IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

Maybe that is all your M-I-L could afford, if you want more tell your husband to be buy you some more. It is him you are marrying after all!!!

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ur mum sounds like my mum :slight_smile: give her a big juphi from me :hugz: gotta love them

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

Why is everyone just looking at one aspect of it? If the inlaws can afford to get something nice and pretty for their DIL wouldnt they WANT to get it? Wouldnt they want to get something that their future DIL will love?

If you are gonna be stubborn and only spend x amount of money which is way less than what u can afford then why spend it all? it is different if ur dil likes small sets. and then if u can afford it why only get her 1 small set?

the girl said, her inlaws are pretty well off. and after the wedding she will be going to dinners and events. im sure just like the rest of the girls here, she would wanna wear new, nice and pretty things in which case dont u think that if the inlaws are well off, they should get more than just 1 small set? no one here is measuring the love of the MIL towards the DIL in the amount of money she spends on jewelery.

but when ur marrying ur son and getting a dil to come to your house, a house that is completely new/different to her and shes coming with apprehensions/fears/excitement dont u want to welcome her whole heartedly? wouldnt u want to get her things that she likes?

heck! my FIL still goes out to get my favorite food whenever i visit him!

so yes, im sorry to point out but a MIL shouldnt be cheap she should be very giving at her son's wedding because her son's wife is coming into a completely new household and before the MIL can actually show her DIL that she will love and care for her, one huge way of showing her acceptance and care for the DIL is to sincerely purchase gifts that her DIL will like and not purchase things just because she has to due to societal pressures.

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

wid me.. i wud see how much my MIL spent for her daughter( if shes married or getting married). den i wud tell her dat i want to b treated like part of da fam and not someone from outside.. so if shes spending a dollar on her daughter..spend a dollar on me.. if shes spending millions on her daughter.. i xpect da same treatment....
n if she doessss buy me cheapp stuff.. den i will complain too my hubbie like no tomarrow..andd make sure he gives me and gets me da respect i deserve:P..

Name thread
45

Awwwwww :(…

im craving for her juphi too :(…

she is pakistan …i miss her :frowning:

46

Personally, I do not see it as a big deal. Life is too short to complain about how little gold your MIL got you. You have your whole life in front of you to enjoy, don't let something like this hold you down. :)

If the gift is not very useful to you, do the right thing and donate it to a good cause or a charity. What a beautiful way to start a married life, to share with those less fortunate, those who will probably never touch gold.

Plus, your Husband to Be will shower you with gifts, I am sure. Don't worry about the MIL so much! Sometimes they can be Stubborn!

It seems many on this board would be dissatisfied with their partner if he/she could not purchase them expensive items...well maybe you should consider an arranged marriage with a very rich person. You may not find true love, but you will have plenty of shiny things, after all...isn't that all you need in life?:(

Timepass April 2013
Timepass April 2013
47

Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

What people don't understand is that it's not about how much gold she's giving you ...it's the thought behind it. You might be thinking...'hey...if she's stingy now then what will it be like after the wedding?'.....

I agree with SGC...never have expectations going into this marriage...don't expect her to be like your mother because she never will. I had a similar situation to yours where my mother-in-law was pulling the same crap. And I noticed...she gave her own daughter a LOT more than she ever gave me - Quality and Quantity wise - and my in-laws are well off. It hurt me in that I 'expected' her to treat me like she would her own daughter. I thought...she's really not giving me...but in a way..she's actually giving (sets, gifts, gold, etc. etc.) to her son. Think about it, if my MIL had another daughter, instead of my husband, would she give her the same amount that she did me? OF COURSE NOT...the daughter would get more!!!!..it''s a cultural thing..I hate to say it but it happens all the time. Just because i'm the bahu...she skimped out...and it hurts.

I also agree with Sumorani - honesty is a key factor in a healthy relationship. If you have an open dialogue with him, then you may choose to express your feelings.

But I pray that GOD blesses you with happiness and that you live a happy life with your husband. Ultimately, this is what really matters. As long as the guy is good-hearted, you have nothing to worry about.

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

I dunno. I just find all this really weird. Firstly when I give gifts I love to try to give someone something they would like. In the future I would probably take my DIL shopping with me so her and I can both choose together. Not only that but I've told my mom already that we are gonna give the same amount of jewelry to my brothers wife, if not more because I know I want her to have a sense of equality when coming into my family. I don't want all these thoughts going thru her mind and want her to be able to share a close bond with all of us instead of just looking at us as inlaws. Yes u don't buy that kind of bond but it speaks volumes when u go out of ur way to make someone feel loved and accepted by giving them the opportunity to choose what they like and voice their opinion over such matters.

Yes, hopefully your married life will be great, your husband will be awesome and you will get so many things later on but the wedding is also a great deal and although you shouldn't expect your inlaws to ever be like ur family and give everything they possibly can, the inlaws should not be stingy as well.

Timepass April 2013
Timepass April 2013
49

Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

^ agreed. I just had a son last year. And I made a promise to myself that inshallah I will take the daughter-in-law shopping with me so she gets whatever SHE wants. And I will do the same for her if not more than if I had a daughter. That's how my mother raised me. She will do for his wife that she did for me because she wants her to feel like she's never left a family.

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

at the end of the day...gold doesnt matter....wat matters if tht ur MIL to be and u have a healthy relationship...if you want more gold..u can buy more after u get maried...and all tht gold sitting aorund in the locker only eats dust...

so be happy for atleast u got a 13 tola set...
dont focus on where you start...focus on where you end!

and with all the amazing clothes, and makeup and jewelry and chooriyan..
a small set or a big set doesnt matter....you should look happy..and thts all tht matters i think.

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

Yeah I understand her MIL should treat her the way she would treat her own daughters. But even if she gives her a lot of gold, that doesn't show she really loves her or respects her. People get married in rich families all the time and the in-laws give tons of gold to their daughter in law, yet problems still arise between the MIL and the daughter in law. In such cases, I guess the gold wasn't enough to show how much the MIL 'loves' her daughter in law.

The Hi/Bye Thread
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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

giving an x amount of gold is not the issue. The issue is giving the dil what she wants and things that the mil can honestly afford.

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

^ Yeah that's true. Jeeez, this whole MIL DIL tension will never fade away will it?! Why can't we all just get along? haha

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

uuff my daughter;s mil took her for shopping today and she bought that humangas rani haar(pure gold),,and my daughter is not happy ,,us ko newstyle ka chahye,,,kuch bol bhee nahee saktay,,,,

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the particular issue in this topic reminds me of my grandmother (may her soul rest in peace.aamin) there have been such issues arising in every other shadi in family.friends when larki/larki walay are not happy with the design or quantity of gold given-and she used to say ’ betay ki shaadi ki dafa sub maa-oan ko maut parr jati hai sonaa detay huay and shadi pe /rasmoan pe kharcha kartay huay. tub subko islaam yaad aa jata hai keh mehndi function haraam hai, meray husband sakht khilaaf hain,etc etc beti ki dafa sub kharcha kartay hain aur kehtay hain larkay waaloan ne pressurise kiya tha’ :halo: I have seen this in some friends/collegue’s weddings (REALLY well off families) making the tiniest gold set for walima, an ugly shalwar qamiz as a bridal dress on walima (saying that we felt it would suit the bahu more than a lehnga) and the most boring food and venue .. and I have attended daughter’s weddings from the same families and see them spending like hell on them !

if we look into religious aspect, there is no liability on in laws for giving a certain amount of gold. and gold or material things should not matter at all in having any hard feelings for them it’s their stuff-nahin daitay tau bhaar may jayen :smiley: I am sure you’ll have much good and a lot of things/gifts from your mom. stay happy using / wearing them :slight_smile:

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

well nadz, in the other hand... hope u are taking a lot of jehaz with you to your inlaws.

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this is a total mis-perception.

  1. In-Laws are In laws-within family or out of family doesnt matter

  2. atleast in my family, weddings within family have been more taken care of as any 'kanjoosi/garbar' will lead to bashing of the in laws from ALL the related family since they all know each other and are related. if an unknown one/ out of family in-laws does the same hanky panky, they are firgiven since everyone thinks 'they are a new family-unn may yeh riwaaj nahin hoga' . so you see, within family walay inlaws logically need to be more cautious to take care their reputation and impression warna apnay khandaan may he bud-naam ho jayengay.

58

wat is humangas rani haar....can someone post pics.........i never heard of it

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if she took her to shopping than didnt she ask her Daugter in law that do you like this or ask her to chose for herself..........if she didnt ask than whats the use of taking her.......

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Re: IF your MIL wanted to buy you the cheapest gold set, would you mind?

kya kahoon????????????????????