Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
are we desi that much advance/madran 
gora people are smart in these kind of activities
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
GTg Your own wedding
I didnt have my kids at my own wedding... even though we could have since we were nikahfied for a long time :D
I had my nephews, my cousins kids, my mohallay ki auntie's kids, my mom's jananay walis kids.. yep there were lots of kids.. they didnt ruin anything for me!
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I personally wouldn't want kids at my wedding. The kids I've seen run around and are generally misbehaved and parents just don't seem interested in controlling them. At my cousin's Mehndi last year, we were doing our dance, and this 2 year old kept running onto the dance floor with his stroller and his parents didn't care nor did they stop him.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
the issue seems to be more with the parents of the kids than the kids themselves. 
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
I think, they are the one who are responsible of all mess. why are they stepping back. 
If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
At my wedding there were alot of kids but none ruined anything..but I prefer not to take my own kid to someone's wedding(other than family weddings)
No matter how well behaved kids are, parents would still b worried about them..If Im going to a wedding I would want to socialize and enjoy the time there..not be stressed about my kid..when she turns 6/7 she can come along and behave..
Yea Im selfish I know
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
Yes, but only family kids. They add to the enjoyment of the event. But I'd also have a magician or entertainer to keep them entertained for some of it.
My wedding did not have any kids. And not even my hubby's families kids. Did they get offended? Yes they did.
Did each and every one of them attend the wedding without the kids?
Yes they did.
Did I have the wedding I wanted ?
Yes Alhamdulillah.
My sisters wedding the kids were allowed and guess what we hosts were doing , making sure that some kid didn't wreck her cake, some kid didn't fall off the gallery, the kids wouldn't run in between the tables. Btw mist women attending my sis wedding had their maids with them but the maids were busy socializing as well. :smack,:
I am ok with ppl bringing their kids if they are gonna look after them but to be honest most ppl love the social element of weddings so kids get khuli chuttee.
I don't like taking kids to weddings. I welcome the time away from kids all dressed up and the chance to socialize.
If I must invite kids then I would arrange for a baby sitter for these kids.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
If Im going to a wedding I would want to socialize and enjoy the time there..not be stressed about my kid..Yea Im selfish I know
I think many parents feel this way. We had several couples tell us that they were actually happy to have a night out without the kids. LOL.....heck we had 2 couples who left the kids with grandparnets, flew in from a different state and even extended their stay by an extra day (They turned it into a romantic getaway for themselves lol). Since kids didn't get invited....no one questioned anyone else as to where the kids were.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I had just close family children at my wedding and luckily there weren't many on my husband's side either. At my sister's wedding however, the kids from her husband's side got a bit out of control - invading the stage, top table etc.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
90% of the weddings ive attended, i've attended as a kid. if i wasn't allowed at weddings as a kid, i'd probably not even know what wedding traditions are.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
Paheli, I missed you too.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
Paheli, I missed you too.
then i supposed to miss her a lot. :) or it was the distance which make missing directly proportional.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
At my own wedding it would've been impossible, mostly because my husband's family has alot of kids.
My own nephew was only 3 months at the time, so he was more like my accessory. :D
Waise I hear everyone saying that how kids make the wedding fun....uhm...how?
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
No unless their parents can keep them on a leash 
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
I didn't hav any problem with kids @ my wedding.. So no issues from me!
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
Haven’t been to many weddings in my life having lived far away from relatives almost all life… most I attended as a kid myself and remember having a really fun time but then I was a shareef kid. 
The only wedding I attended in Pak as an adult was my sister’s wedding and some of the guests’ kids did create havoc. I have ranted about it all on GS before. For example, they broke a glass and instead of stepping away from the broken glass, this little monster started jumping on the broken pieces because apparently it was fun crushing broken glass… and his mother was just sitting there staring at me from head to toe while I ran after the monsters trying to move them away from the glass, away from the stage which btw they also semi destroyed before the event even began… so yeah, no monsters at my wedding, if I had a choice, which I won’t! 
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
Aside from the stuff that people have said already about kids knowing wedding traditions and all that.. It’s not fair to the parents who have to arrange for people to watch their kids while they attend a wedding. Especially if they have itty bitty kiddos.
I do think kids make weddings fun. Grown ups sit there and look at each others faces until the food it served, where the kids run around and have fun with their friends and make new friends.
Sure they scream and yell and go nuts, but before the music starts going and people are on the dance floor, the kids ARE the entertainment.
And those cute moments when some kiddos in the family go up to meet their new aunt/ uncle and hug them are part of the best moments in the wedding. 
What’s the point of having Mr. & Mrs. weddings? They’re SO boring! Most Aunties and Uncles only dance because the older kids drag them onto the dance flood. LOL
I’ve been invited to desi weddings where it was strictly Mr. & Mrs., and most of the parents ended up bring their kids any way…
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
^ and i would find that pretty rude and frustrating as a host. if it says Mr. and Mrs., it says so for a reason. don't attend if you are unable to respect the invitation! this is why desi weddings get so chaotic so fast- no one understands that it costs money to host people, esp abroad, so you can't bring your whole khandaan with you if it says the invite is only for you and your significant other.
i did have kids at my wedding and i was pretty stressed about it since they weren't the best behaved lot, and lets face it, every little thing seems magnified when you're a bride-to-be. when i expressed my concern to their mothers (my aunts), i was told i'd better make some arrangements because the kids would cause havoc (and they wouldn't do anything about it). my mom was livid when she heard this and we decided it was worth the cash to hire babysitters. in the end, those ladies only cost me $120 financially but were absolutely priceless in making sure the kids were entertained, their parents had a good time, and i didn't have to worry about screaming/crying/interrupting/havoc-causing children ruining things. since then, every family wedding i've had a hand in planning has had babysitters.
after having a kid myself, and knowing he has a routine and is mA an active kid, i'd happily leave him with grandparents, friends, or a babysitter, before attending a social function if only because i know he would be more comfortable playing in his pj's and sleeping at his usual time.
also, i don't think adult-only weddings are boring at all- it gives adults a chance to mix, mingle and chat without worrying about what jr. is up to and if missy has had her dinner. sorry to say, but if the guests are just sitting there just staring at each other then its probably because they're boring people to begin with! :p OR the hosts should take some time to map out a seating chart and pair people with common interests together so they don't get bored but thats another topic.
Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone...
^ and i would find that pretty rude and frustrating as a host. if it says Mr. and Mrs., it says so for a reason. don't attend if you are unable to respect the invitation! this is why desi weddings get so chaotic so fast- no one understands that it costs money to host people, esp abroad, so you can't bring your whole khandaan with you if it says the invite is only for you and your significant other.
i did have kids at my wedding and i was pretty stressed about it since they weren't the best behaved lot, and lets face it, every little thing seems magnified when you're a bride-to-be. when i expressed my concern to their mothers (my aunts), i was told i'd better make some arrangements because the kids would cause havoc (and they wouldn't do anything about it). my mom was livid when she heard this and we decided it was worth the cash to hire babysitters. in the end, those ladies only cost me $120 financially but were absolutely priceless in making sure the kids were entertained, their parents had a good time, and i didn't have to worry about screaming/crying/interrupting/havoc-causing children ruining things. since then, every family wedding i've had a hand in planning has had babysitters.
after having a kid myself, and knowing he has a routine and is mA an active kid, i'd happily leave him with grandparents, friends, or a babysitter, before attending a social function if only because i know he would be more comfortable playing in his pj's and sleeping at his usual time.
also, i don't think adult-only weddings are boring at all- it gives adults a chance to mix, mingle and chat without worrying about what jr. is up to and if missy has had her dinner. sorry to say, but if the guests are just sitting there just staring at each other then its probably because they're boring people to begin with! :p OR the hosts should take some time to map out a seating chart and pair people with common interests together so they don't get bored but thats another topic.
Thank you! I do not understand why desi people ignore invitations - they either don't listen to them or don't rsvp and just show up with their entire extended family. It's so rude.