fair for the girl
most of my family already has an idea that girls don’t really appeal to me so it would be extremely awkward being with a girl knowing that my family knows that i have a thing for boys
-my family and i live in north america and we aren’t the most religious family, but we are pakistani
-plz don’t recite the Quran to me, yes i know what it says about homosexuality
-Don’t think that suicide hasn’t crossed my mind. me killing myself would be more damaging to my family then me telling them i’m gay
-plz, i want to hear what you have to say about pakistanis being gay
It must be really difficult for you. Im sorry that your in such a dilemma where you feel you cant be yourself due to cultural barriers. If you know what the quran has to say about homosexuality you will understand that you wont be applauded for it by many others who are muslim and pakistani (Im not judging you only allah can judge). Are your family aware of your preferences, as you did mention that they know your not interested in girls
Contemplating suicide is showing ingratitude to your lord for all the blessings he has given you, i urge you to forget the idea, you'll only be under the wrath of allah if you do so. And i agree, marrying a girl is totaly unfair and you would marry her under false pretences and you shouldnt cause an innocent girl to suffer for the rest of her life.
I pray that allah gives you the strength to see you through ur testing times and to strengthen your imaan :)
Also i just want to say that allah tests people in many different ways. Maybe this is YOUR test. A test to keep away from the sins of homosexuality and lead a pure life according to the quran and sunnah
It must be really difficult for you. Im sorry that your in such a dilemma where you feel you cant be yourself due to cultural barriers. If you know what the quran has to say about homosexuality you will understand that you wont be applauded for it by many others who are muslim and pakistani (Im not judging you only allah can judge). Are your family aware of your preferences, as you did mention that they know your not interested in girls
Contemplating suicide is showing ingratitude to your lord for all the blessings he has given you, i urge you to forget the idea, you'll only be under the wrath of allah if you do so. And i agree, marrying a girl is totaly unfair and you would marry her under false pretences and you shouldnt cause an innocent girl to suffer for the rest of her life.
I pray that allah gives you the strength to see you through ur testing times and to strengthen your imaan :)
ok , DONT WORRY we are not judging you. no one is perfect here.
firstly, pray to god. i suggest you read namaz and pray for guidance.
dont be suicidal, its not jsut against islam but its a cowards way out. if you want to change, you need to live for that. you need to pray you need to seek guidance. i will pray for you. bt seriously, the fact that you recognise this as something you dont think is right, is a start. pray my friend, please pray and a path will follow. remember you always have a choice. think carefully and be brave.
as faari said, i totally agree, also its not just a cultural barrier but a relgious one too.
can i ask how old you are and whether you have had this feelings for long...have you eve rhad a gf..or liked a girl?
ok , DONT WORRY we are not judging you. no one is perfect here.
firstly, pray to god. i suggest you read namaz and pray for guidance.
dont be suicidal, its not jsut against islam but its a cowards way out. if you want to change, you need to live for that. you need to pray you need to seek guidance. i will pray for you. bt seriously, the fact that you recognise this as something you dont think is right, is a start. pray my friend, please pray and a path will follow. remember you always have a choice. think carefully and be brave.
as faari said, i totally agree, also its not just a cultural barrier but a relgious one too.
can i ask how old you are and whether you have had this feelings for long...have you eve rhad a gf..or liked a girl?
I'm 20, and I have had these feelings for as long as I can remember. No, I have never had a gf or liked a girl, girls just don't interest me in that way (unfortunately).
there are probably loads of pakistanis who are gay.
i personally find it disgustng, and i wont apologise for my beliefs. its not my relgion thats telling me its wrong, its common sense.
if all men were gay, how would we reproduce. if being gay was right how could the world survive. the human race wouldve died a million years ago.
and its not pakistanis being gay, its just homosexuals in general. i dont categorise them by ethnicity.
are you relgious, do you pray. have you ever had a boyfriend? and do your friends know.
No, I have do not have or ever had a bf, nor do any of my friends know. I'll be honest, I'm not religious, so one could say that god's punishing me but, why would god punish me when I was a little boy?
I personally find heterosexuality to be disgusting, jk
Its a test not a punishment. A hard one i know and its very easy for people like me to sit there and say its a test but i know it must be excruciatingly difficult for you.
As Nadz said pray and ask for guidance only allah can help you and your duas
i know your not religious enough to pray but hey neither am i. i in fact have forgotten how to. but i am willing to learn. you do not need to be religious or even have 100% belief right now. as long as you are willing to change, you will.
ok, well what exactly do you like about men. heres one thing i dont get;
if a man wants to be gay, then be gay. but why do gay men have feminine tendancies. i mean if you love being so girly and feminine then surely you would have chosen to be WITH A GIRL...and not with a man.....so many gays are so girly, doesnt that defeat the object...
sorry, i know its nothing to do with ur question, just tryin to inform you about now being gay doesnt really make sense if you think about it. and take religion out just think with sense and it doesnt make any..
there are probably loads of pakistanis who are gay.
i personally find it disgustng, and i wont apologise for my beliefs. its not my relgion thats telling me its wrong, its common sense.
if all men were gay, how would we reproduce. if being gay was right how could the world survive. the human race wouldve died a million years ago.
and its not pakistanis being gay, its just homosexuals in general. i dont categorise them by ethnicity.
Ditto. No-one thinks gays are scum (to the thread starter), people think its unnatural.
I'd say u need a psychiatrist and fast, and that's just because you've contemplated suicide. Please find someone to confide in who will understand you.
YEH please see someone. a friend or a counsellor. please for your sake because unfortunately we cant do anymore than just advise you on a forum. you need to see someone face to face. talk to a friend or a teacher or a counsellor. you need to share this with someone who knows you and can help you.
don't worry I'm not suicidal, what I meant to say was that I have thought about suicide before, but it is not something I think about anymore.
I actually do know how to pray, I go for juma every week.
ok, well what exactly do you like about men. heres one thing i dont get;
if a man wants to be gay, then be gay. but why do gay men have feminine tendancies. i mean if you love being so girly and feminine then surely you would have chosen to be WITH A GIRL...and not with a man.....so many gays are so girly, doesnt that defeat the object...
sorry, i know its nothing to do with ur question, just tryin to inform you about now being gay doesnt really make sense if you think about it. and take religion out just think with sense and it doesnt make any..
i kind of agree with you about the feminine gays, you dress like a girl, talk like a girl, why not just get a sex change and become a girl. But, I'm not like that, I do not wish to be girl, I'm quite thankful that I'm not, no offense to girls.
What I like about men? I like about men, what straight guys like about girls. I may sound confusing but this is only appropriate way I can put it.
You've contemplated it mate, and you can God forbid again! As people said seek help from professionals.
Are you suggesting I should seek help to "cure" myself, if so, psychiatrists/psychologists do not consider it being a disease or unnatural anymore so I highly doubt that anyone would consider treating me for it in the area that I live.