Re: If you could make your choice without offending anyone…
My invitations had RSVP’s in them. I also created a e-mail address for the wedding only and gave guests the option of RSVP’ing through e-mail (this was stated at the bottom of the RSVP). I figured if someone was too lazy to put the stamped RSVP on the mail OR somehow loses it…they can still easily shoot an e-mail. The RSVP deadline was 3 weeks BEFORE the wedding. 2 weeks BEFORE the wedding, we personally called or e-mailed everyone who did not send a RSVP (I dealt with my guests, hubby dealt with his). I also left 6 empty chairs throughout the dinner seating just in case anyone showed up at the last minute (my coordinator knew where the empty seats were).
Firstly, you’re right in saying that YOU won’t have time to chase people around. But that’s what close friends and family are there for. To HELP you have a smooth, stress-free wedding day.
While its easy to say that the guests won’t have a seat at the wedding if they don’t RSVP…in reality, this doesn’t work so well. As a bride, obviously you will not be out there dealing with guests. So if/when guests show up on the wedding day, the stress of dealing with that will fall on your wedding planner or family who’re in charge that day. In reality, turning away wedding guests by telling them that there’s not seat for them b/c they didn’t RSVP isn’t as easy as it sounds…and it certainly doesn’t do much good for your family’s reputation. In my humble opinion, the potential stress/drama that can be caused by unexpected guests showing up on the day is not worth ignoring the issue beforehand. Even if someone chooses not to contact each not-responsive guests…at the least some empty seats should be left open in case someone shows up.