Re: Im a little apalled…
All stories have two sides to it , but since we have just this side of the story , i feel clearly he didnt deserve all that love and care .. and his mother must be quite selfish as well for destroying her sons marriage … its men and their mothers like this , who deserve a chalak DIL who will keep them in their places 
Re: Im a little apalled...
My question is if she was so in love with him and did everything for the mama's boy . Why could she not get along and fall in love with his mother ?
I am sure if she treated his mother the same way she treated him. His mother would fall in love with her and kick the son out for her daughter in law. Who does not like pampering.
There is more to the story and I would be interested to know that part where this girl and this boys mother could not get along and why ?
Re: Im a little apalled...
What a jerk!
I'm not an expert on this stuff but I don't even think this is allowed in Islam. Correct me if I a'm wrong but doesn't Islam say that if your wife wants a separate home, she has a right to it? So if they didn't get along, he could have moved out with his wife OR he could have lived in a duplex apartment where his wife and mom would have their own separte space but still be in close proximity. I fail to understand how he could not have resolved this issue. He was ungrateful for having a wife who loved him to pieces and he let her go! Again, what a jerk!
Re: Im a little apalled...
Mirch, moms like the one in this story (as its presented) do not WANT to get along with the wife. The wife STOLE mommys little boy. She must PAY for stealing him. Mommy will tolerate her but will also strive to make her pay dearly and will lie in wait like an evil spider for one of them to toss in the towel. Then mommy is very happy because her little boy chose HER over all else.
Re: Im a little apalled...
^ Exactly.
Re: Im a little apalled...
he makes it sound so...easy. his mother gave him a choice and he chose her, problem solved. that tells me more about him and his character than the mother herself. sounds like he used his mom as a scapegoat here, he is still not willing to take any of the blame, putting it all squarely on the mother. no remorse, no guilt...how convenient.
Re: Im a little apalled...
Not all mothers can be selfless or see their children happy... selfishness, stubborness and possessiveness can take over. I think because his wife was so madly in love with him, maybe the mother felt threatened rather than being happy or grateful that her son was blessed with someone so good. I have seen it happen alot of times, and it's really sad.
his mother isnt gonna be around forever when shes gone then he will regret over what he lost.pathetic guy.
My question is if she was so in love with him and did everything for the mama's boy . Why could she not get along and fall in love with his mother ? I am sure if she treated his mother the same way she treated him. His mother would fall in love with her and kick the son out for her daughter in law. Who does not like pampering. There is more to the story and I would be interested to know that part where this girl and this boys mother could not get along and why ?
I didnt pry too much because I dont know him that well anymore. What I did manage to get from him I believe he said because he wanted to talk to someone about it. I just happened to be there. From what he said..."un donon ki itni laraiyan hoti theen...ek doosre ki shakal dekhna pasand nahin karte the". But at the same time, he said "shayad kisi ne itna pyar kiya hoga jitna usko mujhse tha...meine kabhi nahin dekha". I was just as confused but also amazed at his attitude...he felt he did the right thing.
I think there is more to the story also...but not too much more. The reason I say that is because he unknowingly admitted he was deaf, dumb and blind in the presence of his mother.
Mirch, moms like the one in this story (as its presented) do not WANT to get along with the wife. The wife STOLE mommys little boy. She must PAY for stealing him. Mommy will tolerate her but will also strive to make her pay dearly and will lie in wait like an evil spider for one of them to toss in the towel. Then mommy is very happy because her little boy chose HER over all else.
Exactly. These two had a semi-love marriage. They found this girl through connections, the rishta was set up and they fell in love...really quickly. Mom didnt have much time to really pass a verdict because her son went bonkers for the girl so soon after seeing her. I remember it happened very quickly.
You know, it makes me think about the kind of mother I want to be when I have kids...it all starts at home. The one thing I will not tolerate is my son mistreating a woman and being unjust with her. Ever.
Re: Im a little apalled...
the mum is a drama queen. i doubt she would have really left and if she did, well, the son did not abandon her or his wife, she's the one was doing the leaving. so i don't see how in anyone's eyes he would be in the wrong.
Re: Im a little apalled...
and the boy didn't have any regrets... seems like both son and the mom have some major looney problems.
Not to worry folks - what goes around comes around...
Re: Im a little apalled...
How long were they married for?
Re: Im a little apalled...
2 years...
Re: Im a little apalled...
Thats just really sad. I think alot about the future of my boys and most of all, more than anything else, I want them each to be HAPPY and INDEPENDENT. Otherwise, I will think that I've failed as a mom. Moms have SO much power over their kids and the type of adults they turn out to be. So the moms who start wailing at their little boys "I gave my LIFE for you, you will be responsible for me, you are my whole life"....they turn their boys into permanent little boys who never grow to be men, never be independent or able to handle responsibility.
this is exactly why u Do Not marry without hapiness consent and blessing of guyz parents..espEciAlly his AmI gEe!
Re: Im a little apalled...
So wife and mother used to fight and did not want to see each other face! Need more details here.
Maybe he got tired of so much animosity at home.
Even though she loved him very much but he could not decide in his wife's favor. Mother took priority for him.
When women go to 'these kind of homes' after marriage, just loving the husband is not enough for 'survival' of marriage.
She probably thought oh, I love my husband, I will do a lot for him, and the mother, yeah she can live with us but it is our lives now!
Who knows what kind of daily routines did they have or what had been happening behind husband when he would not be home.
Re: Im a little apalled...
You make it sound like the MIL was mazloom or lachar. She obviously wasnt because she had so much influence over her son. With so much power over her husband, the DIL would have to be stupid to go to war with the MIL, right?
Why is being a good wife not enough? Where does Islam say DIL is supposed to do khidmat of her MIL?
Re: Im a little apalled...
From another thread: Hope this helps somewhat!
Not saying mother is all without any blame since the story is not complete as of yet.
*No man is ever worth it if he can't respect my mum/siblings. EVER. I don't care if he's the love of my life, everybody leaves so he might as well too. * Also, he (whoever 'he' is) can say the exact same thing to me if he wants, actually I'd expect it, but I'd try my utmost best to respect his family.
I don't think any married person can tell me 'well you're wrong once you're married life changes you have to make adjustments blah blah blah' the line's overly crossed if you have the nerve to disrespect my family and not even apologize for it, especially if I've vowed to do that for yours.
Ofcourse we'd try to sort it out but if it looks like we're getting nowhere then Adios.
Re: Im a little apalled...
PS make sure you are in contact with him and who ever he's marrying next give her all the detials of what a loser he is.