Don’t ever let two women from different family background live together in that home for a long time, specially when you also have children. This is the biggest mistake some of the desi people make. For example, two brothers living together when leave for office, they leave their wives at home. When both of them return home tired and exhausted, a scenario is waiting from them. She said this to me, I replied this, then she said this, then I replied this, she did this, I did this, why didn’t she do this after I did this…so on.
p.s. Alhamdulillah, this has nothing to do with my personal life because I live in a separate house, but this is what I have come to know from people. Even in cases of MIL and DIL living together, better not let alone two women together if you leave for office. **In your absence, **they both should spend their day away from each other, otherwise be prepared for a whole story and series of complains from both sides every time you return home. Even if both might realize their mistake later and might clear their temporary misunderstandings but that would mostly happen after half of your brain has been eaten up by complains against each others.
In general, women are a lot better than men in many fields of life. They are more caring, emotional and sensitive but when it comes to living together and SHARING house, belongings..etc.,… no offense intended towards anyone, but the facts have to be stated the way they are.
I was talking about general present day examples I have come across specially in subcontinent and Asian countries where combine family system is common. People with strong Imaan and fear of Allah (swt) are very rare in present age, unfortunately. It requires a very strong Imaan to be able to make sacrifices while living in one house and sharing belongings specially when you spend the whole day together with someone (for a long time) which exposes a lot of faults in people and not all of them are "forgiven and forgotten" by people like me with weaker Imaan. I might be totally wrong, but this is what I have realized from the amount of complains I come across these days.
I have mentioned here women because they have more interaction while living under the same roof for a whole day. **Such problems doesn't exist in men (in most cases) not because they have a stronger Imaan but because they leave the home early and return late so there is not much of interaction between them. **Please forgive me if anyone felt offended by the first post, but it is really hurting to see people in joint family system complaining about fights every now and then.
Your posts get me thinking. How right you are about people needing stronger imaans and bigger hearts to overlook flaws of people that they live with but aren’t biologically related. It’s indeed tough.
In cases where they have to live together, it is better to pray together. If they offer namaz together and praise Allah (swt) together, the divine blessings would protect them from the prejudice that Shaitaan (devil) tries to put in their hearts.
Off topic.
Well, it could be a blessing in disguise that a poster here doesn't know that there is a PM facility available on this forum, otherwise it would be difficult for the victim to report his irrelevant "messages".
I was talking about general present day examples I have come across specially in subcontinent and Asian countries where combine family system is common. People with strong Imaan and fear of Allah (swt) are very rare in present age, unfortunately. It requires a very strong Imaan to be able to make sacrifices while living in one house and sharing belongings specially when you spend the whole day together with someone (for a long time) which exposes a lot of faults in people and not all of them are "forgiven and forgotten" by people like me with weaker Imaan. I might be totally wrong, but this is what I have realized from the amount of complains I come across these days.
I have mentioned here women because they have more interaction while living under the same roof for a whole day. **Such problems doesn't exist in men (in most cases) not because they have a stronger Imaan but because they leave the home early and return late so there is not much of interaction between them. **Please forgive me if anyone felt offended by the first post, but it is really hurting to see people in joint family system complaining about fights every now and then.
You are absolutely rite...(the red part above)
I am trying to find a co-relation between what you are discussing and the Imaan, assuming you have a clue about what Imaan really means.
Imaan is acceptance with the heart of:
Allah
Qayama (the hereafter)
Malaika
The Devine Guidance
The Prophets
how does having a stronger or weaker Imaan, dealing with the common situation like the topic of your post co-relate ?
just PM me if you are trying to score some points in-front of these innocent naive girls and I will leave you alone .....
;)
You are right brother, but you see a "stronger" Imaan does have a positive impact on our daily life matters. Like we all just need to let things out once in a while, specially after we get frustrated from the consistent unintentional mistakes of people with whom we live every day for more than 10 hours. A stronger Imaan in the reward on the day of judgment (in the form of Allah's happiness) for our sacrifices helps us in forgiving and forgetting people's faults.
People like me with weaker Imaan need to pray to Allah (swt) for strength and patience to be able to easily forgive and forget. Any person with strong belief (Imaan) in reward on the day of judgment wouldn't mind sacrificing wordly things for it.
Well, it could be a blessing in disguise that a poster here doesn't know that there is a PM facility available on this forum, otherwise it would be difficult for the victim to report his irrelevant "messages".
In case it was misunderstood, it was only meant for only that person who sends random messages of "Hello Hi how are you" to any random lady of this forum in the middle of a serious discussion. No request intended towards anyone who doesn't do that.
In case it was misunderstood, it was only meant for only that person who sends random messages of "Hello Hi how are you" to any random lady of this forum in the middle of a serious discussion. No request intended towards anyone who doesn't do that.
really ?
how do you know that?
who does that ?
Can't MODs find out ? if it's not one of the MODs himself ............
Have you ever noticed why there are way more guys in prison then women? I hear, for some reason they always get into fights with each other, like physical fights with people they are close too, like you know they hit their wife, or beat their kids, or hate their neighors. You know, people that they share things with.
I can't speak for everyone, but my observation is that the ideal situation for most people is to live separately from their in-laws....because they feel this is more conducive to a peaceful home environment. However, due to certain circumstances, such a situation is not always possible for a couple.
In the event that one has to live with their in-laws, a **greater **effort to be diplomatic and to resolve conflicts in a peaceful manner is required. You have to learn to let some things slide and pick and choose your battles. It is natural for one to get into a spats with their own parents and siblings, therefore it is not unusual to enter conflicts with people outside of your immediate family.
Your posts get me thinking. How right you are about people needing stronger imaans and bigger hearts to overlook flaws of people that they live with but aren’t biologically related. It’s indeed tough.
