I’ve seen so many threads against MIL in this forum and not a single one against Daughter in laws and I know the reasons. Its not because daughter in laws in general is the most innocent and shareef group of people and there is nothing wrong with them but because MILs are not on this forum to share their point of views.
So let me ask all you daughter in laws a simple question? If you were a Mother in Law, would you like to have a Daughter in Law just like yourself (means the kind of daughter in law that you are right now)?
Yep, I would love to have a Daughter-in-law who was like me.
By the way, I love my MIL (she's lovely with just a few faults :p which can be ignored) and she says I'm a 95% near to perfection DIL :D Not everyone can be totally perfect you know ;)
I’ve seen so many threads against MIL in this forum and not a single one against Daughter in laws and I know the reasons. Its not because daughter in laws in general is the most innocent and shareef group of people and there is nothing wrong with them but because MILs are not on this forum to share their point of views
very true, i have noticed that women easily outnumber men here hence we see a very one-sided version of husbands, in-laws and marriage in general, basically they are clobbered to death :( i'm scared of these women, so catty! men and mums-in-law on this forum, speak up! time for a revolution!
wow. It depends. I would love to have a DIL like myself for my oldest son. He needs the extra support - to eat, to maintain focus, to get to sleep (and stay asleep) etc. He needs a very involved and caring person.
For my middle son, Id like him to marry a more outgoing person. I dont generally like people lol. He does. So he needs a more vibrant person than me. I think the same goes for my youngest but its still a bit soon to tell.
One thing I know for sure is that I'm trying to teach my boyz right from the start that its ok for me and the Dad to have a say in who they marry. No one knows them as well as their parents. And since we have nothing but their happiness in mind, I think we can help guide them when it comes time for them to choose a life partner. INshallah, Mashallah, they will each find the one that is perfect for them.
Sometimes.. NO... Even though I think I am pretty okay daughter in law but at times I do nag about how my in laws are. They may be slightly weird at times but they do me no harm. So yeah gotta work on this one thing.
Well my hubby to be tells me that Im great with his mom and there is not one thing he would like me to change, so ya I think im gonna be pretty good!!
She is not the type to play games, and nor am I, so, if i do something wrong she'll tell me with an open heart, just like my own mother would. Which I love. I respect her soo much because, my bf loves her. And not only that but she recognizes the fact that I'm gonna be a wife first then a DIL, so she never butts into our business like these other creepy MIL's.
She is gonna be the best MIL ever, and iA' I'll be the best DIL:D
Can't wait to get married:@:!!!
The only problem we're gonna have is the fect that we both wear the same size, and she loves to share clothes, while me on the other hand will like to kill anyone who touches my clothes or even comes near them:D
I think I am going to be more than a superb MIL b/c my motto in life is : Live and Let Live , with almost everyone , if some one seek my advice I do give that, or sometimes warn ppl ahead but I let other ppl live thr lives and I think this is a very important quality to be present in the best MILs , also as a DIL I am the same, if I am told something abt things by my MIL I listens, I never try to pry things that my MIL tries hard to hide, I try to help as much, I never interfere in my MIL pvt life and its vice versa, so even we are living together, we have a life we both share and at the same time a little our private lives.
I heard that aurat's real Ikhlaaq is tested when she becomes a mother in law.So I want to be a good mother in law and no I don't want my DIL to be like me I just want her to be herself but not mnean :D
Um, I think I'd be happy to have DIL who could keep my son in line.
At any rate, TLK, you have to remember that our generation of girls is being raised in a very different environment than our mothers may have experienced. Many Pakistani women of the MIL generation either were not educated or they were but never held jobs. They were taught to be very subjugated to the in-laws, but they were also taught to be subjugated in general - whether its putting up with harassment on the streets, or accepting that unless their dad was prime minister they would never have a chance in politics, etc.
Our generation values individualism way more - does not value the "Allah Mian ki ghayn" approach towards women - believes in female education, female access to jobs, and female independence - believes in a 50-50 balance between husband and wife, etc etc. So, yeah if I had an opinionated, independent, hard-working, productive, and straight up honest DIL, I'd be happy about it.
Here's what I would not want in a DIL:
Materialistic. She'd leave my son the minute she doesn't get her gold churian. Not acceptable.
Keeps me from seeing my grandkids. Granted I dont plan on being over their home all the time, but I'd be sooooo happy to be a free babysitter. So, do I want her to have a job? Yeah, so I can have the kids during the day. :D
Erm, other than that - can't think of anything that would severely peeve me off. I would raise my son to make sure he remembers to take care of me financially, if the occasion arose.
But you know, these are things that I, as a DIL, would not have issues with either. shrugs
i dunno if i'll be good mil or not but will certainly try to avoid some common mil mistakes such as not letting go n interferring in every matter. i think i'm pretty good with it as i never interfere with my in-laws way of living even though i disagree with tons of things.
with my kids i'm very bossy but once they will be all ready set to go i'll close my eyes on petty issues. if they will be happy in their house with their spouses i'll be happier in my house. yes will separate them for sure.
Now to hav a dil like me i might opt for a modified, better version of me :)
i dont interfere, and dont let anyone else interfere (in respect to myself) ... and i guess at the core of it ... this is wat humans want ... freedom from un-asked-for advices and suggestions ...
??
so yeah