and your spouse’s best friend comes to meet her/him. If he/she wants to wait in the house till your spouse returns, would you allow that person ?
Re: If you are all alone at home...
If its a female friend I wud let her inn to investigate about my husbaaaanddd's activities :p
Re: If you are all alone at home...
No!
he can come again.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
my husband's friends are respectful nuf to ring him on his mobile and check wot time he'll be a t home and if they do drop by they leave from the door apologising to cum again.......and NO i wudnt let them sit round for even 10 minutes...its awkward....
Re: If you are all alone at home...
Is it possible that a person's spouse calls him/her from office and say " My Boss is coming to meet me from another city, let him/her wait in the guest room and serve him tea, I would return as soon as I finish my work"
^ In the western countries do you think is this possible for a muslim family ?
Re: If you are all alone at home...
if this is a friend who respects you, clearly, as a sister or brother, than the guest can stay and politely you can leave the home for an errand as well as to go call your spouse and tell him/ her to be back, as a friend is over.
if this is a friend of your spouse who is after you, clearly, then this will be a good way to indicate that s/he gets lost.
the tough thing for everyone is their own niyaat & how best they curb someone's else's indication to be too forward. such actions do show the niyaat pretty soon without the action doer's even own knowledge.
pure trust is an undeniable precious factor for everything in a marriage, in my personal perspective.
things should be discussed between the couple so that when such a situation arise, no one is surprised or taken aback.
Dushwari
Re: If you are all alone at home...
my husband's friends are respectful nuf to ring him on his mobile and check wot time he'll be a t home and if they do drop by they leave from the door apologising to cum again.......and NO i wudnt let them sit round for even 10 minutes...its awkward....
I second that!
Re: If you are all alone at home...
I remember a hadith I read sometime ago. (May Allah forgive me if I make a mistake)
The devil says that in two situations a man can't escape from me (it is difficult for him to escape).
When he is angry, I run in his viens like blood and can easily persuade him to do whatever I want from him.
When two na-mehram are all alone in any place. I bring their hearts close to each other and persuade them to get involved in immoral acts.
Human is too weak to trust his own will, as strength of protecting oneself from bad is given by Allah. Thus it is always better to avoid situations where we might be put to TEST, no matter how much we trust that na-mehram. Even a Prophet admits that he couldn't have saved himself from bad "Only" because of his own WILL
Someone said to Hazrat Yousuf (a.s) " You saved yourself from a bad act with Zulaikha"
He (a.s) replied " Actually Allah saved me"
Re: If you are all alone at home...
I see some talk of East/West here. Well I have to tell you that I am western, born and raised gori, married to desi. I only had that type of situation with desis. westerners are so in tune to the craziness of family life that they schedule even a short 1 or 2 hour visit weeks in advance. Not so with desis. We had one couple MOVE IN with us. The husband didnt want to leave but once my husband FORCED the issue, he left - only to go half a mile away. THEN he proceeded to stop in at every opportunity, just walking in the door if unlocked and if locked, knocking incessantly and peering in all the windows. Totally creeped me out.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
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THEN he proceeded to stop in at every opportunity, just walking in the door if unlocked and if locked, knocking incessantly and peering in all the windows. Totally creeped me out.
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^ I pray to Allah that I never comes across a man like this, otherwise my patience would be really tested and I fear I might take a step which my faith doesn't allow me to. May Allah bless such people to the right path.
I mentioned western life style because I haven't seen much of it and wanted to know more about it in terms of the topic. Also in west, people of opposite gender from different families do meet frequently in gatherings, so are not much uncomfortable facing each others.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
Reminds me of a Hadith told to me by someone.
Once a man came to the Prophet (saw) and said that there is a man who is very pious and follow the Islamic teachings except that he has one bad habbit, that whenever he passes by his neighbour's house (who is a woman living alone) he just peeks inside just to see what she is doing.
The Prophet (saw) replied " He is Jahanumi"
I think here Jahanumi might be used as a temporary stay in Jehanum due to this bad act, but also shows the importance of respecting other's privacy specially if it is a na-mehram, as the person might be doing anything like changing clothes etc...
Re: If you are all alone at home...
first of all my husband will not allow his any frend to cum home while he s not there.
second dont ask questions consisted IF ,ager etc. coz these types of ques. also invite shaitan in ur mind.and our Prophet (PBUH) also said that.
but if it happens....then i will call my husband that talk to his frend coz i m alone at home so what would be done then i will wait for his reply.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
and your spouse's best friend comes to meet her/him. If he/she wants to wait in the house till your spouse returns, would you allow that person ?
3some brother.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
second dont ask questions consisted IF ,ager etc. coz these types of ques. also invite shaitan in ur mind.and our Prophet (PBUH) also said that.
My intentions were only to learn from different people how to deal with a difficult situation like this so that we might be prepared before time, due to which I didn't look at it from the above mentioned perspective. It makes sense. I would inshaAllah be more careful in future.
JazakAllah khair for the kind advice.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
3some brother.
Sorry brother, I didn't get what you want to say
Re: If you are all alone at home...
If its a female friend I wud let her inn to investigate about my husbaaaanddd's activities :p
...with a frying pan on one hand and the rolling pin on the other, I hope!
Re: If you are all alone at home…
yaar i dont know, as from experience my best friend`s wife is very close to me and she takes me as a brother and i respect her the same way many a times it so happened that i was supposed to meet them and my friend was late and i went in and trust me not even the slightest thought went thru my head and she never seemed unconfortable in front of me infact she used to talk to me as if she was talking to her own brother. But then thats me well it all depends how much u know the person. Thats all but if ur husband doesnt like it, its a totally different matter. :k:
Re: If you are all alone at home...
Our guest call before they come so my hubby would know if his friends are coming or not.
Hubby and I both have the same view on this issue. one shouldnt be alone with the opposite gender unless its your closest family, meaning sister/brother, father, mother.
Re: If you are all alone at home...
My hubby doesn't invite his desi friends home at all. He only has three close friends that are alowed in our house, two desi and one gora :P
I call them my dewars and if they call hubby and he's five minutes away from teh house, my hubby would ask them to go in and wait for him and then he'll call me to let them in. They'll come in and I'll make chai/ paraths for them. Then they may ***** about their wives saying, bhabhi aap hi samjhaien ussey!!!
I love them like my own brothers!!
I think those guys can't be that bad if they are friends with ur husband and he brings hem home. I hope ur hubbys are not bring every tom, dick and harry home!!
Re: If you are all alone at home...
no way! It would be so awkward for me and i'm sure for his friends too. Plus it would always be best to call ahead since I feel like it would be a bit rude to just show up at somebody's doorstep like that