Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
The children at my wedding were quite well behaved, one of the little kids took his mom's camera and was busy taking our pictures. I felt really bad when the photographer told him to step a side. I think it is fun to have kids at the wedding. Rest it is parents job to manage their behavior.
I think my invites were addressed to Mr. & Mrs. but my mom did count children when giving the head count.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
Absolutely, I completely agree with you! I was just pointing out what desi’s are like.
And thats exactly what happens, not only do they not RSVP, but along with the people that were invited, they bring everyone form their neighborhood. 
That’s one of the reasons I wouldn’t even bother asking for just adults.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I knew we are not getting RSVPs back, so I did not print any RSVPs, instead used them for my wedding favors. I printed a little thank you note on them and it went in the wedding favors. My mom called everyone on the guest list to get a final head count. She even told people that she has to give a headcount and need to know the exact number of people attending. I think it worked out pretty well for us.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I knew we are not getting RSVPs back, so I did not print any RSVPs, instead used them for my wedding favors. I printed a little thank you note on them and it went in the wedding favors. My mom called everyone on the guest list to get a final head count. She even told people that she has to give a headcount and need to know the exact number of people attending. I think it worked out pretty well for us.
Good thinking! ;)
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
for some functions it is nice to have kids and for others maybe not...kids do add "roonak"
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I knew we are not getting RSVPs back, so I did not print any RSVPs, instead used them for my wedding favors. I printed a little thank you note on them and it went in the wedding favors. My mom called everyone on the guest list to get a final head count. She even told people that she has to give a headcount and need to know the exact number of people attending. I think it worked out pretty well for us.
I may be in the minority but I'd ask for RSVPs because I don't have time to chase people around asking if they're coming or not... My rule is if you don't RSVP, you don't have a place/seat at the wedding. Done and done. My mom always says because of this my wedding's gonna have like 30 people... all goras! LOL
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I may be in the minority but I'd ask for RSVPs because I don't have time to chase people around asking if they're coming or not... My rule is if you don't RSVP, you don't have a place/seat at the wedding. Done and done. My mom always says because of this my wedding's gonna have like 30 people... all goras! LOL
sorry but you made it sound like my mother had nothing better to do but sit and chase people on phone.
Khair, I suppose everyone should do what suits them best.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I may be in the minority but I'd ask for RSVPs because I don't have time to chase people around asking if they're coming or not... My rule is if you don't RSVP, you don't have a place/seat at the wedding. Done and done. My mom always says because of this my wedding's gonna have like 30 people... all goras! LOL
Right, but if you actually want the people you invite to attend your wedding, and you know that they won't all follow the RSVP system, you need to be prepared to make the extra effort to make calls starting 1-2 weeks after you have sent the invitations. We did the same thing. It's either that or deal with all sorts of misunderstandings and mess-ups on the day of. I think it's smarter to prevent all of that.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
id go a bit further. if my wedding was to be in pakistan, id say NO KIDS AT ALL.
if it were to be where i am today, i wouldnt mind. we have had quite a few weddings ove rthe past 2 yrs and there were loads of kids.. but every single one was well behaved. no issue wahtsoever.
pakistani scene is just… torture… we had my bro’s in pakistan and kids started to take away the flower pieces from the stage!!! glued they were and they still managed to get em out.. same with mehndi deco.. burning candles yo!!!
same happened at my wedding.. i couldnt even make it out of the hall without tripping over one toddler or another!!!
i know it makes no diff the location of a wedding.. it all boils down to the upbringing of kids.. but from the weddings ive been to in pakistan and the ones i have been to here in denmark.. world of a difference.
and gori weddings are just.. heaven. danes invite kids too.. i havent seen many weddings take place without kids cuz they are such a family orientated group of ppl… but the way kids behave.. deserve them stickers that you rub and they smell of peaches etc.
ooo knwo what would be reallllll *****y… if you were to invite some couples with kids and refuse others … the ones you know have animals for children. id love to do that to a few ppl in pakistan… 
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
^ and i would find that pretty rude and frustrating as a host. if it says Mr. and Mrs., it says so for a reason. don't attend if you are unable to respect the invitation!
also, i don't think adult-only weddings are boring at all- it gives adults a chance to mix, mingle and chat without worrying about what jr. is up to and if missy has had her dinner. sorry to say, but if the guests are just sitting there just staring at each other then its probably because they're boring people to begin with! :p OR the hosts should take some time to map out a seating chart and pair people with common interests together so they don't get bored but thats another topic.
^ O.M.G. I wish more people thought like you when it comes to this!
If invites are sent out for a wedding to couples only (ie. no kids included)....well guess what....the guests don't have to like it! If a couple does not want to attend a wedding without their children, then they have every right to decline the invitation. But it amazes me when guests think somehow they and their children are ENTITLED to be invited, and impose on the hosts by bringing in uninvited guests. It shows a total lack of manners and respect (self-respect and respect for the hosts).
Adults-only weddings are boring if someone chooses to make them boring. I have never attended a wedding where I didn't know a single person. All desi weddings I attend have tables assigned and I always end up with people I know OR people I end up having something in common with. And I have also never attended a single wedding where I didn't meet new people. I assume every parent had a social life BEFORE the kids were born, and managed to have conversations with other adults. Its not like the skills required to socialize with other adults suddenly dissappear when you become a parent.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
My invitations had RSVP's in them. I also created a e-mail address for the wedding only and gave guests the option of RSVP'ing through e-mail (this was stated at the bottom of the RSVP). I figured if someone was too lazy to put the stamped RSVP on the mail OR somehow loses it....they can still easily shoot an e-mail. The RSVP deadline was 3 weeks BEFORE the wedding. 2 weeks BEFORE the wedding, we personally called or e-mailed everyone who did not send a RSVP (I dealt with my guests, hubby dealt with his). I also left 6 empty chairs throughout the dinner seating just in case anyone showed up at the last minute (my coordinator knew where the empty seats were).
I may be in the minority but I'd ask for RSVPs because I don't have time to chase people around asking if they're coming or not... My rule is if you don't RSVP, you don't have a place/seat at the wedding.
Firstly, you're right in saying that YOU won't have time to chase people around. But that's what close friends and family are there for. To HELP you have a smooth, stress-free wedding day.
While its easy to say that the guests won't have a seat at the wedding if they don't RSVP......in reality, this doesn't work so well. As a bride, obviously you will not be out there dealing with guests. So if/when guests show up on the wedding day, the stress of dealing with that will fall on your wedding planner or family who're in charge that day. In reality, turning away wedding guests by telling them that there's not seat for them b/c they didn't RSVP isn't as easy as it sounds....and it certainly doesn't do much good for your family's reputation. In my humble opinion, the potential stress/drama that can be caused by unexpected guests showing up on the day is not worth ignoring the issue beforehand. Even if someone chooses not to contact each not-responsive guests....at the least some empty seats should be left open in case someone shows up.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I guess I'm a stickler for being courteous and my opinion is that if people don't have the courtesy to reply to an RSVP or shoot an email/phone call, then they really don't care and I don't need them there. It is what it is. If people can't have the common decency to atleast let someone know they will or won't be attending then why should I care if they happen to show up? It makes no sense in my mind. My cousin didn't get any RSVPs back for her valima and the end result was that more than half of her side of the hall was empty because of planning for people who may or may not come.
Anywho.. back to kids...
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
Shaadis are no fun without kids 
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
My cousin didn't get any RSVPs back for her valima and the end result was that more than half of her side of the hall was empty because of planning for people who may or may not come.
Now if she had not solely relied on people sending RSVPs but contacted them, she could have saved some money and all the effort that went into preparing for those extra tables.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
Now if she had not solely relied on people sending RSVPs but contacted them, she could have saved some money and all the effort that went into preparing for those extra tables.
Or she could have assumed they were not coming (which they didn't) and reduced the number of seats on her side again saving money. I personally don't think its the bride/groom's responsibility to re-contact after first contact has been made. The ball's in the invitee's court to be courteous and pick up the phone/send an email/return the rsvp card.
Agree to disagree.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
again, how do kids make a wedding fun? Not critciziing either way but just genuinely curious!