Was talking to one of my cousins today and he mentioned that the girl he was engaged to, mashallah, she never speaks to him much. They’ve liked each other for almost 6 yrs, but she never spoke to him much till this day…
When I heard that I couldn’t help but feel like an evil witch I was thinking I too USED to be so innocent and shy ONCE UPON A TIME… When I used to literally not be able to even talk to guys, get nervous, literally aankhein aankhon se nai miltee theen dil karta tha usi wakt zameen mein gar jaaon…
aur abb
now i’m the she devil incarnate… it doesn’t even make a difference, I mean I still avoid certain topics and behave decently *…but like I’m beginning to get more comfortable around guys… and at office lunch times we’ve discussed porn, laila majnu, and ummm second marriages in a mixed group
on top of that, I come to gupshup, been two yrs, talk to na mehram guys AND I’ve got about more than 30 guys on my msn …and I was thinking, two years ago when I had discovered GS I was S.H.O.C.K.E.D that how come people here come so freely and talk to so many na mehrams so freely…and what have i become today? the same thing.
my values r sliding…my morals r in decline
yet i seem to be stuck… i’m so blinded i don’t even see the wrong in it
what is the cause of this? kaalij education in amreeka? or maybe my zameer has died aur ab ye bhee nai pata kya sahi hae kya ghalt :/*
:)You should always learn, with life comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the courage to live your life selflessly.
The more you learn about yourself and the experiences surrounding your life the more opportunities you have to make your life better and more fulfilling
seriously speaking though what's wrong with speaking to Namehram guys? all you're doing is talking and probably just exchanging views on topics. what is haram etc about that.
I think it's silly (no offence intended) that your cousin's been engaged to this girl forever now and she still refuses to talk to him. this is not hayaa, this is shyness in the lack of confidence sort of way. how will they get to know each other if they don't talk? it scares me when people make decisions this monumental without even getting to know the other person.
Faisal now if you worked instead of surfing gs- Im sure bhabi would be able to get rid of the van- and buy the car of her choice.
Irem— you have a lot of great moral values, that you live up to.If you dont like being so involved in conversations with guys- simply dont take part in them.However you cant exactly avoid talking to guys- unless you sit at home 24/7.
You aren't a witch Irem. I'm glad you are coming out of your shell. :p That doesn't make you bad, nor have you done anything wrong. Stop being so hard on yourself.
P.O.R.N bhi? Sharam tou nahi aayi aapko samdhan jee Waisay i used to be shy from girls too (yeah yeah I know what you are thinking ) but when I came to US, girls started talking to me and now I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY frank with girls and have A LOT OF girls aur aur aur…well let me keep my reply short or I’ll get yelled at
irem......i do understand why you say, that you are a witch becuz you dont feel uncomfortable talking to guys. This is what Pakistani culture is like and teaches us , its bad to talk to guys etc etc. I had the same attitude when I was in Pakistan but when I look back, i realise i made very good friends while in Pak, and most of them are guys. One of my best friend is a guy: does taht make me a bad person?I think not :)
Its not like you are doing anything wrong when talking to guys: treat them like you would treat your girlfriends. If you look at them, just like a normal friend, they would do the same for you. Makes sense witch.......err i meant chica? ;)
Morals are comprised of much, much more than talking to namehrams. Only Allah is the Judge of your intentions and your actions. If you adopt an Islamic pov, of what use would it be to close your eyes and shut your ears to all guys - how is that going to help you in adopting a more open-minded perspective. Some of the most precious lessons i have learned have been from individuals not from the same walk of life as myself - an Irish Quaker, two Muslim reverts from the Caribbean and Jamaica, and a Catholic from Colorado. If you adopt a mentality in which you close yourself from talking to others based upon their gender, then you are closing yourself to potentially quite a bit of knowledge. Note that talking, and flirting, are two mutually exclusive aspects.
Going on a tangent - think about Muslim travellers/explorers like Ibn Battuta - he relished on discovering individuals/environments/countries/cultures different than the ones he was used to. Ibn Battuta was centuries ahead of his time. Use that open-minded approach to your own advantage and you yourself, Insha’Allah, will be amazed at how much you will learn if you give yourself an opportunity to be open-minded to different situations/individuals.
just kidding, on serious note it is the essence of being human. the moment one realize n number of time it is being realized indicate the presence of zameer as u said.
Irem, its all part of growing up. I was always in co-ed, had many Guy --friends but never was too close to any. But as the years have gone by I still don't have any close guy friends but I talk to all of them and we have decent conversations but all staying in limits while over here at gs, I say pretty open things to these Gayee Buqriya beechney wale na-mehrams :)
I was thinking I too USED to be so innocent and shy ONCE UPON A TIME… 
Waisay i used to be shy from girls too (yeah yeah I know what you are thinking 
) but when I came to US, girls started talking to me and now I am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY frank with girls and have A LOT OF girls aur aur aur…well let me keep my reply short or I’ll get yelled at 
irem!
i hope that made some sense.