If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

Lifestyle Relationships
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I know there is a similar thread. I got inspired by Reha. Although I’m neither Indian nor Pakistani, I can totally relate. But seriously, why should it be consider so offensive? I thought it was just a different nationality not entire ethnicity. I keep reading that the main difference is color. But wasn’t Pakistan part of India not too long ago and some physical characteristics are shared although Pakistanis tend to be lighter in general. From what I read India is so diverse.

I’ve been asked countless of times by other Indians, I might as well let them know before they even ask. Its actually humorous now. I’ve been so puzzled myself because my skin tone is olive and most Indians I see around here are pretty dark. They have a darker eyebrows and just a distinct eyebrow ridge. Even my brother who is darker than me has been asked if hes Pakistani. I’ve never been asked that. FINALLY, I know what makes me look Indian. I have kind of the same look as the actress below. The olive skin tone, big brown deep set eyes, and thin nose. These seem to be Indian features.

Does it just get annoying to repeatedly be asked if you’re from India or do you really find it offensive because you think Pakistanis are way better looking? How should the typical Indian look compared to the typical Pakistani? What are common differences in features other than skin tone?

Personally I think we should just embrace the features we have and having that exotic look. I don’t get why everyone wants to look more European. I thought it was just hispanics with this mentality and complex. I learned otherwise reading some of the posts lol.

http://i62.tinypic.com/25u3ypk.jpg

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

lolz...this is the third thread on this topic...what's the obsession? :D

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Re: If you’re not Indian yet keep being asked if you’re from India

Reha ji bahut inspiring hai aur Kyun ki ab yeh thread hogi superhit. At least 10-11 pages minimum. :slight_smile: Well not necessarily my thread lasted 2 pages.

I think ive decided it’s ok if people get offended if they’re called Indians. Everyone has different experiences and who am I to say if they feel offended they shouldnt be offended. Bas nafrat mat karo yaar dil ko lagta hai(Just don’t hate it hurts the heart) :frowning: :teary1:

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

strawberryshortcake, you say you are neither Indian or Pakistani so what is your ethnicity? I mentioned that I think Pakistanis are better looking but some say it is self hating or racist because I am Indian. Some Indians do think this though. The typical Indian is darker skinned and maybe not as tall. We're dark and everything about us is dark. The typical Pakistani is fair skinned and taller. I'd say wanting to look European is probably because the typical image of beauty is what is sold in the West. Also, it's probably got something to do with colonialism and being seen as superior if you're European looking. Some people get offended because of the history and politics of it. Some are ok with it and some hate the idea. All sorts of responses were on the thread. The reaction of people to the question partly also has to do with experiences with Indians and also how strongly they feel about political events. So it's natural to feel different responses.

If someone's had contact with Indians who have similar feeling of offence or who are similarly nationalistic they will feel same. If they have Indian friends who are not as concerned about that or not as strongly Indian, or who identify more as south asian/desi then maybe they would feel less offence. Just my opinion. I think people get more offended online than maybe they would express in real life if individually someone made an honest mistake.I think it's a patriotism thing as well. Seriously, what is with all these Indians assuming people are Indian? Embarrassing. Earlier this week I was mistaken for Pakistani and I didn't mind it. The family in question thought I was from Karachi. I thought it was a good time to put my GS knowledge to good use. :) I did let them know because I didn't want to be deceptive. I didn't mind it. Kind of liked it.All my Pakistani friends in real life are also carefree and relaxed about it. They correct but dont take it to heart. I don't think it's a unique India-Pakistan phenomenon. More than being Indian or Pakistani offence also has partly to do with political beliefs. People who are very conservative on either side and very nationalistic will take offence more easily than liberals from both ends.

PS. May have reached saturation point with the Indian-Pakistani threads. I'd probably wait a month and 2 before awakening if the response is not as expected. At the moment you have responses from 2 Indians who had been mistaken for Pakistani and were totally fine with it. Might not be the outcome you were looking for

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

Lol because I've always wondered this myself! I was going to reply to that thread but it was directed to Pakistanis. I asked my Pakistani ex who would sometimes used Indian/Pakistani interchangeably. I wondered why because I read of so many Pakistanis don't like being referred to as Indian. As if we're supposed to notice the difference right away. Maybe so, I don't know. That's why I am asking to understand!

He just told me Indians in the south were darker. Here in the states I can tell just because like I mentioned, most Indians I see around are pretty dark. A lot of Pakistanis are still dark to me but tend to be lighter and use different body language, But there is so much overlap in terms of looks. So I'm curious that's all. I like understanding instead of making ignorant assumptions.

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Re: If you’re not Indian yet keep being asked if you’re from India

[quote=“shaasavera”]

strawberryshortcake, you say you are neither Indian or Pakistani so what is your ethnicity? I mentioned that I think Pakistanis are better looking but some say it is self hating or racist because I am Indian. Some Indians do think this though. The typical Indian is darker skinned and maybe not as tall. We’re dark and everything about us is dark. The typical Pakistani is fair skinned and taller. I’d say wanting to look European is probably because the typical image of beauty is what is sold in the West. Also, it’s probably got something to do with colonialism and being seen as superior if you’re European looking. Some people get offended because of the history and politics of it. Some are ok with it and some hate the idea. All sorts of responses were on the thread. The reaction of people to the question partly also has to do with experiences with Indians and also how strongly they feel about political events. So it’s natural to feel different responses.

Shaasavera, I am hispanic. Are you generalizing Pakistanis as being better looking overall? What do you mean typical Pakistani is fair skinned? My interpretation of fair skin is white. Most Pakistanis I see around still look tan to me. I know there are always a few exceptions but that’s in every race. I agree that there are gorgeous Pakistanis but I’ve also seen gorgeous darker skin Indians. Not even kidding. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with skin tone.

If even me who is not even close to Indian constantly get mistaken, I know its not based on my complexion. Its in my features, I’ve learned to embrace my exotic look :smiley: I love my big brown eyes. I kind of like when people are all curious to know where I am from.

I just find the whole obsession with wanting to look more white absurd! Its not only in the desi community, hispanics are kind of the same although not as hardcore. Its this mentality that gets spread around that looking white is superior. Its so stupid :smack:

But your explanation on the political issue makes more sense. I guess people have a sense of loyalty and pride about their country which is a good thing. But there’s no reason to look down or up to others based on something so trivial like skin color.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

Well you have a few options:

1- Stop eating curry.
2- Bath with antibacterial soap and use deodorant.
3- Try keeping your head still while you talk.
4- Use fair & lovely.
5- Wax unwanted body hair.

If that doesn't help, kill yourself.

For a more detailed response, you can refer to my post in the original thread.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

Oh wow Iconolast, way to stereotype. Considering none of those even apply.....I think I rather be a 4.0 student climbing the ladder of success :)

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Re: If you’re not Indian yet keep being asked if you’re from India

i find it easy to differentiate a pakistani from indian by features but i dont want to mention why because some might feel offended.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

SBSC, since pretty much everyone opined on the subject in Reha Ji's thread, I thoughy thats the only thing you wanted to hear, so here I am to oblige.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

@ Tamur I understand. I can differentiate most of time only by the reasons I've mentioned but I can't quiet put my finger on it when India is so diverse. With dating a Pakistani before I noticed the body language, that's what I pick on when meeting other Pakistanis. I'm not trying to offend anyone either but as outsider that's how i've learned to differentiate when is not that obvious.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India


kaise janaab? kia PakistaniyoN ke sar pe seeng hotii hai? :D j/k lol

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Re: If you’re not Indian yet keep being asked if you’re from India

[quote=“strawberryshortcake”]

That’s quite cool that you’re hispanic. I see that as one of the exotic races. I think most Pakistanis and Indians wouldn’t mind being mistaken for hispanic. I guess my generalising was wrong and this was picked up by other Indian posters. I’ve only ever been generalised as being from Pakistan and i didn’t mind. Never been mistaken as being hispanic though I wouldnt mind. I like looking Indian but who doesn’t mind having international looks :slight_smile: I guess I was thinking of positive stereotypes that Indians have of Pakistanis. Pakistanis being further higher North are slightly more fairer looking. In the subcontinent, like in asian countries, fair signals that you are “better looking” because of the colonial mentaliity i think. If you are fairer then you are seen as higher class. MOst broad minded desis are over that fair is better mentality. I made a thread on positive stereotypes about Pakistanis by foreigners. Feel free to comment and mention your positive experiences with Pakistani culture. http://www.paklinks.com/gs/relationships/641868-how-do-you-deal-with-stereotypes-from-foreigners-can-positive-stereotypes-offend.html Let me know if there are a few new facts there which are new.

Thanks for not minding being mistaken for being Indian. I think the fact we are 1/6th of the population makes some Indians assume out of excitement though they shouldn’t. It’s like you going to the UK and coming across someone you think is Hispanic can make you excited. India has a diversity of looks from the north, north east to south which can span many nationalities. With the white obsession unfortunately it is present even among african americans. I like being brown :slight_smile: I think your Pakistani ex was most likely a Pakistani liberal/progressive hence he used it interchangeably. Most of my Pakistani friends are liberal minded and they don’t mind either. I am part of a few Indo-Pakistani groups and the liberals across the border have lot of love for each other and appreciation for our shared south asian culture and heritage. Some of our conservatives don’t like it though :)They’d prefer to deport us because we like Indian/Pakistani things. WHy can’t a Pakistani like Indian movies/dramas or why can’t an Indian appreciate Pakistani dramas/culture? I’d prefer a Pakistani liberal over Indian hater conservative any day. You can’t deny that in a 1000+ year history there will be similarities and i’d rather dwell on our similarities than differences. It’s not just about conservativeness either so I shouldn’t generalise. I made a Pakistani bhai here. He would be considered conservative by Western standards yet he didn’t mind having an Indian sister and we get along really well even when we’re not active on GS. He regretted reading some of the comments on the thread which responded with hate/offence but I think its more of a reflection of the nature of a forum. Even in Indian forums there would be similar type of people who like to engage in a hate competition of which would be better. They are a minority though here and there. I think the colour is just a reason given but the actual reason animosity. Some wouldn’t mind being mistaken for sri lankan or nepali, both of whom are similar colour. While some Pakistanis may use colour to look down on Indians, some Indians may think are more broad/open minded and use that to look down on Pakistanis. Still there are Pakistani liberals more open minded/fun loving then Indian conservatives. So it’s a matter of life view rather than nationality.

If you see my “hate” thread I think it is also because they want to be acknowledged for their differences and don’t want to be merged with Indians. Fair enough our histories are not rosy and no one, not even the Pakistani liberals, want anyone to deny their identity but we just think there should be less hate among civilian populations. We can’t control governments/armies and we can’t change a past that existed before we were born.

Yet in real life and when abroad this animosity does not surface as much among the ordinary population. In my college I have had Pakistani housemates. Our non-desi housemates always ask do we hate each other just like for eg. north and south korea hate each other. I say most common people don’t hate the individual person. He was tanned skinned and didn’t look that much different to me. As a local when my parents bought me my fav desi dishes they would ask if he wanted anything or if there was any food he liked. Even my other Indian housemate with hardcore conservative BJP supporting parents would ask if my Pakistani housemate if he wanted any food/or had any favourite dishes. Desi family values and knowing what it is like to miss home and your parents go beyond national differences. Sometimes conservatives are more liberal minded than those who profess to have liberal beliefs.

People like to compare our animosity to Israel/Palestinians or to North KOrea/South Korea or Serbia/Croatia or even Ireland and Scotland with the English. Would you expect hardcore religious/political conservative parties on opposite sides of the spectrum there to ever cultivate a family like relationship or a brother/sister relationship between them? Not really. If they did their media wouldn’t let them get away with it. It only happens in India/Pakistan. I’d say it was because of desi values. Even I can go around GS calling people api/baji/bhai (terms for sister or brother) and no one has stopped me yet by saying “you’re Indian you can’t call me that.” Even the conservative members haven’t minded.:slight_smile: I’ve heard North/South Koreans don’t even talk or share meals..and they are probably more culturally homogenous than us. BJP Shatrughan Sinha attends marriage of Zia ul-Haq’s grandson in Pak BJP is the Hindu conservative nationalist party in India and Zia Ul Haq represents the religious conservative nationalist elements in Pakistan. Zia’s daughter has a brother/sister relationship with a BJP actor-politician spanning over 20 +years. It was started when he was in power. The political events have not affected their relationhip. No wars, no border skirmishes. No one would doubt their patriotism. A recent cheesy example would be the prime ministers of both countries exchanging gifts for the other’s mother and twittering about it. I guess if the majority of people of both countries hated each other or were so offended then the media wouldn’t love this type of news. Sinha visited Pakistan even when there were border skirmishes and media were asking him provocative conditions. That is because the importance of a relationship lasting many years is obviously more important for them then skirmishes which happen. They can’t control it..so how can the average civilian. I’d hope the ordinary civilian can learn from them.

Probably even some Indian and Pakistani families might not have close sibling relationship like they do. My parents love Pakistani dramas. My dad whenever he meets a Pakistani asks them about the character’s names and if they watch serials. If they deny watching Pakistani dramas and they are young he tells them they should. He’s like “Angrez mat bano. Pakistani ho dramas to dekho. Acche hain” (Don’t try to be White/English and deny your identity. If you’re Pakistani be proud of it.)

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

wow! you guys have a lot of 'free' time on your hands...enjoy long posts! :)

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

It's fine yaar. I think you mean the colour-based differences and height as well? My dad is Indian and he can identify people down to city like if they are from Karachi, Lahore or Rawalpindi. Personally i don't have that skill.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India


I only write long posts on topics im passionate about. I came back after long absence. Thoda enjoy karne do. Ab hum ja rahe hain...Waise bhi im a student so i don't have much knowledge to give on relationship topics. I will now stop procrastinating.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

@ Iconoclast No, I wanted to know if there really is such thing as a Pakistani or Indian look in terms of features. Over & over I read Pakistani's are fairer. This is not always the case and its not always that obvious. So if Pakistan is just a different nationality why get all bent out of shape to that degree. Why let something that happened over half a decade ago still make you that bitter and angry today. I went back to read the rest of the comments and I wonder if the reason are purely politics. Maybe to some but move on. I guess only in the perfect world everyone will get along.

The thing is that I see some of the same stuff in the hispanic community and we didn't even have those wars. In fact its all pure ignorance and a so false superiority complex. Some people are so close minded they can't see outside their brainwashed misconceptions.

We need to stop promoting ignorance and hate. Yes, feel proud of your country. I know the feeling of being proud of that richness of your culture so I understand!!!!! But we can also appreciate the rest. I personally find both Pakistan and Indian culture very interesting and rich. Of course it is different but you guys have many similarities as well. You can embrace your roots and still be proud of your Country. But that's just my humble opinion. I guess not much else to say.

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

I think apart from being a bit fairer if they are from some parts of Pakistan there may be no other noticeable facial appearance. It also depends on the pakistani and indian migrants in your country and where they are from.
I agree it's political. I was not born during partition or the wars apart from kargil. Still it's not like I have a say in that or in gov policy so it's pointless to blame individuals.
I think on the forum people would want to show patriotic they are maybe compared to real life. I agree moving forward is best. I hope all Indians and Pakistanis think like you one day.

Iconclast probably doesn't realise she is more open minded than she thinks she is. She didn't even mind me calling her baji(sister) :)

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

@Shasaveera You do seem pretty passionate about the Pak/Indo relationship. It seems like you really appreciate Pakistanis as your brothers. Its good that despite everything that is said you focus on the positive things. Why return hate with hate? I applaud you for this.

But don't ever let people's belittling ignorant comments make you feel like you're not as good. I say that because you said yourself that Pakistanis are better looking. Its like you're promoting that idea. Some need to get off their high horse! I know not everyone is the same, people are individuals. But I've seen many instances of the superiority complex thanks to the ideas that go around. There is outer beauty in every race not that its what matters the most. Its the heart of people. I personally have had plenty of good experiences with Indians. Almost every single one I've met is so kind and warming. You don't need to thank me for not feeling insulted! They're very nice people. At first I was just puzzled but then I informed myself that there is so much diversity like in the hispanic community. Plus I hate stereotypes! I hear that enough with us to know better!

Although not everyone is as openminded my ex kind of was. He would always tell me about how he was often mistaken for being hispanic. He didn't seem to mind. Although I could tell the difference because to me hispanics have softer features. Other than that it really didn't feel like interracial dating to to me when we both practically had the same complexion. The elephant in the room was religion. Although I loved learning all about his, I even tried fasting but I have my own.

But I see your point on politics and patriotism. Thank you for giving me your point of view as an insider on the topic. That's why I'm sometimes here to understand better :)

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Re: If you're not Indian yet keep being asked if you're from India

Glad you are here and interested to know about us desis whether pakistani or indian :) even I personally didn't know how complicated these issues were till I ventured online. I appreciate them as fellow desi brothers and sisters but also as humans. Like with any other ethnicity. I've met many wonderful Pakistanis that negativity from either side doesn't phase me. Sadly it exists among some Indians also.

The passion part comes from my interaction online with many Pakistanis living in pakistan who liked things about India. I did not expect that many. Just like I like pakistani things but didn't think there were many like me. But then I dug deeper and the appreciation is wider.
Also knowing about history I realise that we have some common South Asian heritage/culture which u can even see in regional languages, weddings, clothes etc

Even historical sites like Indus valley civilisation (after which India is named) located in pakistan is as much my cultural heritage like it is for Pakistanis. And like the Mughal architecture in India is for many Pakistanis.

All this common culture existed before there was an official India/Pakistan. Some can deny it but there are plenty of Indians/Pakistanis who will carry this legacy of common culture forward.

Thanks for your kind words about us. I know maybe my generalisation was broad. I'm happy being indian and I wouldn't change my indian looks. Neither do I think external appearance is important like you pointed out. But I do hear the comparison and if it makes people happy to know they are much different looks wise then I'm happy to concede it.

Even in partition people from many parts of Pakistan and India moved. Not only from places like Lahore, Karachi, but also Balochistan and khyber pakhtunwa..some of those became big movie stars like the kapoors/khans. So will not their children have any common look to the natives of that land? Even from pakistani ethnicities where people are not seen to have 'typical indian looks' people have migrated to India. So it's really odd to say there are no similarity or connections.

all that is in past and I wish Pakistanis and Pakistan well. India is not perfect we have lot of issues also. It shouldn't be a competition ..we should look beyond and compete with other Asian countries like japan and china. I also hope the ethnicities which people are delighted to be confused with whether Greek, Turkish,Iranian or Arabic also return the love and are happy to be similarly labelled. I hope also they appreciate unique pakistani culture.

There are probably Indians who think like some Pakistanis and May get offended to be called Pakistani. But there are many who like me acknowledge our similarities. Even Bollywood film stars,eg anil kapoor(an actor from slumdog millionaire) are proud of their pathan roots. Pathan being an ethnicity in Pakistan. If it was so offensive why would a popular actor be proud?

In one billion people a variety of views can exist. The type of Indians and ethnicities one encounters in US, UK are not reflective of all Indians as there are a wide variety of ethnicities. Same with Pakistan.