hey
here is my problem, i like to make friends
i introduced myself to a person next to me in office and just started to make friendship with him, within few days i resigned for that job and relocated to a different place for new job, on my last day in that office we exchanged our phone numbers and email ids, after sometime i realised that he give different people different mail id based on his friendship preference, he gave me a id which he rarely logs into, i keep mailing to that id and he never responded to any of my mails and i justified myself that he might be busy and could not reply to my mails
we both are from same place
and my wife want to leave india for vacation and she is travelling with a 10 month old kid for the first time and i’m not able to go with her due to work load
and i came to know that the above person is also going on vacation to india and asked his travelling dates and booked tickets for my wife on the same flight
i requested him multiple times to take care of my family on flight and to help her when carrying the luggage, he told that he will take care and there no problem at all and i introduced my family to him and asked him to help during journey, he said OK for everything
and when i call my wife in india after she reached there, i asked her about her journey and she said it was very pathetic and that guy ignored them, she has to carry both baby stroller and cabin luggage from one gate to another in amsterdam airport
i’m very much disappointed about that guys behaviour even after requesting multiple times he is of no use
but thing is he is very nice person to everyone else, but don’t know why he ignores only me
becuase of his preferences i believe! we all do it at times....
however, if i were you i wouldn't have made mistake of asking him for help once i had figure out that I am not his preferred friend.
The guy must be a jerk for not helping your wife after he said he will... i mean don't make promise if you know you aren't going to keep it. However, its weird and rude for not helping her out cuz even strangers help me with my luggage and stuff while i travel back and forth from VA to NY with my kid/kids.
however, if i were you i wouldn't have made mistake of asking him for help once i had figure out that I am not his preferred friend.
only recently i figured out that i'm not his preferred friend
i'm not a bad guy, I'm very helpful to everyone and most of the people like me
is there any reason why he didn't prefered me, while talking to me he talks very nicely as he do with others
its quite annoying to me and i feel like i have some fault in me and i asked other friends, they said they love to be my friend
and everyone says he is also very nice guy and don't know why he only ignores me
if someone hates you or loves you, you know that clearly but it will be very frustrating to you if they talk very nicely and friendly and ignores you
when you request someone to do you the favor, dont expect they will Do, for sure.
secondly, khamkhawa main kissi ko cheechaar/kambal nahi ho jate. ik do dafa darkhawast ker dii, theek hai. per yeh 'multiple times' keh keh ker kisi ka sar khana doosre ko aapne aapse Allergic kerwane ke mutradif hai
well i would say, i would care less of such idiots. This world is full of ppl who don't like me or don't wanna be my friends, although they are oh-all-so-nice-when-talk-with people, and then there are many of those who love to have me as their friends (as you said you have plenty of those as well)... so let the arrogant ones rott in their ignorance and hold the hands of the ones who value you!
BTW can you think of something in you that is making him jealous of... cuz his behavior is indicating that he is trying to let you down somehow. Or try talking to him about your wife travel and/or email addy issues in a candid manner so as to hear his side of story?????
humanity: maybe the problem is that u are expecting too much too soon from this person?
i mean u just met him and u expect him to take care of your wife and pick her luggage? why in the world would anyone do that? how long did you know him anyways? maybe he said yes just for the sake of being nice or something
friendships arent formed just like that...it takes time. and favor like that people ususally ask their long-time friends for.. if that guy had helped your wife out it would have been a very nice gesture on his part but it was not his obligation.
humanity: maybe the problem is that u are expecting too much too soon from this person?
i mean u just met him and u expect him to take care of your wife and pick her luggage? why in the world would anyone do that? how long did you know him anyways? maybe he said yes just for the sake of being nice or something
friendships arent formed just like that...it takes time. and favor like that people ususally ask their long-time friends for.. if that guy had helped your wife out it would have been a very nice gesture on his part but it was not his obligation.
we are sitting in the cublicle in office for almost 1 yr 4 months, and we both are from same city and we speak same language
becuase of his preferences i believe! we all do it at times....
however, if i were you i wouldn't have made mistake of asking him for help once i had figure out that I am not his preferred friend.
The guy must be a jerk for not helping your wife after he said he will... i mean don't make promise if you know you aren't going to keep it. However, its weird and rude for not helping her out cuz even strangers help me with my luggage and stuff while i travel back and forth from VA to NY with my kid/kids.
yes even strangers do that i helped a old lady travelling from hosuton to atlanta
who can speak only urdu she even used my cell to call her relatives, she had a connecting flight from atlanta to someother city, i accompanied her till gate after that i ranned to catch my flight
when you request someone to do you the favor, dont expect they will Do, for sure.
secondly, khamkhawa main kissi ko cheechaar/kambal nahi ho jate. ik do dafa darkhawast ker dii, theek hai. per yeh 'multiple times' keh keh ker kisi ka sar khana doosre ko aapne aapse Allergic kerwane ke mutradif hai
i just called him but i requested for the help for only once
Make your wife more self-reliant. Or don't send her on trips alone with little help.
If you're living abroad, things don't work the way they do back home. Everyone is independent, and unless they are a PERSONAL friend, there is no reason for anyone to do you any favors.
Working with a person for a year does not make them your personal friend.
Make your wife more self-reliant. Or don't send her on trips alone with little help.
If you're living abroad, things don't work the way they do back home. Everyone is independent, and unless they are a PERSONAL friend, there is no reason for anyone to do you any favors.
Working with a person for a year does not make them your personal friend.
Forgot about goras, for desis they have a min courtsey to help other fellow travellers if they are women and travelling alone
maybe he said yes to you to be polite or something but when he saw ur wife juggling between ur kids n the luggage...any decent man wud come up n help be it a stranger and he was ur 'FREN'. tells alot abt his character.
why do u even care abt such a person..ignore him as well. he is not worth being frenz with.
Make your wife more self-reliant. Or don't send her on trips alone with little help.
If you're living abroad, things don't work the way they do back home. Everyone is independent, and unless they are a PERSONAL friend, there is no reason for anyone to do you any favors.
Working with a person for a year does not make them your personal friend.
Tell it like it is girl!
No one is expected to help when I travel with my infants. If they do it out of a sense of spontenous generosity.. then fine. But to expect it as a matter of course is not on.
And let me tell you, juggling a stroller, baby and cabin baggage is really not impossible. I have done it plenty of times and I have seen plenty of people do it all by themselves.
The guy already ignored you by not returning your emails, so why would you ask him to take on your wife and child?
Perhaps he just does not like you or your wife pissed him off or something.
I really think it depends on how your wife treated him. If she was presumptuous and was like, "hey, can you get my bags while I sit here with my kid," then I wouldn't blame him for being annoyed.
I travelled alone (no kid) just a few weeks ago, and tons of people helped me out, seeing this scrawny girl trying to pick up two heavy suitcases and a carryon. But I didn't expect them to help with everything, and was very appreciative if they did.
If a person feels like they're doing you a favor and you acknowledge it while still taking the initiative to do some of the work yourself, they are much more likely to help you than if you make them feel obligated and then take their help for granted.
Forgot about goras, for desis they have a min courtsey to help other fellow travellers if they are women and travelling alone
Desis have no minimum courtesy. In fact, you displayed NO courtesy by expecting this guy to take YOUR responsibility on his shoulders. You married this woman, who apparently can't travel effectively with kids. She's your wife, not his.
I don't know what it is with desis and travelling. You give a hand, and they'll take your arm. I have had countless friends ask me favors that totally impose on me, and I've had no problem in politely refusing to help. I've had people ask me to take 10,000 dollars in cash as carry-on when travelling. I mean, what the hell is it with you desis? Telling someone you're travelling is haraam. Next thing you know, the whole biradari will be there with canned achaars and their naanimaa that they want you to travel with.
i already sent him a thank you mail
and when he returns back in a discussion i will just tell him how my wife's journey was and lets see what he answers
why are you after this poor guy? if he cared enough about how you or your wife felt, he would have struck up a friendship with you and helped our wife out. he doesn't care. this is going to sound harsh, but seriously, you need to get over it. this guy is not your friend, never will be, and probably doesn't want to be.
next time, either travel with your wife yourself, or like someone else here suggested, make her more independent.
i already sent him a thank you mail
and when he returns back in a discussion i will just tell him how my wife's journey was and lets see what he answers
Ab us becharay ke peeche parogay haath dho kay?
If he ignored your wife, what makes you think he's going to beg for forgiveness now? You are having an ego issue. I say let it go.
those who ignore you are unable to understand that feelings of people are important in building good relationships, unless you or they have utterly wrong behaviors that you both dislike or one of you likes.
but, those who ignore other people, especially after having come close to them, as in friendships meant to be made for good, but then they become victim of some one's fears and doubts, and over expectations and confusion - all of it means one things - people who are ignoring are not yet rady to be with you.
so leave them alone. if they have the honesty and maturity to own up totheir bad behavior they will do it on their own and come to you. but if they decide not to, that is fine . let them be. if you are open hearted and kind, the other side must reciprocate that, esp if that was discussed in evolving relationship that how important reciprocating is to not lose the momentum.
yet, like i said, someone who doesnot has the brains to see it, and is hung up on their doubtful and fearful guts - you plainly let them be.
& you dont ignore them.